We're No Longer Ten
by Uchiha Xairylle
Summary: OCxOC:KenYui He was stopping himself from hitting her but he didn't know he was also holding back from HITTING ON her. Characters from my Oh My...! Series.
1. Blame Or Thank Physics

As I type this down, "Oh My Kichigai!" has twenty-six (26) chapters and is not yet complete. By the time that you read this, the "Oh My…!" Bleach Fanfic trilogy has probably ended. Before you read on, I suggest you read the said trilogy or at least even "Oh My Kichigai!" since this fic will be OCxOC. I have written this lemon fic upon request.

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 1 : Blame Or Thank Physics**

* * *

"AH! NO! Ojiisaaaan!" Kurosaki Ken'ichi, now sixteen years of age, struggled against his grandfather who was trying to put something in his pocket. The boy grunted as the old man snickered something about safety and consequences before straightening and tapping his grandson's shoulder and saying, "You'll thank me for this."

"I don't see why." Ken'ichi muttered as Isshin stepped into the clinic. The old man was probably proud of himself. Ichigo's shouting voice from inside the clinic roared for his father to come in and be quick. Six years after Ken'ichi had discovered he was Shinigami… He sighed as he caught a glimpse of a small bunny imprint on his bag. He would remove it if it were just up to him but his mother would probably cry because of it and Ken'ichi knew better than have his mother cry. The flash of an image of her in a small gift store made him smile.

Ah, nostalgia, indeed.

Ken'ichi looked at his pocket and rolled his eyes away. He was going to have to throw it like he always did every morning. Ken'ichi shrugged and strolled away, flinging his bag over his shoulder as he eyed a small version of his father's Shinigami Representative Badge on his waistband. Hopefully, nothing disastrous would come up today like last time when a large Hollow tore off a large chunk off the building. Ken'ichi had a hard time using the Memory Chikan on a lot of people and was forced to cope up with their replaced memories. It was a good thing he had Ryu and Yui to share his burden with somehow.

"Oi!"

Ken'ichi stopped and looked up to see a honey blonde-haired boy waving at him. Ken'ichi waved back and a deep brown-haired girl stepped behind Ryu right on cue. The Kurosaki boy shrugged with a smile as he approached the Ishida twins.

"Ohayou." Ken'ichi nodded at Ryu.  
"Ohayou!" Ryu smiled with another wave.  
"Ohayou." Ken'ichi muttered to Yui with only his eyes moving.  
"Ohayou…" she murmured back with the same gesture.

Since he was walking with them now, Ken'ichi assumed that Ryu and Yui had probably spent the night over at the general hospital, which was near his house. Whenever this was the case, the three of them would walk to school together since it was better that way. After all, it was hard being surrounded by swoons, greetings and whatnot when you're alone.

"Ohayou, Kurosaki-kuuuun!"

Yui inwardly rolled her eyes away as Ken'ichi nodded politely at three giggling girls as they walked along the corridor towards their classroom.

"Ohayou, Ishida-kuuuuun!"

Yui sighed heavily and her brother nodded at the girls much like how Ken'ichi did. Yui had always hated squealing fan girls and being with two young men who were constantly being pestered if not ravaged by girls was not very appealing. She had heard that their fathers had reputations of their own back in high school but she did not remember them being somewhere along the lines of "campus heart throb" or "prom king".

Kurosaki Ichigo did not mingle with women, sported a straight if not scowling face and had little to no interest in dating. His son, on the other hand, had fan girls who were squealing at him and for him especially during P.E. Ken'ichi received dating invitations on a weekly basis and love letters on a daily basis. Ryu was no different and in total contrast to his father, Ishida Uryuu, whose only difference from Kurosaki Ichigo is that he did not mingle with _just anyone_ and that he was head of the Handicrafts Club. Yui had grown sick of scented paper and stationary paper and had switched her favorite color from pink to _red_. Ryu would come home with these letters and some girls would ask her to give him notes. Horrible! She could not imagine herself giggling while blushing as she wrote a letter to a man resembling any of the two odd balls she was with.

"Ohayou, Ishida-san."

Low voices. That was for her.

Yui shifted her vision and only nodded slightly to a group of boys who had audibly sighed in admiration as she walked past them. Ken'ichi looked back at them as he blinked and then at Yui who had nodded to another group.

"I still don't get what it is they see in you, Yui-chan." Ryu said. Yui did not answer. It was not the first time Ryu had said such a thing and back then, she would pout at him, glare at him or try to hit him but now, Yui had just grown out of it. She shrugged and Ken'ichi blinked at her. Her hair behind her was flowing in elegant flips and waves and fell before her waist as she walked with her firm, slender and creamy legs. Ken'ichi shrugged inwardly. He could not imagine him self sighing like a love-sick bastard over her at all. Those young men gave her weird looks — so weird that Ken'ichi felt like bashing their faces in. He didn't know why.

Ken'ichi was observant with how people looked at them whenever they were together. He remembered one time when they got into a fight because of Yui's unwitting elegant charms. Five young men were sitting together around one table as the three of them shared fruit shakes under an umbrella table. The group was a few good paces away from them but Ken'ichi could clearly see the meaningful glances towards them and he was sure that those glances were neither for him nor Ryu. Ken'ichi looked at Yui if she realized this but found her engaged in writing down something as she crossed her legs and bit the cover of her pen. He was about to suggest for them to leave when one guy walked up and handed her a piece of paper with names and numbers. Yui only looked at it and said nothing. Just for everything to be over, she took it and put it between the pages of her notebook before excusing herself and her companions. It would've been nice if it ended there but just as when Ken'ichi and Ryu got up, the wind blew slightly, rustling against Yui's school uniform's skirt. There was a low whistle from one of the young men. Ken'ichi got ticked off and the next thing they knew, punches, kicks and bodies were flying.

Yui was never the outgoing type. It surprised him how she was able to make friends with only several girls but Ken'ichi knew he wouldn't want to have it any other way. Things were fine as they stood right now.

Right now…

Right now, he had the freaking black board to attend to. This stupid equation was not helping him any. What the hell did he care about cookie jars sliding down a ramp at a certain angle with a certain height that took gravity into consideration? Cookie jars were made to_house cookies_ and cookies were meant to be _eaten_. Gravity, angles, ramps and heights had _nothing_ to do with it. Ken'ichi scratched his head but continued to solve anyway. It was not that he couldn't do it. It was just that it was_boring as hell_.

CRACK!

Great. The chalk broke in two and Ken'ichi grunted.

"Excuse me…" Yui had raised her hand and Ken'ichi gasped, eyeing the blackboard to see if he had done something wrong. Yui just got a knack out of randomly pointing out those things to diss him.

Well, he did that to her, too but what the hell…!

"Shouldn't that be thirty-two over pi?"

God damn this woman.

The whole class murmured among themselves and Yui earned glares from Ken'ichi's admirers. Ken'ichi did not even bother to look and started erasing his sixty-four over pi to change it to a god-forsaken thirty-two over pi.

"There's going to be cancellation on both sides of the equation." Yui said again.  
"Oh, crap, you're so clever then, you do it!" Ken'ichi outstretched his arm to give her the chalk.  
"Can't do it on your own, _Kurosaki-kun_?" she raised an eyebrow as she leaned forward, tapping her pencil on her chin.  
"No, but you seem so eager, _Ishida-san_." Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow back at her.  
"Ah, sou?"  
"Sou, sou."

"Would the both of you stop that?" The teacher interrupted them as she leaned on the teacher's table. Arguments such as the one happening at the moment were normal between Yui and Ken'ichi whenever one of them was on the board. Others saw it as competition. Some others, hate. Others find it something like jealousy while some would say it was mutual understanding… on a weird plane.

"Sensei, if she's so clever then she should do it." Ken'ichi was not taking the chalk back.  
"Kurosaki, you do realize that I actually encourage corrections in the middle of problem-solving, remember?"

And Ken'ichi did not see how that was any good.

"Can you or can you not solve this problem?" she asked.  
"I can."  
"Then continue."

"But Miss Genius over there would probably want this spot." Ken'ichi threw the chalk at Yui who caught it and glared. This bastard. Ken'ichi snickered and she threw the chalk back at him. Ken'ichi gasped but captured the one thrown at him and grabbed another one and flicked both at her. The process went on.

Throw. Catch. Throw. Catch. Throw. Catch.

Teacher with an angry vein.

"ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! THE BOTH OF YOU!"

At this point, there were twenty chalk pieces on the floor and Ryu was currently shaking his head.

"You want hell?" the teacher took out a large book, "I'll give you hell!"

Yui and Ken'ichi gulped.

"ON THE BOARD! BOTH OF YOU!"

And hell it was, indeed.

Later that afternoon, Ken'ichi found himself walking while carrying a pile of books with Yui. Their teacher asked them to solve a brain-torture problem that didn't look like it had any answer to it at all. Unfortunately for them, it held consequences. They now had to work together to submit a hundred-page report on the evolution of Physics (What? Triceratops also pushed cookie jars along the ramp?), find, solve and explain fifty problems (As if the Hollows weren't enough…) and come up with a hundred reasons how Physics could be applied to everyday life (which was negative five hundred on a scale of one to ten).

All due tomorrow.

Tomorrow… Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be a guy and a girl walking around like zombies with little to no sleep.

Ken'ichi sighed heavily as he looked away from Yui who was pouting. He hated it when she pouted like that. The image of her red lips pursed at him made him feel really funny and uncomfortable that he had to shift his gaze to somewhere else. Ryu still had football practice with Kon and the team and was going to be home late. Yui and Ken'ichi did not want to work at Yui's place for fear that her mother would eventually kill them by feeding them celery dipped in lemon sauce with crystallized ginger.

"It's good for you!" she would say.

Ken'ichi had to stop himself from saying, "No, it's not."

The walk was rather quiet and Ken'ichi found relief upon finding the house empty. With silence, he dug his pocket and took out his keys and opened the door. He flung it open and let Yui enter first. She glanced at him and obliged.

"This is your fault, you know." Ken'ichi told her as she entered and he locked the door.

"That you didn't realize the thirty-two over pi or that you threw chalk at me?" she asked as she put down the books on the center table.

"You're an idiot." He replied as he followed suit.  
"You're a greater idiot." She glared at him.  
"An idiot stronger than you if that's the case." Ken'ichi shot back.  
"Who can't figure out thirty-two over pi?" She leaned forward in a challenge.  
"Who has more reiatsu than just thirty-two over pi!" He leaned as well to return her glare.  
"With no accuracy, that is."  
"But not stupid hair." Ken'ichi snickered and pulled on her locks.

"OW! LET GO!" She shrieked and gripped his wrist and pressed to inflict pain but he grabbed her hand off his. Yui grunted and stepped on his foot. The boy scowled at her and returned the step but she dodged. He chased with another stomp and she lost footing. Yui fell backwards and Ken'ichi gasped as he chased after her with his arms. He was able to catch her but they ended up falling on the floor…

…with Ken'ichi on top of her.

"You're so _heavy_, you airhead!" Yui complained as she pushed against him.  
"Can't you just stop it with the mockery for once!" Ken'ichi had propped himself up slightly but did not bother to get up.  
"Well, stop being so deserving for the insult!"

Ken'ichi growled.

"You know, you're the only girl who says I'm so stupid!"  
"Good for me, then!"  
"If you don't shut up, I'm—"  
"You're going to what?"

Ken'ichi paused. He had threatened her about a million times since they met so he probably wasn't going to scare her much now. Perhaps he needed something new? What could shut her up? Well, if there was anything she hated, it was to lose to him or be called a weak little girl.

There goes that pout again.

"Say, Yui…" Ken'ichi said in curiosity without clearing off from her, "…Have you ever been kissed before?"

Blood rushed up to her cheeks and Ken'ichi did not know how she did it but she was able to send a fist flying towards his face. Fortunately for him, he had good reflexes and he dodged it and he sat up.

"YOU PERVERT!" A beet red Ishida Yui sat up as well and grabbed him by the hair, "How _dare_ you ask me something like that!"  
"OW! OW!" Ken'ichi complained, trying to pry her hands off his locks without hurting himself in the process, "It was a damn honest question! What's so wrong about it!"

"Well, for one, it's _personal_!" she released him with a jerk and Ken'ichi rubbed his head. He looked up at her as he felt for his scalp that better not have a hairless patch on it later. She was still pink and she was still pouting at him. For some reason, her lips seemed so sexily red today.

"What are you staring at?" Yui's glare intensified and Ken'ichi gasped in attention as he continued to rub his head.

"Tsch. We've been together for how long and been through how much and to you, a stupid kiss is something so _personal_." Ken'ichi spat out all of a sudden and her eyes widened. Ken'ichi wanted to slap his forehead but just looked away instead. He knew she was going to hit him but he did not dare to take any counter measure. He somehow thought he deserved it for such an unwitting comment.

"You talk like it doesn't matter to you at all." She murmured.

Wait, she wasn't hitting him? He looked at her and saw that her eyes had shifted away from him. Great, now he was feeling bad.

"I didn't mean it that way." Ken'ichi grumbled and stopped rubbing his head, "It's… just that…"  
"You expect me to tell you when someone kisses me?" She popped in all of a sudden.  
"HELL NO!" Ken'ichi blasted with wide eyed, "What the shit would I care if someone… kissed…"

What the shit would he care? Well, he would care a hell lot. He was probably going to make the guy eat his own shoe or something. Not that he was jealous. He just felt like he'd be so dissed but he had no time to think about _why_ it annoyed him especially now that Yui was looking at him like she would look at the television screen. It wasn't the first time she gave him this face but he was sure this one was somewhat different. Judging by the way his insides twisted in a warm sense of wanting to do something, Ken'ichi was sure it was somewhat different indeed.

"Well, it's just that…" Ken'ichi began with shifty eyes, "I… He… Er…"

Why did he open such a conversation in the first place? Kisses and hugs were supposed to be girl talk. And Yui was no ordinary girl and Ken'ichi was sure about his own gender, mind you.

"Who would want to kiss you in the first place?" Ken'ichi said carelessly and yet unknowing that he was blushing.  
"Oh, is that _so_?" She crossed her arms across that chest of hers that she probably inherited from her mother (and Ken'ichi hadn't given a damn ever since), "When I get my first kiss, I'm going to be sure to tell it to your face!"  
"HA! Like you'd ever get one!" Ken'ichi raised his head in defiance.  
"Oh, yes I eventually will and it won't be from some jerk around the corner!"  
"You sound like you're talking about me…!" Ken'ichi chuckled.  
"Dream on, loser." She growled at him and slapped him with a book, "I never thought you wanted to kiss me."

Ken'ichi paused and he felt blood rush up that even his ears felt so red.

"I NEVER—" He stopped. She was smiling at him, "WHAT ARE YOU SMILING FOR!"  
"Why are you so red?" Yui pointed.  
"Because you're freaking embarrassing!" Ken'ichi slapped her hand away, "Don't point! That's rude!"  
"You're changing the topic."

Yui pointed again.

"Am not!" Ken'ichi stared at her finger, "If you don't take that finger away, I'm…"  
"Going to what?"

The girl seemed to enjoy dissing him and getting threats from him, didn't she?

"I'm going to bite your finger off!"

Yui opened her mouth to say something but Ken'ichi was faster and in a few moments, the girl yelped after Ken'ichi clamped his teeth around her finger. Yui was about to scamper backwards but Ken'ichi grabbed her by the arm and pulled the two of them closer. She squirmed and kicked him and yet he dodged, losing more space between them.

"KEN'ICHI!" she complained as her free hand pushed on his shoulder.

But everything took a weird turn when she felt his tongue against her skin.

Yui gasped lowly.

Ken'ichi's teeth had detached themselves off her skin and his soft lips were now around her finger as he sucked gently. On normal occasions, she would have slapped him for being so gross but the feeling emanating from the whole thing was not gross at all and she made sure that moan that wanted to come out stayed put.

Yui clamped her lips tighter upon feeling her finger slide out of his mouth and she was unable to hold back from gripping the material on his shoulder. The strange feeling of warmth and want was going mad inside her. She did not know why. Yui could not look at him in spite of the fact that _he_ was looking at her. She wanted to ask him what it was for and why he had stopped but held all thoughts to her self. She did not want to sound like one of his admirers off to claim him as some bishounen pet.

Oh, but he did not stop to totally _stop_. His fingers suddenly locked with hers and surprise made her turn towards him but an even more intense surprise hit her when her lips met with his.

What the hell?

She would've bashed his face in and showered him with arrows if the sensation did not feel so good. But everything felt like it was just waiting to happen — the way his mouth moved, the way he stirred towards her, the way his hand fit hers, the way their fingers interlaced, the way his head tilted to lip-lock with her… even that low moan of his felt so right. Yui would probably hate to admit it but she liked where things were headed to — probably as much as how Ken'ichi loved the direction he was taking with her.

Perverted? Hell, no. Something in the back of his head kicked him and yelled, "About time, you dope!"

Ken'ichi inched closer and his free arm found its way around her waist and pushed her closer towards him. Her eyes were closed as she moved accordingly, gripping his shoulder as his hand felt her back. Ken'ichi moaned again. He never realized she would smell this good and he was sure as hell he didn't want to share this feeling with anyone. If he heard someone said Yui smelled so good, kissed so well and felt so smooth, he was not sure if he could hold back from throwing that person out the nearest window and into the nearest door to hell.

"K-Ken'ichi…" she rasped and he felt a strange fire light up from somewhere in him as he trailed kisses across her cheek. For the love of her, he had not heard her say his name like that since… well… never. But for the record, he would love to hear her call him that way again and his lips made its way down to her neck. Her head threw to one side and she moaned as she gripped both his shoulders, pulling him closer. Her fingers were trembling.

Was she scared?

"Are you okay?" he asked her and she nodded. Her eyes were shut and Ken'ichi just wanted to paint the picture in his head forever. Her fingers slowly ran up to his hair as if coaxing him to continue before the feeling faded away and he closed his eyes, feeling her fingers through his soft raven locks. He brushed his lips lightly against her skin and she uttered a low sound of approval that only stirred more of what Ken'ichi felt like desire.

"Don't leave a mark." Yui whispered softly, "My dad will kill you."

"Aa." Ken'ichi nodded and softly licked her neck. Her fingers tightened and Ken'ichi could feel her body tense. His arms encircled her and Ken'ichi did not know how many times he could tell himself how good it felt to be this close to her. He could feel the contours of her body against him as if calling him closer, as if he could even draw her closer. His mind was racing with his heart and he knew very well that she could feel his chest rap shamelessly.

"Yui…" he murmured huskily in her ear and she sighed as his tongue traced circles in her ear, "I… want you…"

Yui gasped. If it probably hadn't been Ken'ichi, it wouldn't sound like a compliment. But right now, it was not just a compliment. Yui could deny it to herself all she wanted but she was plenty turned on. If she was going to admit it to him, she wasn't so sure but she really did not want her first time to be overly romantic and with that in mind, she grabbed him by the collar and naughtily whispered, "If you want me, you're going to have to _catch me_."

Even before Ken'ichi could ask her what she was talking about, she pushed him off her and ran off. He grunted with a smile. Other men would've lost the mood but, hell, he wasn't just "some other guy". He would love being in control and earning that control was even more exciting.

Ken'ichi got up as he began to undo the first few buttons of his gray uniform. She was trying to be silent but the excitement welling inside her was probably hindering her from doing it properly. Yui could feel her heart racing faster as she felt him approach. She knew he was there although she didn't turn to see but when she did, there was nothing more but an empty space. Yui blinked and stopped right at her tracks before scanning the place. Where was he? She resumed her normal direction and was surprised to have hit something.

Someone.

"Ken'ichi!" she gasped as she stepped back hurriedly.

"Yes?" he tilted his head as he grinned, nodding at her for her to run. She snickered back at him but obliged nevertheless. The steps never seemed to be so many and confusing as Yui treaded the stairs to the second floor. There was no problem if she roamed around the house since she had been in this place for how many times since she met the Kurosaki's and this house was good as hers. The used-to-be "just a few" doors suddenly looked like a maze to her. She forgot which room housed which and upon feeling Ken'ichi draw closer, she grabbed the nearest knob.

Great. Locked.

"You have the wrong door."

"AH!" she squeaked as she motioned to step away from the young man behind her but Ken'ichi seemed to have had enough and picked her up by the waist. He did not put her on his shoulder like he used to and just carried her like a doll in his arms. Yui felt like she could not breathe as Ken'ichi opened the door.

Oh, damn it. This was his room. Yui did not know what to feel and she did not know what to do upon hearing the door close and eventually the lock clicked.

Okay, okay, okay… Manners.

Ken'ichi put her down and she spun to look at him. If it was craving that plagued her mind, she did not know but she felt a great deal of warmth in her body upon realizing that he had rid himself of that gray uniform of his and was now wearing a white shirt.

Manners…

What manners?

Yui's hands shot up and grabbed him by the neck, pulling him down towards her as she met his lips with hers. Ken'ichi wobbled for a while since he had to bend a bit and she had to slightly tip-toe but he was glad that the height difference was not that of his mother and father. His arm made its way around her waist to support her and pull her towards him while she moaned as his other hand began to undo the buttons of her coat. If he didn't have enough self-control, he would've just pulled the forsaken things off and get on with it.

"Ohhh…" she whispered so sexily and he moaned softly as her gray coat came off. Wonderful. Perfect. Yes. Ken'ichi's hand slithered around her body and her toe was hitting the floor from holding the fire. Her head threw back with a sharply indrawn breath when Ken'ichi's hand found its way and kneaded on one of her mounds. He had never felt anything close to this in his entire life and he felt like he could never have enough.

"Does it hurt?" he whispered and she shook her head. It wasn't the reply he wanted. He really wanted to ask her if it felt good but somehow, the words came out in a different way.

"Does it hurt?" He murmured again.  
"No…" she hissed as she clung to him and placed random kisses on his neck, "It feels good… So good…"

Ken'ichi moaned. _That_ was what he wanted to hear. Perhaps he should learn on how to earn coos of delight from her so that he could eventually get her to say the things that he wanted to hear.

"Yui…"

"KIICHI-NII!"

"KWAH!" Ken'ichi tore off every bit of his self from her and Yui fell on the floor back first. She was more shocked than hurt and Ken'ichi bit his lower lip upon seeing her on the floor. With a glare, he turned to the window where Hideki was trying to enter. The boy was blinking with wide eyes. Had he seen something? Anything? Was he getting any ideas? Stupid little brother just had to _ruin_ everything!

"What did I tell you about my room!" Ken'ichi stormed towards his_otoutochan_ and as Yui sat up.

"What are you doing?" Hideki blinked at him and did not stir from his pose on the window. The boy was not in Shinigami form and judging by his soiled everything, it was most probably thanks to that tree that Hideki made his way up here.

"What does it matter? What did I tell you about entering my room!?" Ken'ichi put his hands on his waist. Hideki ignored him and tilted his head to look at Yui who was still sitting on the floor, her back facing the brothers. Hideki's eyes scanned the small place.

Clothes on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Hideki was not lifting his gaze from Yui's discarded coat, "Playing dress up?"  
"Hideki!"  
"Whatever it was…" The boy continued in a serious Rukia tone, "… It required a lot of attention, didn't it?"  
"HIDEKI!"  
"After all, you weren't even able to sense me."  
"SHUT UP, YOU!"  
"I'll leave you to your business." Hideki smirked and waved him off, "I don't really want to watch lovebi—"  
"If you don't stop talking, so help me, I'll…" Ken'ichi was about to grab his brother but the boy immediately jumped onto the tree branch. He landed up messily and Ken'ichi was just about to leap after him if Hideki was not immediately able to recover footing.

Ken'ichi immediately recorded that he should tell his father to cut down this tree or do it himself!

"Where is Ryu-oniisan?" Hideki asked as he stretched his arms to further steady his balance.

"He's… at… soccer… pr… Get down from there!" Ken'ichi was looking at his brother who was busily walking across the branch to even realize what Ken'ichi was saying. The older brother released a sigh of relief as soon as Hideki was able to stable himself.

"I'm going to see him and Kon-kun." Hideki said, "You just go on ahead as I mosey on."  
"Be back before dark, you!" Ken'ichi's head darted out the window as he yelled after his little brother who was trying to shunpo even in his human body.

Then everything was silent. Ken'ichi stopped and felt his heart rapping against his chest. Should he turn around? What if it was all a dream and that he imagined it and— Okay, he was thinking stupidly. He did kiss her. He did hold her. Heck, he _groped_ her. The thing that Ishida Uryuu always said he had been doing to Yui ever since they were kids… He actually _did it_. Now he felt so perverted. So perverted that his father would kill him if he knew! Strangely, Ken'ichi did not care.

"Ken'ichi." Yui's voice shot through his thoughts and he had turned around before he knew it. His eyes widened upon seeing her removing her socks. He was given a very, very good side view of her as she stretched her leg while removing the black knee-high socks she was wearing. He could feel a trail of sweat make its way down his back as if trying to wake him up but he could not remove his eyes from those creamy legs of hers.

"Hey." She said again. He was unable to stop that gasp and he nodded to tell her he was listening.

Were they going to continue where they left off?

**-**End of Part 1** -**

* * *

Author: This was supposed to be a one shot but I guess having 20 pages of something without an ending yet is not considered a one-shot. Good grief. Anyway, here's my KenYui fic. Hope you likesh. REVIEW PLEASE!


	2. Yuiness

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 2 : Yui-ness**

* * *

It was nothing.

Yui made him feel like it was nothing. Like it had been nothing. Yui was across the room and behind him. She was in front of the computer as she looked up information on the net. How could she sit so casually like that as if nothing happened? It was hard for him not to look at her — even just a glance. Oh, dear kami, he could still smell her. He could feel her. His hands could still feel her contours and her warmth was still there. He did not understand how she could just sit there, cross-legged as she clicked on the mouse and pressed on the keyboard while pasting her eyes on the screen. Had she no emotion? Judging by her moans that were stuck in his head, Ken'ichi knew she felt so good.

It was not fair!

_What is?  
Leave him alone, Kaifukuryoku!_

The last thing he needed was two extra consciences.

_I can help him, boob blade.  
You're so HENTAI!_

Ken'ichi shook his head to reorient himself as his eyes glanced on the paper on the thick book on his desk. Damn it, if she could pull off this stint then so could he! He was Shinigami wasn't he? And the Shinigami were on a higher level than the Quincy.

Right?

Dead on.

Taking gravity into consideration, compute all the outside forces acting upon a 45 kg block—

"Ken'ichi."

THUD!

"Ow! Yes?"

She called him in her usual tone but that sent a shiver down his spine. He had fidgeted in surprise and his knee hit the desk but nevertheless turned to her while raising his eyebrow. She was raising an eyebrow back at him. Perhaps he wasn't so convincing. That blush across his cheek and the way his lips twisted to suppress something was probably a complete give away.

"What's with you?" she asked.  
"Oh, me? Well…" He was speaking in the middle of a sigh as he turned towards his not-even-started computation, "… I'm trying to compute the ou—"  
"That was kind of _not_ a total literal question, idiot." Yui's voice was flat and normal and disappointed as a finger rubbed her forehead. She was twisted at the waist as she looked back at him. Ken'ichi just wanted to maim his face with the table lamp.

"Ken'ichi?"  
"I'm sorry." Ken'ichi waved, "You were saying?"  
"Well, your computer froze. I had to restart." Yui pointed with her thumb towards the computer, "It has a password."

"Oh. Right." Ken'ichi got up and tried so hard not to be distracted by her face that was looking at him. Shit, it wasn't good. At least not right now. He was trying to convince her that he was on the same level as her being neutral to what happened several minutes ago. She was wearing her usual face, that Quincy face, that mocking face, that I'm-better-than-you face.

So unlike the face with eyes closed and blushing cheeks as he touched her — that face he wanted to paint a picture of in his head.

The way she spoke was more than just different from a while ago. She was firm, judicial, demanding and outright. It was so unlike the soft coos of delight, those moans of ecstasy and, oh, dear kami, the way she said his name. No matter how many times he replayed it in his head, it still sounded so seductive.

He'd really love to hear her say his name like that again.

"Ken'ichi…!"

He snapped to attention and found Yui looking at the monitor instead of him. He turned and was surprised to see that he had typed a lot of asterisks on the blank.

Great, he just made a big fool out of himself.

"Are you okay?"

No.

"Yeah."

Ken'ichi was trying to ignore her and that dancing tinge in her voice that he had never heard before.

CLACK!

That was the sound of the enter key after being hit by Ken'ichi's anxiety condensed in the tip of his finger.

"Thanks." She said.  
"Baka." He grumbled and straightened.  
"What?" Only her eyes moved but he didn't respond.

There was silence as Ken'ichi made his way back to his desk. His whole stomach was turning and his intestines were climbing up to his lungs that were trying to swallow his heart which was climbing up his throat that was threatening to make him throw up.

There is a "but", though.

"Horny boy." Yui was half-snickering.

That did it.

"Oh, bullshit…!" Ken'ichi vigorously turned towards her and in one strong move, he turned her chair towards him. Yui's eyes widened when he caged her between his arms and she felt like sinking into the chair as he drew close. He was not angry but that look on his face said that he was greatly disturbed. Yui could not help but swallow hard as his glazed eyes looked smolderingly at her. She was gripping the material of her skirt as she kept her legs together, holding back from crawling into a ball. He was sending his reiatsu towards her and she knew it.

"W-what?" she managed to say.  
"You_knew_ it, didn't you?" Ken'ichi glared.  
"Knew what?" Yui blinked innocently.  
"You're playing around with me, aren't you?" he demanded as he inched closer, "You _know_ this sensation, don't you? You _know_ what I'm feeling and you're having fun about it, aren't you?"  
"Well, I…"  
"AREN'T YOU?"  
"I…"  
"It's a god damn YES-NO question, you evil Quincy!"  
"No."

Firm. Sure. Full of Yui-ness.

It would've been a bit expected if he mashed his lips on hers but no. He knew she expected that and if so, she probably had a back-up plan about it. He was going to have her figured out or die trying.

"Oh my g…!" Yui rasped when Ken'ichi's lips landed on her neck. His tongue swiveled against her skin and she could tell he was holding back from sucking. All movements were so sudden and she was unable to stifle that moan that shot faster than her thoughts. Her fingers were now gripping the front of his shirt to stop her self from pulling him closer and to prevent him from pulling away. Her legs were twisting against each other as she writhed on the chair.

"Ken'ichi…" she hissed. He shivered and moaned.

"Ken'ichi…" she called again with a curled seductive manner. He moaned again in need for more. Her neck was not enough. There was want in him and there was that spark again. It was small as if being compressed but it was warm all the same. His lips tore off from her skin and she squirmed in complaint.

"Clothes." He muttered to her ear and she gasped upon feeling his breath against her ear, "I want them off."

Yui squirmed again.

"NOW."

It was an order, not a request. She would've normally screamed at him and maimed him with something but she didn't. For some reason, she was at his mercy and she could do nothing but comply. Ken'ichi smirked as he began kissing her neck. He was getting what he wanted. Yui traced back the events as she began to unbutton the white blouse she was wearing. He had barely done anything but the mere situation of her alone with him in this closed room with a bed (and a closed window with closed curtains) turned her on.

Ken'ichi's lips trailed down her neck and down to her chest. It was hard trying to relax from his nervousness. He had never done this before but it felt so good. He didn't want it to stop. Ken'ichi just wanted to rip something in anticipation. He released a prolonged moan of enjoyment as he felt her chest against his lips and she squeezed her lips together. Judging by that, he was now sure that no one had touched Yui here before and that thought made his hormones jump around like mad.

And then he felt her fingers tugging at his shirt. Ken'ichi was going to say something but all of a sudden, she was pulling his white shirt off his head. He had not properly registered the fact of being topless in front of her when she did something — clung, pushed, tackled. Whatever it was, it knocked him down and he landed back first with her on top.

"I was enjoying that." He complained and she smirked but responded by trailing kisses on his chest. Ken'ichi wanted to arch forward and felt her fingers tracing patterns on random places in his skin. Her mouth was warm. Her tongue was flicking. Her lips were soft. Everything was so good, so right, so delicious.

"Ooohhh, Yui…" Ken'ichi moaned and held back from pulling her hair when she began to lick his nipple as her fingers played with the other. That spark that ran down his spine was not just electricity. He swore that right now, even his reiatsu was probably going mad if he let loose.

And then he was reminded of what he was doing. Ken'ichi pulled her blouse lower and his hands started to feel around for the clasps of her bra. His fingers trembled upon feeling the thing he was looking for but he was too nervous to do it properly. Yui giggled and he blushed when she sat up. He gulped as he looked at strands of hair beautifully falling over her face. Her hands reached behind her and he felt something between his legs when she started removing her blouse and even more when that pink undergarment of hers came off. Yui sighed and fixed her hair as he stared at the topless girl on a skirt who was sitting on top of him. She noticed his smoldering eyes and it was her turn to blush.

Ken'ichi was not able to stop his hands from reaching out for both her mounds and kneading those. It was a weird but tingling sensation that was more than just heat that he felt upon seeing her gasp and moan upon his touch. She was arching in the most seductive way he could ever imagine.

"Oh, don't stop…" She said when he started playing with her nipples. Ken'ichi could not deny to himself that those _assets_ of hers now caught his attention when he moved. Mentally and silently, he told him self that if those caught anyone else's attention with him noticing, he would make sure to make that person catch negative levels of hell.

"Ah…!" Ken'ichi gasped when he felt her fingers running across the material over his length. His joints felt like they wanted to disassemble in a sensation of explosion. The heat in his body was increasing rapidly — more than he ever felt with his reiatsu…

… Especially now that she was unzipping his pants.

"OH DEAR KAMI-SAMA!" Ken'ichi was unable to hold back that silly comment of his upon feeling her fingers around his length. He was squirming beneath her — writhing, moaning, groaning, panting… And it made her all the more excited and turned on.

"You like it?" she asked.  
"Yes, oh shit, Yui, yes."

Yui was biting her lip from holding back from saying anything about his erection. It did not sound like her if she would talk dirty. Oh, but it was so appealing to her now. But she really did not want to turn him off and she whimpered her remarks between her sealed lips.

"Y-Yui…" he managed to say and she batted her eyelids at him. He groaned some more and forced to prop himself up. Her fingers leaving his member were torture but he endured. Even though they were engaged in something that could cost holes in his body, Ken'ichi still thought he should be a gentleman. Ishida Yui was not his bitch and it was not right that she was pleasuring him while he was barely pleasuring her.

"Ken'ichi?" she blinked.

"Ssh." Was his short reply and slowly he began licking her nipples. She fidgeted in surprise and she released a small shriek. Her hands messed her own hair in pleasure as Ken'ichi played with one nipple in his hand and circle his tongue around the other.

"Ohh… More, please…" Yui said as her legs clamped around his body and a hand pushed his head towards her chest. Ken'ichi moaned upon feeling the wetness between her crotch and he had to stop himself from tossing her to one side and just thrusting into her until she was hoarse from screaming his name.

Screaming his name. Just how erotically wild could that be?

"Ken'ichi…" she said again. He really could not get enough of his name on her voice.

"Hmm?" he lifted his face towards her as one finger reached down south and felt her entrance. She squirmed before she could say anything and clutched tightly onto him. Ken'ichi looked at her blissfully shut eyes and swore that there would be _no one__else_ to see this face of hers except him.

Only he would see it.

Only he would be the cause of it.

"We have things to do." Yui muttered, "Take me now."  
"N-now?"

Ken'ichi totally sounded like an unready virgin but Yui said nothing. Ken'ichi swallowed and picked her up to take her to his bed. He was not going to do this on the floor with her.

On the bed — nothing less.

Ken'ichi was trembling upon feeling the pack his grandfather placed in his pocket this morning. He never thought he was going to use it and he glanced at her. Yui knew and she did not look at him so as not to further embarrass him. Ken'ichi admired that control she had in her. Although he knew that her passion was burning like hell, she was still able to think properly and read him like an open book.

His pants pooled at his knees and he was even more flabbergasted upon seeing her beneath him. He was careful not to crush her and he steadied himself by planting his palms on either side of her head. Yui was blushing but she held back from letting go of any signs of nervousness.

Reserved as always.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

She nodded.

Ken'ichi clamped his lips together and tried hard not to close his eyes. He wanted to see what she looked like when he took her and slowly he entered. It probably wouldn't hurt her so much because of all the Hirenkyaku she had been doing but he still decided to go slowly. Her eyes were shut as she took him inside her and he was careful not to cause any unnecessary pain. It was so erotic when she closed her eyes and closed her mouth as she moaned while her head moved towards one side. She kept on saying his name and he replied with hers.

Yui's back arched when he was fully in and she clutched onto his arms while he looked at her mouth that was partly open. He took the moment and seized her lips and his tongue swiveled wildly inside her mouth. Her eyes cracked open but she was immediately able to adjust and her tongue began to respond to his.

Yui moaned into him when he began to start a rhythm. This was new to the both of them and it took them several moments before they could catch each other's pace. It was very much like them. Totally in denial. Hating but loving. Pushing but drawing back. Trying to find each other, claim each other, hold each other without even knowing how. Yui's hips were moving against his as if forcing one's movement with the other but in the end, they would eventually find the movement that would cause them more than just the epitome of ecstasy.

"Uuuumph." Yui whimpered and Ken'ichi gasped.  
"Did I hurt you?"  
"N-no." she shook her head, "Do that again…"  
"L-like this?"

Ken'ichi moved his hips slowly and he drew out a little before entering again.

"Oh, yes… Like that." She was sighing in pleasure, "Again, Ken'ichi…"

He was being lost in this image of her, lost in her voice, lost in her touch… Lost in this feeling of her.

Lost but found.

Yui was trying hard not to make her lip bleed as he moved in and out of her. She did not know what to do or what to say but she did want him to go faster. He was careful not to hurt her and that showed through his eyes and movements — the way his arms shook, the way he grunted, the way he thrust, the way he was so careful. She had always denied that to her self that she needed that care from him but Ken'ichi's protectiveness was something she had gotten so used to. He provided her with some sense of safety that was different from her father or her brother.

Ken'ichi. Kurosaki Ken'ichi.

It was high time that they made things known to each other, wasn't it?

"Yui… Yui… I… I…" He rasped as he held back from slamming so hard into her.  
"Oh, Ken'ichi, you feel _SO GOOD!_" Yui was nearly screaming as her hips moved faster against his. He paused for a while and looked at her. Yui was unable to blink and she blushed.

Did she sound so dirty?

"Say that again." Ken'ichi told her.

Oh, dear god, those smoldering eyes of his!

"So good, Ken'ichi…" Yui said with that seductive curl again, "You feel _SOOOO__GOOD._"  
"Shiiiit…" Ken'ichi grunted and his pace started to quicken randomly like broken lines.

He was still trying not to hurt her.

_Ken'ichi, you're not going to hurt me._

"Faster." She said.

He grunted but did not comply.

"Harder." She added.

He grunted again.

"Please, Ken'ichi…" Yui spoke in her normal voice, "We're this far already, aren't we? Would you hurt me by holding back?"

Ken'ichi's eyes moved towards her.

"Am I not good enough for your all?" Yui asked.  
"You_are_ my all." He commented. Their lips met. His pace quickened.

Hard. Fast.

"Mmmmmmmph!" Yui moaned into him and Ken'ichi tore off from their kiss. It was so intense that they could not even bring themselves to open their eyes. Ken'ichi proceeded to bury his face in her neck and she dug her nails into his skin and left marks in their wake.

"So tight… You feel so tight…" Ken'ichi began.

"I love you…" he said again as he panted and his words were coming quickly one after the other as if trying to catch up with his thoughts, "I love you… I love you… My god, Yui, I love you. I love you. I love you… I love you…"

She had lost count on how many times he said he loved her but all the pleasure and shock that was overwhelming her now was keeping her from responding. Ken'ichi did not mind. He just had to say everything.

Who knew sex could make him so honest?

"I love you… I love you…" Ken'ichi continued as if his words were not ever going to be enough, "I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. No one's ever going to touch you but me. No one's ever going to kiss you but me. No one… No one… Oh, god, say you're mine."

"K-Ken'ichi…"

He lifted his head and looked at her. He was almost there but he would wait for her and so help him, he was going to climax with her.

"Say it, please."  
"I… love…" Yui was trying to open her eyes. She wanted to see how he looked like when she told him, "I… love…"

It was hard not exploding before she said it.

"I love you."

He smiled. That was it.

"AAH!" Yui closed her eyes tightly. Ken'ichi felt her walls tightened around him as she screamed his name over and over and over again.

"THIS IS ALL SO GOOD!" she yelled as one hand gripped his hair. His head threw back and he lost it. A bright white light flashed before his eyes and Ken'ichi felt like something was tearing his body in a good way. Every inch of him was screaming, tingling, burning… He gritted his teeth and shuddered and his elbows weakened.

He did not want to fall on her as he pulled out.

"It's okay." She whispered as her arms encircled him, "I'll catch you."

Ken'ichi sighed and collapsed on top of her. She winced upon feeling his weight and realized he was heavier than she thought he was but she did not mind. Yui closed her eyes and felt him catch his breath. Ken'ichi sighed as he felt her fingers stroke his hair.

"Yui…" he began as he rested his chin on her shoulder.  
"Hmm?" She asked, slowly turning towards him and her cheek met the side of his head.  
"I…" Ken'ichi said again as both of them breathed rather heavily, "… I like where and how this is going."

Yui did not respond and if she did not say anything in the next few moments, Ken'ichi was sure he would hit his face with his own fist.

"Me, too."

He sighed in relief, taking in her scent as he breathed in afterwards.

"Promise me something." Ken'ichi began a little hesitantly and she only uttered a low sound of encouragement and he paused, contemplating if he should stop or change the topic but went on nevertheless, "Promise me you won't… do this with someone else."

A short pause.

"Of course."

---

"ISHIDA-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

Hideki looked up at the group of rabid fan girls who were threatening to break down the fence from all their shrieking. The rest of the soccer team was there and several other names could be heard from other females but the constant squeal of "Ishida-kuuuuun" was getting annoying. Hideki was next to Ryu who was sitting beside Kon on the grass and the in-a-gigai mod soul was pretty pleased with how the ladies flocked around Ryu every practice. Hideki released a deep sigh.

"What's wrong?" Ryu asked as he wiped sweat off his forehead.  
"Yui-oneechan… Yui-oneechan and Kiichi-nii…" Hideki pouted. Ryu raised an eyebrow.

Was he allowed to say "Finally!" at this point?

"What happened to the Baroness of the Valleys?" Kon asked Hideki who immediately glared and punched Kon in the gut. After a short "oof" and stomach rubbing, an infuriated mod soul aimed a kick at Ichigo's son.

"BRAT!" Kon glared with a swing of his leg, "I'M GOING T— GAHW!"

A soccer ball hit Kon's face and he fell on his bottom. Ryu had not moved from his after-throw position as he looked at Hideki and asked, "What's with them?"

Hideki was still pouting and he blushed before looking away and saying, "Am I not as handsome as Kiichi-nii?"

"What the crap?" Kon blurted as he rubbed his face.  
"Why are you asking?" Ryu blinked, "Did something happen?"  
"I'm annoyed." Hideki was saying now as he tried hiding his face between his knees, "I saw them in his room. Her coat was off. His uniform was off."

Ryu's normally playful and poker eyes widened as Kon's jaw fell on the grass.

Coat off. Uniform off. In… Ken'ichi's… room…?

"What were they doing?" The question came out from Ryu even before he could process anything.  
"I don't know." Hideki shrugged a bit, "It looked like he was hugging her but I could only see one hand on Yui-oneechan's back."  
"One… One…" Kon stuttered, "One hand…? Where… could his other hand be?"  
"I thought he was hurting her so I screamed at him." Hideki continued, "She was groaning and all that and when I yelled, he dropped her on the floor."

Ryu swallowed hard.

Ishida Uryuu was _so_ going to disintegrate Kurosaki Ken'ichi using his bare hands… In Quincy Bankai.

"It looks like it's nothing." Hideki said again as he tried muffling his voice, "But I'm really, really, really annoyed."

Ryu had lost every intention of comforting Hideki as he figured out how his father was going to perform konsoh on his best friend. Ryu was not dumb. He knew something was going on between Ken'ichi and his sister but it did not occur to him that they would do _something_ to kick off everything.

"Ryu-oniisan."

That was Hideki.

"Huh?" Ryu blinked at the Kurosaki youngster who was pointing towards Kon who passed out from a nosebleed.

"I think he's dead." Hideki commented.

If Hideki was talking about Ken'ichi then the answer would be, "You bet your ass, yeah."

**-**End of Part 2** -**

* * *

Author: Whee! Part 2 is up! I'm sorry I've gotten slower. Something came up… Wait, some _things_ came up but nothing so serious. I'm thankful that the first chapter's reviews exceeded ten counts. Yay! I'm also glad that my OCxOC pairing is okay with you guys. Thank you for welcoming Ken'ichi and Yui as if they were original Bleach characters. I'm very grateful and flattered.

Cheerios, cookies and Bankai to us all!


	3. Children Cancel Clandestinology

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 3 : Children Cancel Clandestinology**

* * *

"THIS IS NOT FAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIRRR!"  
"Ara." Urahara fanned himself as he looked at the closed fusuma, "What is wrong with Kon?"  
"I WANT WOMEN, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"  
"I don't think I want to ask." Urahara shrugged.

After Ryu and Hideki dragged (yes, they did not carry him) Kon back to Urahara's store, they immediately resorted to staying there for a while to talk to Hideki some more. It was a closed-door meeting between them, according to Ryu, and he did not want anyone to be prowling around to eavesdrop. They even put a sign with a red diagonal line over the image of a black cat (Hideki could draw well).

"Okay, Hideki." Ryu leaned forward towards Hideki as Kon continuously sobbed in delirium, "Tell me, in detail what happened?"  
"Why?"

The boy was skeptical as ever.

"I_am_ your brother's best friend."

Hideki did not look convinced. Ryu was the only one he could comfortably talk with who was out of the family but that didn't erase his natural skepticism. Whatever. Ryu had his ways.

"Yui-chan's twin brother, too."

"Well…" Hideki began and Ryu stopped himself from smiling. Yui's name could really do wonders and the youngest Kurosaki son started to talk.

"When I came home, the door was locked so I tried the window." Hideki narrated, "Kiichi-nii's room had a window with a tree nearby so I thought I could enter there. At first there wasn't anything unusual about the surroundings buuut…"

"But?" Ryu raised an eyebrow. He was having an idea of what Hideki would say next. The boy looked at Kon behind Ryu and contemplated for a while. The mod soul had not stopped yapping about Yui, the valleys and his long overdue virginity if there was even such a thing. Ryu took a glance at Kon and found him sitting stupidly like a lifeless doll as he mumbled things in broken Japanese.

"Don't mind him." Ryu shrugged.  
"Make him stop." Hideki pouted, "He's talking about Yui-oneechan."  
"He's always like that."  
"I know and Otousan told us to hit him whenever he talks like that about any female." Hideki was still pouting as he looked at Kon, "_Always_ hit Kon-kun when he's like that."

Ryu sighed and shrugged.

Was that a countermeasure for Mai's future?

"Do the honors, then. I'm not wasting any of my effort on him again."

It seemed fair enough for Hideki. He could somehow vent. Ryu did not get the point of Kurosaki Ichigo telling his son that it's okay to hurt other people regardless of age if they seem stupid from their point of view. Whatever happened to non-violence and reasonable parenting? Well, Ichigo-san was probably a very open-minded person then. And for her wife to tolerate it, she must have the same outlook in life. None of that now. Hideki had just finished marking Kon's face with his little fist.

"WHAT THE CRAP DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Kon yelled at the small boy.  
"You're in no position to be asking questions!" Hideki shot back like a little Kuchiki Byakuya, "What the hell do you think you were talking about _anyway_!?"  
"Oh, you want to know, you little prick?" Kon raised an eyebrow and aimed to grab Hideki by the throat but the kid swatted his hand away, "Your brother, and Ryu's sister — your biggest crush of your time — just took their time and devir—"

"SANTEN KESSHUN! I REJECT!"

WHAM!

A large three-point shield pinned Kon face first towards the floor. He grunted and cursed at Ryu's versatility in using the Rikka. It was just not fair.

"Would you like a tongue piercing, Kon-senpai?" Ryu was smiling at him, "Quincy arrows are sharp and would probably alleviate any pain."

Kon looked away in annoyance. The tri-link shield disappeared.

"Now, Hideki, what did you see?" Ryu assumed his lazy sitting position and Hideki sat ceremoniously in front of him.  
"He was holding her with one hand… I don't know what his other hand was doing."

Ryu nodded.

_That hand was definitely not being kept to himself._

"He was holding her rather tightly and she was… squirming?" Hideki was doing a face as he looked up in contemplation, "He asked her if it hurt and she replied with something that was a bit muffled…"

_She wasn't fighting back, then._

Ryu continued to listen.

"Then he… bit… he bit her neck, I think and that was when I got worried and yelled at him."

Ryu raised an eyebrow.

_You bastard, Ken'ichi. I wasn't even able to Hirenkyaku to base one and you were able to Shunpo to freaking home run! You are NOT being fair!_

For a guy who just heard a hint that his twin sister was groped and probably deflowered, he was taking it rather lightly. Well, it was probably because he had already been expecting it to happen _so many times now_. And since it was Ken'ichi involved with his sister, Ryu knew so well that he'd be better off sitting back and watch them fuss over each other than tell them what to do. They've got brains of their own. Now if Ken'ichi raped his sister then that would be another story all by itself but Yui was really not the type to be pinned down against her will.

"If they were arguing, that was a very strange way of bickering." Hideki was saying now and Ryu smiled faintly.  
"If I told you your brother is a vampire, would you believe me?" Kon was thinking out loud and Hideki shrugged him off.  
"I'm annoyed. I'm really annoyed." Hideki was talking to Ryu.  
"There are things… that… well…" Ryu began and rubbed his chin, "Things that had started even before you were born."  
"What things?"  
"For one, Ken'ichi and Yui-chan called each other by name the day they first met each other."

_And that was thanks to me. Shit, Ken'ichi, you owe me YEARS of payback!_

"They did?" Hideki muttered thoughtfully, "Then why did s… s… stu… stupid Kiichi-nii have to wait for how many years to be together with her?"  
"You know, that's everybody's question." Kon replied carelessly as he resorted to lying down on the floor of the empty room, "I bet even _they're_ asking that question."

Ryu bit his thumb.

If those two really got together in Ken'ichi's room, they were going to need some back up especially if Mai had been lurking around the place like the stealth princess that she was. If anything, Mai was unconsciously very good in hiding reiatsu that even her brother couldn't sense her when she didn't want him to. In this case, the only people who can find her are her own parents or her Byakuya-ojisama.

Ryu got up.

"Come on, Hideki, we're going to your place."  
"What for?"  
"To warn the prince and the damsel from the demon that is Quincy."

Hideki raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Ryu walked out. Ryu just felt like something was up. And indeed, something was up. Or rather, down.

They had just gone down from another climax.

Yui's chest heaved as she lay on the bed and looked at a topless Ken'ichi who was buttoning up her blouse. She could not remove her eyes from his visage. If anything, Kurosaki Ken'ichi was one hell of a fast learner. That or he had done this before. If not, then he was definitely good. She did not count how many times he was able to make her see that white light while holding back his own but she was sure it was more than just two times. He told her she'd be so tired that she couldn't hit him at all and, oh boy, was he right! She thought the bed would collapse and that the neighbors could hear her screams muffled by the pillow. His name was still in her head and his touch had still not left her senses.

"You can walk straight but you won't be able to Hirenkyaku for quite a while." He snickered, "I assure you that."

She smirked. He was stressing that he could catch her when he wanted to.

"We're just lucky no one's around." Yui commented.

Ken'ichi shrugged. Well, he knew it was possible that someone could knock any moment and find them out but everything felt so good that the whole of Karakura could've been eaten by Hueco Mundo and he wouldn't care at all. Yui felt so good and her moans were like fuel to his desire. It was addictive — very addictive. They had just done it but he couldn't wait for them to do it again.

"It's a good thing we locked the door." Ken'ichi said as he started putting on his white shirt.  
"As if that's going to stop my dad." Yui sighed and turned to her side and sniffed Ken'ichi's scent on his pillow.

Sexy.

"What's he going to do?" Ken'ich said as his arms slipped in of the sleeves, "Break down my door?"

Tzing!

There was a strong reiatsu. Ken'ichi was unable to finish putting on his shirt and immediately grabbed his Shiigami Representative badge.

CRASH!

The window splintered and shattered and Ken'ichi immediately picked up Yui by the waist as the girl squeezed her eyes shut. Ken'ichi was about to shift to his Shinigami body but realized that it was Ryu and Hideki climbing into his window.

"What's the meaning of this?" Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow and Yui was busily giving him obvious hints to put her down. His arm was around her waist and her toes were not touching the floor.

Ryu blinked at this image and whistled lowly.

"Ryu, you can knock, you know!" Ken'ichi put Yui down and walked towards his shirt on the floor.  
"I was afraid you wouldn't hear me." Ryu was grinning mischievously.  
"At least don't act like a barbarian breaking in through the window." Ken'ichi pulled his head out of his shirt as Yui proceeded to walk towards the window. Ryu followed with his eyes.  
"Hey, I warned you with reiatsu, didn't I?" Ryu walked towards the bed and picked up one of Ken'ichi's magazines. Ryu felt the sheets with his palm.

Warm. It had been used.

"Oh, that's helpful." Ken'ichi picked up his gray uniform and all of a sudden, a small hand was handing something.

A gray coat.

Ken'ichi looked up as he took it.

"Hideki?"

The magazine was open but Ryu was looking at Hideki. Yui was not saying anything as she rejected the broken window but Ryu knew that she knew she was doomed.

Oh, the blackmail!

"Hideki." Ryu said as he tossed the magazine, "Would you find Mai for me?"  
"Huh?" Hideki looked at Ryu, "She's probably with Otousan again but okay…"

Hideki shrugged and turned away but stepped back, looked at Ken'ichi and said, "Slowpoke."

"WHAT!?" Ken'ichi's eyes widened but the boy immediately ran out of the room, slamming the door as a reply. Ryu started laughing and Ken'ichi turned to him instead with a questioning look. Yui was not saying anything as she attended to using the Rikka on the window.

"What's so funny, Ryu?" Ken'ichi started towards the Ishida boy who did not answer. Ken'ichi scratched his head heavily, "If you're not going to tell me at least stop laughing like a hyena already."

But Ryu merely smiled at him. Such a disturbing smile! It almost made Ken'ichi feel that Ryu was up to something again.

"Stop smiling at me like that."

Ryu smiled wider.

"STOP THAT!" Ken'ichi threatened to hit Ryu with Yui's coat.  
"I'm just smiling desuuuu…" Ryu planted his palms on the bed and leaned back.  
"What are you smiling for?" Ken'ichi leaned forward in annoyance. He hated not knowing something especially when he felt like it's about him, "Tell me!"  
"Hey, Yui-chan." Ryu turned his head towards his twin sister, "What happened to your socks?"

The girl gasped and looked down. Shit.

"Oi, you baka." Ken'ichi nodded at Yui who merely glared at him, "Catch!"

He tossed the gray material to her and she lifted a hand and caught it with much ease. With a smirk, she spread it and tied it around her waist. Ryu was still smiling. Yui sighed and walked towards her brother. Moments passed and the twins stared at each other.

WHAP!

Ken'ichi cringed at that echoing slap to the side of the head that even Ryu's poker face showed a clear trace of surprise as his head hit the bed. Ken'ichi opened his mouth to say something but couldn't as his best friend sat up and robbed the painful part of his head while giving his sister the "wtf" look.

"Talk." Yui demanded, "Tell me everything."

Ryu blinked but smiled nonetheless as he commented innocently, "What could you be talking about?"

That was the exact thing Ken'ichi wanted to ask.

"Ryu." Yui's eyes narrowed, "Tell all."  
"Well, my voice has a price." Ryu was still grinning, "And so does my silence."

Ken'ichi's eyes widened. Could he…? Did he…? Was he…?

"Don't tell me he…"

Yui was still frowning. Ryu flashed his world-class smile.

Ken'ichi slapped his forehead. Darn it.

---

Rukia giggled as she arranged the little rabbit figures on one of the shelves of her little gift shop. The whole place had a purple-pink-white motif. Her "very practical" husband reasoned that they couldn't get someone to do the paintjob but later regretted it after hearing Rukia talk about the color scheme of her little shop. All thanks to this, Ichigo, Ken'ichi, Ishida and Ryu had to do the colors themselves while suffering from a bossy Kurosaki midget.

The sound of the chimes danced towards her ears.

"Irrassha—WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Rukia hollered with a deliberate point at her husband in Shinigami form who was wiping his dirty sandals on her rabbit-shaped doormat. Although her powerful voice resounded across the room, Ichigo had gotten so used to it that he ignored it. The woman growled and pouted before storming towards her husband.

"ICHIGO!" she said again and grabbed him by the hair.  
"HEY!" Ichigo complained, "Is this what I get for working so hard!"  
"What are you doing to my doormat?!"  
"Is that a question? _Using it_, of course!"

"Noisy as ever." A male sigh.

Rukia looked behind Ichigo and saw Uryuu who was in his Quincy garb as he wiped his dirty shoes on the fluffy rabbit image on the floor.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, YOU STUPID MEN!" Rukia yelled and Uryuu merely blinked at her. Their families had gotten so close that Rukia already had the audacity to scream at Uryuu and throw things at him. Orihime, on the other hand, also began to make high-pitched sermons and demands at Ichigo who would merely raise an eyebrow and shrug her off.

"I'm using your door mat, Rukia." Uryuu said calmly, "I'm sure that's what it looks like."  
"That's what I've been trying to tell her." Ichigo grumbled as he removed his Shinigami sandals. Uryuu raised an eyebrow and looked at a glaring Rukia before following suit.  
"Hello…!" Orihime entered and Rukia dismissed the part of greeting her and pointed to Uryuu and said, "Orihime, your husband desecrated my doormat again!"

Orihime gasped and looked at Uryuu.

"URYUU!"  
"What the hell, it's just a stupid door mat." Ichigo shrugged.

"ICHIGO!" Orihime gasped and shrieked at the same time and Rukia immediately took up the door mat and somehow slapped Ichigo with it. Uryuu immediately knew what would come next and he would not want his white Quincy garb to be tarnished. He backed away as Ichigo began to regain his footing.

"The_stupid door mat_ just slapped you, Kurosaki-daikou!" Rukia pouted and dropped the rabbit-shaped thing. Ichigo growled and was about to say something when from the window came someone.

"DADDY!"

Uryuu rolled his eyes away as that usual scowl on Ichigo's face was replaced with what Uryuu wanted to call a "freaky happy mask". It was scarier than Ichigo's Vaizard mask. Orange tresses came to Uryuu's sight and Ichigo immediately picked up the little girl who was running at him. The little girl squealed and clung to him and Ichigo planted a long kiss on his daughter's cheek.

"What did I tell you about carrying her all the time?" Rukia said flatly.  
"I haven't carried her so much today." Ichigo reasoned.  
"Is that actually a _necessity?_" Uryuu was asking no one in particular but Ichigo glared at him nonetheless.

_And THAT is why you have a snobbish daughter, Uryuu._

"Daddy, we have to buy new clothes." Mai said seriously.  
"What?" Ichigo blinked, "Why does my dimple bun think so?"

Dimple bun. Uryuu just wanted to kick Ichigo's knee for it.

"Would you like a dress, Mai?" Orihime asked.  
"Oh, it's not for me." Mai smiled sweetly, "It's for Kiichi-nii."  
"Ken'ichi?" Rukia blinked.  
"Hai!" Mai replied innocently as her father smooched her cheek, "And Yui-oneechan."  
"Yui?" Orihime looked at Rukia who shrugged.  
"Hai, they have no clothes."

Silence.

First, it was deafening. Next, it was disturbing. Then, it was freaky.

And then it was broken.

"WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!" Ishida Uryuu flared up with his reiatsu as he looked at Ichigo who was not blinking at his daughter while he tried closing his open mouth.

They had no clothes?

"Maybe they're just swimming." Orihime commented.  
"Kiichi-nii has no pool in his room." Mai replied.  
"THEY ARE _WHERE_!?" Uryuu stomped a foot but Ichigo was too busy processing something about grandkids to even realize it.  
"Oh, they were probably beaten up and got robbed and… and… and…" Mai recounted thoughtfully. Rukia fidgeted and asked her daughter, "Beaten up?"

"Haaai…" Mai continued in a sing-song voice, "Mai-chan heard Kiichi-nii asking Yui-oneechan if it hurt and she couldn't answer back because she was groaning and moaning and huffing and Kiichi-nii had to give her air by mouth-to-mouth…"

It was like an ambulance siren to Ishida Uryuu and in his mind, he had already pulled out a giant bow and fired fifty thousand consecutive arrows the size of Zangetsu.

"KUROSAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Uryuu yelled angrily and Ichigo only looked at him. The Quincy was very, very red.

"Maybe Yui was choking." Orihime said again. Rukia smiled wanly. This girl and her stupid comments. Was she ever serious about them?

"Ichigo, your son is a god damn _pervert_!" Uryuu pointed deliberately at Ichigo.  
"Shut up." Ichigo glared, "There is probably a very good explanation for this."  
"Oh, let's see what that line means when someone gropes your little_princess_ in the future."

Ichigo took a sharply indrawn breath. No one was going to desecrate the little girl in his arms!

"If anyone touches my daughter, I'm—" Ichigo hollered.  
"See what I mean? Now you should _partly_ understand how I feel about your son kissing my daughter and—" Uryuu shot back.  
"Araaaa but Kiichi-nii was not kissing Yui-oneechan." Mai blinked in interruption as she raised an innocent hand, "Mai-chan is sure!"

Rukia gulped. That could either be good news, bad news or doomsday.

"What were they doing?" Orihime cracked the dreaded question. Uryuu gulped.  
"Araaaaa, I don't know but definitely not kissing." The little girl said proudly, "Mai-chan knows what kissing looks like."

Ichigo smiled proudly and looked defiantly at the Quincy archer as if to say, "See?" Ishida was still frowning unconvinced. It would've been okay if Mai did not feel like showing of and explaining to get her Kiichi-nii "off the hook".

"Kissing lets lips meet." Mai said as if lecturing, "They had their mouths clamped together. It was mouth-to-mouth, I tell you."

Rukia wanted to faint and Ichigo was then further worried for the mental welfare of her tangerine princess. What else could she have seen? What did she think it was? How was he going to explain to her when she asks why her brother's arms were all over his "friend"?

Where on earth do babies come from again?

"KUROSAKI!" Uryuu Ishida was wrapped up in blue reiatsu.  
"You bastard, you're going to ruin my house!" Ichigo handed Mai to Rukia, "Stop that!"

And without further ado, Orihime replied, "It's okay, I can reject the damages."

**-**End of Part 3** -**

* * *

Author: Sorry it took so long. I've been busy with job requirements. Haha! Thank you for all the reviews, the mail, the PM's and the IM's. I love you, guys! If you have any suggestions about the "Meet the (angry, to-defile you) parent" for Ken'ichi and Uryuu, I'm open to it.

Cheerios, Cookies and Bankai to us all!


	4. What Quincy Arrows Chase After

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 4 : What ** **Quincy**** Arrows Chase After **

* * *

Ryu loved all this. His sister was staring annoyingly at him and Ken'ichi was not saying anything but Ryu knew — and so well, too — that these two were nearly at his mercy if not totally. This little secret was most interesting and very, very useful for the Quincy son and he had yet thought of what to do with it but whatever it was he would be doing, it would be for his advantage, which was understandable.

"Otousan will kill your boyfriend." Ryu said as he threw himself on the bed. Yui scowled, perhaps reluctant if not annoyed that Ken'ichi was being referred to as "her boyfriend" but she said nothing even as that small pink hue came up to her cheeks.

"And you broke Hideki's little heart,too." Ryu added.  
"I did, huh?" Ken'ichi leaned on the table and crossed his arms, "He wasn't supposed to be sneaking into my room in the first place."

"Actually, you weren't supposed to be doing _that_ in your room or wherever else to begin with." Ryu commented without moving from his position and earned a small random sound from Ken'ichi. Ryu let the silence remain for a while before saying, "Your little sister is the problem here, though."

Ken'ichi paused. Yui gasped.

"If you were in such an engrossed state to be unable to sense Hideki then let's not get started with Mai's natural talent." Ryu continued.

True.

"That girl could make it to Special Corps." Ken'ichi said thoughtfully and Yui nodded though she doubted that _daddy_ would even let her set foot on the war zone with even the lowest of Pluses. Aside from her Zanpakutou, Ichigo would probably throw her in a Kevlar vest and helmet. But even before anyone could say anything, there was a large surge of familiar reiatsu coming from Rukia's gift shop. Ken'ichi pushed himself off the table in surprise while Yui straightened and Ryu immediately got up.

"Ohhh dear…" Yui's hand came to her mouth.

"You mean uh-oh." Ryu corrected and looked at Ken'ichi who gulped. That better be a Hollow or something else provoking Ishida Uryuu. Ryu immediately sat down and signaled them to return to their previous positions and the two obliged. It was hard trying to relax when an aggravated Quincy father was after you.

Was he going to die?

Well, his life wasn't flashing in front of him yet so would that be a no?

No.

"Uryuu, if you break any of my walls I'm—!" That was Ichigo's voice and Ken'ichi gasped. He could not hear the footsteps but he was dead sure that the adults were coming. If anything, he could feel them and the strong angry reiatsu that Ishida Uryuu was _intentionally_ making him feel. To scare him? It was really working.

"HOLD IT! DON'T BREAK MY SON'S DOOR!"  
"YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO KNOCK, DO YOU!?"  
"ACTUALLY, YES!"

Tok! Tok! Tok!

"Kii-chan…" Rukia's voice was calm and soft but Ishida-daddy's reiatsu was definitely making him feel otherwise.  
"Hai?" Ken'ichi replied and got up to walk towards the door. It was hard trying not to swallow while trying to breathe normally.

CLACK!

The door opened but even before Ken'ichi could see what was beyond it, Uryuu immediately pushed it open and Ken'ichi had to step back to save his self from a broken nose.

"What is going on?" Uryuu immediately asked the boy and scanned the whole room. Yui's coat was tied around her waist. Ken'ichi's gray uniform was on but unbuttoned. Ryu was calmly sitting on the bed and all of his clothes were on.

Was there anything wrong?

"Relax, four eyes." Ichigo's large hand landed on Uryuu's shoulder and nodded towards the bed, "Your son's here, too."  
"AAAAAAAAAH! WAS IT A THREESOME!?" Orihime shrieked and covered her face with her hands.  
"NO!" The three yelled back.   
"Where did I go wroooooong!" Orihime wailed again and immediately flung her arms around a blinking Rukia.   
"OKASAN!" Ryu was pleading for his incest-free dignity and Yui was visibly cringing.

Ichigo rolled his eyes away. Uryuu did not say anything and looked at Ken'ichi who was blinking dumbly. Rukia was muttering something to Orihime who immediately pulled away and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, it wasn't a threesome." Rukia sighed and smiled wanly. Orihime released a sigh of relief and reverted back to her usual self.  
"Well…" Uryuu adjusted his glasses and stepped towards Ken'ichi who was strictly instructing his mind not to command his body to jump out the window. Uryuu looked at the boy and said, "So was it just the both of you?"

_Yes, sir and it was good, sir._

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ken'ichi replied immediately. It was the first thing that came to his mind. Denial was the only option now because if he admitted that he gave Yui several rounds of heaven, he was as good as Quincy-made Swiss cheese. Actually, he felt like he was going to be one eventually especially now that Uryuu was glaring threateningly at him.

Ken'ichi should kiss his intact limbs goodbye if he had to.

"Stop harassing my son. Sheesh…!" Ichigo scratched his head heavily.  
"I'm not harassing your son!" Uryuu glared at the father, "Your son harassed my daughter!"  
"I did _not_!" Ken'ichi shot back.

_If you saw everything, SHE was trying to harass ME, too!_

Actually, _he_ was the one who was trying so hard not to hurt her but she was so insistent that he let loose a bit — a bit of a wild side. Seriously, Yui was very, very different in bed. She was not wild but she was a bit feisty and rather thirsty, hard to satiate. But she moaned so well. Her touch was so fiery. If she suggested using ropes and cuffs in the near future, he wouldn't be so surprised.

"No, really, Otousan." Ryu scratched his head innocently, "What _are_ you talking about?"

Ryu was not a sadist. He did not want to get Yui and Ken'ichi into more trouble since that would end his fun. He couldn't blackmail any of them if the adults learned about their… escapades. And that would be no fun at all so if Ryu wanted to be entertained for a while, he should learn how to keep secrets.

Secrets were _very_ pricey.

Uryuu looked at Ryu and then at Yui.

"Yui-chan." Orihime began as she walked towards her daughter, "What happened?"  
"I don't understand." Yui shook her head, "Was there anything that's supposed to happen?"

Rukia sighed heavily. They weren't getting any answers if it continued to be like this. It wasn't like either of the two would just say, "Hey, dad, we copulated." If anything, they should ask questions with the fewest possible answers…

Yes-No Questions.

"Ken'ichi." Rukia was speaking in her low and serious Shinigami voice, "Were you doing something with Yui?"  
"Yeah. Doing Physics homework." Ken'ichi pointed to the active computer.

_Some hot physics._

Ken'ichi was inwardly reorienting himself. He better not get an erection in this situation or he was _so_ done for… tenfold!

"Son, I have to be honest. Mai said she saw you without clothes and that you were kissing with Yui. Is that true?" Ichigo said and put his hands on his waist, "You _better_ not lie to me, Ken'ichi."

Ichigo's eyes were narrowed towards his son. Ryu's eyes changed in expression. So Hideki did not make it to Mai before she got to Ichigo. Ken'ichi was in big trouble. Could Mai have told anything to their father? Darn his little sister's unknowing stealth. What could she have seen and how could she have interpreted it? Should Ken'ichi say Mai was lying? Oh, but the tangerine princess did know how to lie and if Ken'ichi accused her of lying, her dad-in-Shinigami-armor would most probably decompose him using mere reiatsu. Kurosaki Mai was _too honest_ for her own good!

Ichigo had told Hideki to take Mai to their room because they "must not intervene and hear anything regarding adult stuff". Ichigo was not going to have to gouge out his children's eyes if they ever stepped in the room while Ken'ichi and Yui (or whoever else) were giving it a go.

"Kurosaki-san…" Ryu raised his hand, "I—"  
"He's not talking to you, Ryu." Ishida Uryuu was talking to Ryu but was looking at Ken'ichi, "Now answer it, boy."  
"Otousan!" Yui frowned, "That's very impolite!"  
"No, Yui. _That_ is impolite." Uryuu had not peeled his gaze off Ken'ichi, "Now answer the question."

Could this be multiple choice? Could he use a life line? Could he just say pass? It was the longest five seconds of Ken'ichi's life. His mouth opened without knowing what to say and without knowing what would happen to him after whatever it is that he was going to say. Rukia and Ichigo were looking at him. Orihime was merely waiting as she held on to her daughter's arm. Ishida Uryuu was already using his eyes to kill him and his reiatsu to suffocate him. How the hell was he supposed to answer when he was being tensioned like this!

"MY GRANDSON IS A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Holy shit! That was his grandfather!

IMPENDING DOOM!

A blur whizzed from the door, past the four parents and straight towards Ken'ichi who was immediately bound by two arms. Ken'ichi wanted to cringe and then cry. That statement from his grandfather was really, really disturbing and did not help with the current situation he was trying to get himself out of. Yui was inwardly praying for the old man to just collapse and Ryu was looking at how else he could benefit from this situation without jeopardizing his sister, his best friend and his entertainment as well as the welfare of Karakura Town regarding the possibility of his father pulling out an M16 Quincy Ballista in Bankai out of nowhere.

"Ojiisan!" Ken'ichi gasped but was too distracted to struggle properly.  
"I'm so happy, Ken'ichi!" Isshin was crying, "You finally turned into a man!"

He better not be talking about "stripped of sexual innocence".

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Ichigo and Ken'ichi chorused and the orange-haired father kicked off the large man that was choking Ken'ichi to death. Isshin tumbled away and Yui had to side-step to avoid the body that was going to hit her if she was slower. With much ease, Isshin regained composure in mid-air and kicked off from the wall to propel his self forward. His feet landed heavily on the floor and he skidded towards Yui who gasped as the old man's large hands landed on her shoulders.

"Was it with you?"

Yui gasped again.

"LET GO OF HER!" This time, Uryuu chorused with the Kurosaki father-and-son. Isshin's head turned towards Ken'ichi and in an instant, he was beside his grandson.

Yui's heart wanted to burst in anticipation. Why was she getting the hint that Kurosaki Isshin had an idea about her connection with Ken'ichi? She sent Ryu a glance but her twin brother shrugged.

"Pops, we are in the middle of something important here!" Ichigo complained and Rukia sighed heavily.   
"Ken'ichi, my grandson, I am so _proud_ of you!" Isshin's streaming tears was freaking out the boy who was trying to pull away from his grandfather's strong arm around his shoulders. Ken'ichi just wished Isshin would shut up and go away.   
"You, unlike your father, are free-willed, spirited, outgoing and adventurous!" Isshin slapped Ken'ichi's back, "I'm proud, grandson!"  
"What are you talking about?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.  
"Silence, Ichigo! When you were sixteen, I thought you were _gay_!" Isshin pointed at Ichigo, "But at least my grandson has proven to me that he is a man! Man enough not to keep a girl in his closet!"

Rukia gasped.

"Why you old—"  
"Oh, I didn't know what to do when I felt Rukia's faint reiatsu in your closet one night!" Isshin was sniffing in reminiscence and Ichigo shivered in embarrassment.  
"Stop that!"  
"Faint reiatsu?" Uryuu raised an eyebrow at Ichigo, "You made Ken'ichi in a closet?"

GAH! Ken'ichi wanted to plug his ears. He had no intentions of having yet another sex ed session with these people and he definitely did not want to find out which pages of the Kama Sutra involved his conception or anyone else's for that matter!

"_Excuse me_!?" Ichigo grabbed Ishida by the collar, "I'm _sorry _but my first night was on a _futon,_ in Sereitei and in the Kuchiki Mansion no less!"  
"Sure." Uryuu pried Ichigo's fingers off his clothes.  
"Oh, and what's _your_ excuse for doing something in the storage room?" Ichigo put his hands on his waist.  
"That's below the belt, Shinigami!"  
"Back at you, Quincy!"  
"I can't believe Ryuken and I were supposed to marry the two of you off…" Isshin shook his head thoughtlessly.  
"SHUT UP, OLD MAN!" the two men chorused.

Without further ado, Isshin grabbed Ken'ichi by the arm and began searching the boy. Ken'ichi shivered and began swatting his grandfather who was giving him a thorough body search. Yui wanted to pull her hair in aggravation while Ken'ichi just wanted his grandfather to just get out of his room so that he may resume to lying, er, clearing his name and insisting on his virginity, which no longer existed (but he wasn't going to say that).

"AHA!" Isshin yelled triumphantly with two hands on his waist. Ken'ichi had now reasonably fled to his mother's side for sanctuary. He felt so _violated_! That was the last time his grandfather was going to "semi-harass" him whether or not it was intentional.

"I'm very _sorry_, Kurosaki-san, but I'm in the middle of getting to the bottom of something and…" Uryuu was getting impatient.  
"No, wait, Uryuu. I want to know what the aha was for." Orihime waved at Uryuu to be quiet as she looked at Isshin.  
"Thank you." Isshin smiled at the ginger-haired woman.  
"You're welcome." Orihime smiled sweetly, innocently and dumbly.

"You used it, didn't you?" Isshin's nostrils flared at Ken'ichi.

"U-used what?" Ken'ichi was gripping his mother's shoulders and was trying to hide behind her small body. What was he talking about? Used what? What could he possibly use to prove… his… manhood…?

There was an inward pause.

No, his grandfather couldn't be talking about _that_!

"Pops, can you just _spit it out_!" Ichigo glared at his father.   
"In your _face_, Ichigo!" Isshin leaped beside his son and began to move around like an excited jellyfish, "Unlike you, I gave the boy protection!"

Yui gasped. There was a small "owie" from Ryu. Ken'ichi wanted to bang his head on his door. Orihime and Rukia exchanged looks as Ichigo's eyes widened in contrary to Uryuu's that _narrowed_.

Protection.

That did NOT sound right.

"Ojiisaaaan…!"   
"Don't worry, boy, it is okay and normal!" Isshin clapped and laughed boisterously, "In this new generation, it is more than all right to try new things in the new wave of experience, youth and…"   
"GET IT OVER WITH, YOU OLD FART!" Ichigo pointed at his father.  
"Be grateful, you!" Isshin glared at Ichigo, "I have even left you the opportunity to teach him how to use it!"

Oh, no! Stop talking!

"Use what!" Uryuu and Ichigo gasped.

Ken'ichi was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to be rid of his life, happiness and youth! He could feel his soul trying to shunpo out of his doomed body!

"Why _this_, of course!" Isshin pulled out something from his pocked and held it up in the air. Ken'ichi was the only one who did not look up at the small packet between the old Shinigami's fingers. He suppressed a groan and did not look as Ichigo's eyes widened and Uryuu's gaze shot like a Quincy arrow through Ken'ichi. Rukia was saying something but Ken'ichi wasn't listening. Or rather, he was too busy sorting out his options to hear.

"Noodle flavoring?" Orihime tilted her head. Yui slapped her forehead.

If this woman wasn't her mother, Yui would probably label her "ginger-haired blockhead".

"No, dear, Ishida Orihime!" Isshin announced proudly, "Your ignorance of this means you have never used it before…"  
"Actually, it looks familiar but Uryuu has his ways." Orihime shrugged.  
"YOU HAVE A PERVERTED GRANDSON!" Uryuu stormed towards Ken'ichi who immediately replied, "I'm not perverted!"

"Just exactly…" Rukia began, "What _is_ that, Otousan?"  
"Oh?" Isshin blinked and lowered his hand, "So you and Ichigo don't use this, too?"  
"I BEG YOUR PARDON!" Ichigo glared, "But what does anything about our sex life have anything to do with you!"

"Well, this explains Mai and Hideki." Isshin rubbed his chin and Ichigo was about to resort to send his father's nose cartilage up to his brain if Rukia did not stop him. Isshin just shrugged and said, "Anyway, this baby was designed by Urahara Kisuke himself…!"

"Urahara-san _designs_ contraceptives?" Ryu was raising an eyebrow. To him, it just might have been the most ridiculous thing he had ever asked but judging by Urahra's "creativity", well, possibilities are _endless_.

"This thing is included in the male Shinigami Academy student's starter kit!" Isshin said as he waved the disturbing little pack, "It encourages free-spirits and safe se—"

"Why the _crap_ would a school give out _contraceptives_ in starter kits!?" Ichigo asked in disbelief.

"Well, for one, you idiot, Shinigami live for like _thousands_ of years, you know." Isshin looked at Ichigo as if the son was the stupidest person in the room, "What, you think none of them are meant to get laid?"

"Ken'ichi!" Isshin nodded and tossed the small packet at the boy who caught it a bit clumsily. Ken'ichi did not feel like holding it at all especially in front of his mother.

What came after that was gross, horrific and downright perverted.

"Open it and put it on." Isshin said.  
"WHAT!?" Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.

Open it was one thing but _put it on_ was definitely another! Ken'ichi was still in his proper mind not to humiliate himself in his own room! Ryu was stifling a laugh and Ken'ichi made a mental note to remind his self to kill Ryu later.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!?" Ichigo was about to grab the packet from Ken'ichi but Isshin strangled Ichigo on the floor.  
"Listen to me, boy!" Isshin was looking up at Ken'ichi as his other hand pinned Ichigo's head so that the _floor_ muffled everything he said.

"This is not getting us anywhere." Ishida Uryuu grunted and rubbed his forehead as he watched Ichigo kiss the floor. Ken'ichi gasped and was considering on opening it before the Quincy father thought of getting matters into his own hands.

"I SAID OPEN IT OR DO I HAVE TO USE MY BANKAI ON YOU, BOY!?" Isshin glared and aimed to hit Ken'ichi who immediately yet reluctantly gripped the packet. He was just going to _open_ it and nothing. If his grandfather wanted to _wear_ it then he could do it himself!

No harm in opening it, right?

Right.

Ken'ichi sighed and began to open it…

"Huh?"

… But couldn't.

"It won't open." Ken'ichi said as he continued to try ripping the packet open, "It… It won't open!"  
"Of course, it won't, you idiot!" Isshin growled, "You can't open it."  
"GET OFF ME, BEARDY!" Ichigo pushed his father off him and got up.

Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow. How was that possible? He just opened and _used_ one a while ago… Shit, he even had to resort to withdrawal after that since he had no extra. Something was not right.

"Are you wondering why you can't use this one but used the other one?" Isshin was smiling naughtily and when Ken'ichi did not answer, he continued, "Because only virgins can open it."

"Wha…?" Ken'ichi's jaw was unscrewing itself.

"It's a starter kit, I tell ya." Isshin nodded in pride, "It lets stupid, nervous virgins not have a hard time opening it and wearing it… That's what it's for."

BULL'S EYE!

Kurosaki Isshin was the doom of both his son and grandson!

And why the hell did Urahara make a contraceptive that only virgins can open, darn it!

"Isn't Urahara a genius?" Isshin laughed.

No! Urahara Kisuke and Kurosaki Isshin were both _venom_!

Ken'ichi's whole body ached for some reason and Yui froze right on the spot. Ryu had his mouth _very_ wide open and Ichigo's back hit the wall in surprise. Rukia slowly turned to Ken'ichi as Orihime muttered random things.

And Ishida Uryuu?

Ishida had already snatched the small packet and was immediately beside his daughter.

"O-Otousan?" Yui blinked.  
"Open it." The father instructed.  
"What?"  
"I said open it." Ishida insisted on the packet. Yui did not move.  
"Yui."

No response. The girl continued to stare.

"I don't see why I should." Yui said flatly and Uryuu's eyes widened.  
"Since when did you learn to talk back, Ishida Yui!" Uryuu glared.  
"Yui, just think of it as noodle flavoring." Orihime said happily as she took the pack in her fingers, "And tear it off."  
"Okasan, no matter how hard I try, it is _not_ noodle flavoring." Yui said irritatingly, "It's _gross_. I won't get anything slimy in my hands."

Uryuu paused and contemplated. Yui's eyes were not wavering and all of a sudden, Uryuu gripped her arm. Before the girl could say anything, Uryuu drew out a thin, blue needle of reiatsu and punctured Yui by the neck. Yui winced and felt something hot on the back of her head. She was about to garb it to somehow try to alleviate the pain but her father swatted her hand away.

"O-otousan!" Ryu got up from the bed upon seeing his sister wince and Ken'ichi was about to motion towards her but Ichigo stopped him. Yui bit her lip and Uryuu frowned before shoving the hair off the back of her neck.

His eyes widened.

Yui was still wincing at the burning sensation but said nothing as her father continued to stare.

"O-Otousan?" Ryu started towards his sister and looked at what his father was gaping at.

A small blue cross.

"A blue cross?" Ryu blinked.  
"A what?" Yui managed to say, "What is it? What does it mean?"  
"It means…" Uryuu began and released his daughter and allowed her to straighten, "If you hadn't been _touched_, this would've been nothing but a blue asterisk."   
"WHAT!?" Yui backed from her father and touched the back of her neck, "T-that… That's…!"  
"The mark of a virgin Quincy is not on you."

Ryu immediately grabbed the back of his neck. Wow, their clan even had virginity detectors. Was he about to freak out? What the hell was that for to begin with? Who would even _think_ about devising a technique like that? Who knew reiatsu could react to virginity issues!

Someone was going to die.

Ken'ichi swallowed hard.

Countdown start: Three. Two. One.

"ICHIGO, YOUR SON IS A PERVERT!" Uryuu immediately pulled out a bow. Ichigo did not respond and continued to gape at his son who was praying for Aizen to come down from the chipped sky so as to save him from the doom that was Ishida Uryuu, Yui's father.

"URYUU, WAIT!" Ichigo drew Zangetsu, "NOT IN HERE!"  
"Your son and my daughter did it _in here_!" Uryuu glared at the orange-haired Shinigami.

"I'd say they have taste." Orihime nodded thoughtfully as she rubbed her chin, "I'd rather have them do it here than in the storage room, don't you think?"

"KUROSAKI KEN'ICHI!" Uryuu glared and Isshin immediately grabbed his grandson and used the Shinigami badge on him. A flabbergasted Ken'ichi stared at the giant Quincy bow that was right about to fire when his grandfather shouted, "SHUNPO, IDIOT!"

In a moment, Ken'ichi was gone and several arrows shot through the air and through the door and wall before Uryuu disappeared as well. Ichigo cursed at the _large_ hole that used to be a bedroom door.

"URYUU, I SAID ST—"

Before Ichigo could finish, Ken'ichi's bedroom window was no more. Ken'ichi sped out of it and Uryuu went after him.

"STOP DESTROYING MY HOUSE!" Ichigo positioned to shunpo after them and his voice trailed as he disappeared, "MONEY DOESN'T COME OUT FROM MY ASS, YOU FREAKS!"

Rukia merely slapped her forehead before sending a glance towards Orihime. She better reject the damage her Quincy husband bestowed upon the house.

"Didn't it hurt, Yui-chan?" Orihime asked her daughter innocently. 

"Okasan!" Yui shrieked with her beet red hue and Ryu just wanted to plug his ears but dared not move before he was asked to open that stupid packet in no time. Not that he couldn't open it but he did not want to degrade himself by opening something so gross in front of everyone. Ryu glanced at his sister who's sanity seemed to be in a greater disaster than Ken'ichi's room.

Maybe he should get to work.

Ryu looked at the calamity he was going to reverse and took a deep breath.

"Sonten Kisshun!"  
"Ryu." Orihime turned to her son, "Are you gay?"

And, no, he was not gay.

"I REJECT!"

This was going to take some time.

**- **End of Part 4** -**

* * *

Author: I'm late. Sorry, something came up. Hope you like it, though! This chap took like four revisions before I could get it right so I hope it's worth it.

Cheerios, Cookies and Bankai to us all!


	5. Not Good

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 5 : Not Good**

* * *

Thin smoke came out of Ryuken's partly open mouth after breathing out from his well-deserved cigarette break after a painstaking surgical operation that took hours to finish. He was close to swearing that if it took an hour more, he'd be expecting a Shinigami to perform konsoh for the poor soul on the table. He was leaning forward on the balcony as he tried occupying his mind by looking at the sluggish-paced movement of the clouds. He put the cigarette back in his mouth and looked as a bird flew across the white fluffy mass in the sky.

And then it jarred him — Ishida Uryuu's raging reiatsu and something else that was trying to hide from it. Ryuken looked to his left. They were coming towards the hospital. Judging by how Uryuu's reiatsu was running wilder than an insane man on drugs. There was also someone else, ah, wait, yes, Kurosaki Isshin's son, Ichigo, who was most probably lost in finding reiatsu considering his was going wild as well.

Wow, they could very much attract Hollows with those.

Ryuken sighed. If Uryuu would reach the hospital then it would be more likely that a lot of people would land on the ICU due to an inexplicable case called "reiatsu suffocation". Ryuken looked left and then right and rubbed his forehead before taking out a small silver bottle out of his pocket. Ryuken ran his thumb against the small ridged cover on the bottle and looked to his empty right.

A few seconds.

Three, two, one…

Now.

There was a flash of black. Ryuken tossed the silver bottle and a bluish net of reiatsu shot out and ate the boy in Shinigami garb.

"Gah!" Ken'ichi exclaimed but Ryuken immediately grabbed him by the shoulders and left with a Hirenkyaku.

Ken'ichi grunted and stopped himself from screaming as he looked up at the white-haired Quincy who was dragging him away. Where was Ishida Ryuken going to take him? Perhaps he learned about him and Yui and was now going to kill him before Ishida Uryuu could? Ken'ichi had never missed his father like he did now and he prayed _so hard_ that his Shinigami Daikou of a father would come _rescue_ him this instant. Heck, if Chappy the Bunny would be his savior, he really wouldn't mind!

"Hey." Ryuken said as they sped in what looked like a series of blurs.  
"I… I can explain, sir! I love your granddaughter, sir, and I'm going to marry her if you—ACK!"

Ryuken came to a pause and dropped Ken'ichi on the ground. Ken'ichi grunted again and looked around. It was a closed, dark chamber. How did they get there so fast without him realizing it?

"So that's what it is?" Ryuken threw off his cigarette, "You were messing around with Yui and now Uryuu's after you?"  
"Huh?" Ken'ichi looked dazed, "You're not going to kill me, sir?"  
"Kill you?" Ryuken raised an eyebrow and the reiatsu net dispersed around Ken'ichi who remained sitting on the soul-synthesized floor, "If I wanted to do that, I could've just slit your throat rather than waste any effort capturing you."

Ken'ichi grabbed his neck. The man had a point.

"Then…" Ken'ichi began as he looked around, "What are we doing here?"  
"This is a training chamber." Ryuken began as he searched his pocket, "It's made out of soul-synthesized material so Uryuu won't be able to sense you."

Ken'ichi blinked dumbly.

So he wasn't going to die… yet?

"Th-thank you, sir… But may I… ask why?"

Ryuken paused and looked at Ken'ichi and replied, "Because I don't want Uryuu to kill my patients while trying to kill you, that's why."

Ken'ichi gulped as he watched Ryuken take out a cigarette and stick it in his mouth and wondered how Yui was doing.

Not good.

How did it start? Did it hurt? How did you start? Who was on top? Who did most of the work? Did you scream? How loud? Did you bite something? Who heard you? Did he use protec— oh, yes, he did. Did you bite him? How often did you say his name?

Orihime had probed her with all those questions _in front_ of Rukia and her brother. It was very hard trying to answer any of those questions and she felt like she was telepathically screaming at Ryu to _save_ her from mortification and ruin. All Ryu had to do was clear his throat nonchalantly and his mother immediately turned her attention to him. And that really wasn't a good thing.

Yui was shaking out of embarrassment as she avoided glancing or even just turning towards the direction of Rukia who was still in the room as Yui rejected all the damages in Ken'ichi's room. It was _her_ job, according to her Okasan, since Ken'ichi-kun was _her_ boyfriend and the damage was caused by _their_ "affair" to begin with. It was okay if she had to reject the damages but the problem was Ken'ichi's Shinigami mother was in the same room. The petite lady had been looking around the room and perhaps it was paranoia on Yui's part that she thought that Rukia was glancing at her to study her.

Oh, shoot. So _this_ was guilt.

If Ryu had been here then… Wait, how was Ryu doing? Well, Ryu was not excused (regardless of his participation or lack thereof) and so, he was doing just like everyone else.

Not good.

"Okasan, please…" Ryu sighed heavily out of impatience and embarrassment. Orihime to him to the bathroom and began interrogating him after excusing themselves from Rukia and strictly instructing Yui to do repair work. Honestly, he'd rather reject the damages, take care of the children and heck, and cook dinner instead of having his mother's "talk". She was staring at him like he had done something wrong when, in fact, he had done nothing at all. It was not like he pushed Yui and Ken'ichi into a relationship. He also did not make any move to drive both of them to erotica heaven. And he definitely wasn't the one who fueled Ken'ichi's erection if that's what his mother meant.

"I'm okay, Okasan. I'm not gay." Ryu said as he leaned on the sink.  
"But your sister is not a virgin anymore." Orihime said rather innocently for a mother, "And you still are. Why is that?"

Why is that? What kind of a question was that? Was virginity a _sin_ at the age of sixteen?

Ryu felt a giant block spelling "dissipate" fall on his whole persona. If he could flush himself away from this situation, he would — no matter how gross it seemed. Kurosaki Isshin was too talkative for the sake of the world around him and he never thought he would be thankful to have a mind-your-own-business grandfather such as Ishida Ryuken.

"Okasaaaan…" Ryu's head tilted back in a prolonged sound of complaint as his mother inched towards him and continued blinking. She made it sound like being a sixteen year-old virgin was wrong. What? Were virgins tied and burned at the stake?

"Doesn't it bother you?" Orihime asked.  
"No, Okasan." Ryu looked at his mother, "It doesn't bother me."  
"Not at all?"  
"Not at all."  
"Not even a tiny bit?"

Ryu opened his mouth to answer but paused. Come to think of it, he actually thought it was unfair that he didn't even have a girlfriend. For all he knew, a great percentage of the school's female population was willing to bargain a lot in chase of him, his looks, his love, his body, his virginity and his mortal Quincy soul. For some reason, he was not interested at them at all probably because they had been pushing themselves to him and that was just a total turn off. Yes, perhaps he was a tad bit bothered and envious.

He started to wonder whether his father ever received the same treatment. After that comment about the "storage room", Ryu figured that his parents did something really naughty in a closed, dark, secret place… that didn't remain to be so secret in the end. But was it because his father had to be experienced at such a young age?

Somebody enlighten him, please.

"Ryu." Orihime caught his attention and Ryu stopped himself from groaning as he saw his mother open her mouth to say something that was _definitely_ ridiculous… again.

"Are you interested in men?"

See?

"NO!"

_Honestly, Okasan, which part of "I am NOT gay" did you not understand?_

"Ryu, why don't you have a girlfriend?"

To Orihime, she was just concerned. To Ryu, his mother was overreacting. Girlfriends were not necessarily part of the college prerequisite list and Ryu was definitely sure.

"I'm not interested in any of them _yet_, Okasan." Ryu said coolly, "Time will come."  
"But you're sixteen!" her voice piped sheerly, "Aren't you interested in _anyone_?"

Ryu did not answer just because he did not felt like repeating his words. If he opened his mouth now, he would probably explode in aggravation, which was rare. But now that his sexuality was being questioned, it was understandable why he had a little annoyed voice in his head, right?

"Not anyone in school?"

He shook his head.

"In the neighborhood?"

Same response.

"Actresses?"  
"Okasan, I hate showbiz."

"Don't you have any guy magazines?" Orihime looked like she was trying to find hope in her son. Ryu wanted to groan again. He was _not_ a cancer patient, darn it. Saying he wanted to groan was an understatement because right now he just wanted to release half-a-wail and speed out of the door to cast the save-my-dignity-and-defend-my-virginity tri-link shield upon him and his life. Why would he even show male things to his mom? Was that mandatory? Would she shut up if he told her he was gay regardless if it were a lie? But if he did, it would ruin his future reputation both in this life and the after life. God, his father and grandfather would probably consume him and turn him into an arrow for it!

"Orihime."

The mother-and-son looked towards the closed door as three knocks made its way to their senses. Ryu pushed himself away from the sink and twisted the knob to open the door and revealed none other than Kurosaki Rukia.

"Rukia…!" Orihime walked towards the door and Ryu stepped away.  
"Yui seems to be distracted."

Spark of hope for Ishida Ryu! Resilience must kick in and _now_!

"I'll go help her reject everything!" Ryu immediately said and sped out of the room even before Rukia could say anything else. Orihime opened her mouth to call after him but the boy had his Hirenkyaku kicking in.

Rukia blinked at Ryu's back and Orihime pouted before muttering something. Rukia was raising an eyebrow. Perhaps Orihime had driven her son into a state of self-embarrassment… again.

"Rukia…" Orihime sighed as she crossed her arms, "Do you think my son is gay?"  
"W-what?" Rukia blinked at her, "R-Ryu? Gay?"

"Yes." Orihime said as she thoughtfully looked at the spot where Ryu had been standing and she sighed again, as if thoroughly hopeless. Rukia allowed her to muse on quietly, as she had never really come to fully understand how Orihime's mind works.

"Ryu has no girlfriend and he has not been showing interest in women at all."  
"Well, Ken'ichi was the same." Rukia said thoughtfully, "And then this."  
"But still, it bothers me." Orihime replied, looking at Rukia, "He doesn't even have those for-boys-only magazines…"  
"Boys… only?" Rukia blinked dumbly.  
"Yes… You know… The ones with naked women and sexual positions and experiences and pictures and…" Orihime gestured, "Ichigo must have those, you know."

"M-Must?" Rukia was now being bothered if not horrified. Why would her husband want magazines containing pictures of naked women… other than herself? Knowing him, he was not a pervert and definitely not interested in other women. But Orihime sounded so sure. Perhaps it was one of her misunderstood ideas again? Great, the ginger-haired lady was getting to her Shinigami resolve! Rukia gulped and grabbed Orihime by the wrist and pushed her inside the bathroom as she gasped.

"Rukia?"  
"Orihime, are you certain that all men have these so-called magazines?" Rukia still hadn't let go of Orihime's arm.  
"Well… Unless they're gay?"  
"So you mean Ken'ichi and Ichigo have them?" Rukia drew closer.  
"Um… Uryuu has them so yes… I guess."

Ishida Uryuu had those? That cold and silent Quincy looked at pictures of naked women other than his wife? Wasn't that supposed to be adulterous or something? Or wasn't it offending to Orihime?

"He… Your husband…"  
"Yes, we actually read it together."

Rukia gasped. Well, now! Who could Ichigo be reading his naughty magazines with! Definitely not her!

Why would Ichigo hide it from her? Wait, was Ichigo actually hiding something from her?

"With whom could Ken'ichi be sharing his?" Rukia blurted out and Orihime's eyes grew wide.

Conclusion!

"Oh, he could be sharing it with Ryu!" Orihime grabbed Rukia's hands, "Maybe that's why Ryu has no magazines in his room because Ken'ichi keeps their collections to steer him out of trouble! Oh, my son is not gay!"

"I haven't seen any of those magazines in the house."

Orihime's happy face wore out.

"You haven't?"

Rukia shook her head. But Kurosaki Ken'ichi was _not_ gay. So perhaps, he had been hiding it. Yes, that was it. And maybe, Ken'ichi and Ichigo were in this together and hopefully, the boy was keeping his father's collection… Why the hell would Ichigo have to hide that collection from her? First off, did it really exist in the house? If it didn't then would that mean Ichigo and Ken'ichi were gay? Hell, no. But would that mean Ryu was not hiding any magazines in the Kurosaki household?

Nothing was making sense. That was kind of normal since Orihime was part of the equation but still…

"Maybe we should look for it." The two women chorused and with a determined look, they nodded heavily.

"Just to make sure?" Rukia wanted some reassurance that she wasn't doing anything stupid.  
"Yes, just to make sure." Orihime nodded.

---

"URYUU!" Ichigo was running in his Shinigami body around Karakura Town as he sprinted after the Quincy father who was out to make a smelly carcass out of his son. Down through the large Hollow went Zangetsu. That was the fifth one now and Ichigo could see Ishida fire at another Hollow that was after him.

"URYUU!"

Ichigo could catch up effortlessly with shunpo if he had not been so annoyed with the Hollows after them.

"Hey, Uryuu! Let's talk!" Ichigo called after the Quincy.  
"I'm only talking to your _son_, Ichigo!" Uryuu replied without even looking at the orange-haired Shinigami, "And by that I mean _violence_!"  
"Come on, we can't even _feel_ him any longer!" Ichigo complained and flash-stepped beside him, "For all we know, something must have happened to my son."  
"Well, something _will_ happen to him eventually when I get my hands on him." Uryuu glared as he looked at Ichigo's hand that landed on his shoulder, "He'd better have himself killed by a Hollow than a Quincy arrow."  
"That's not funny."  
"I wasn't joking."

WHAP!

Ichigo's hand met the back of Uryuu's head and the Quincy immediately glared and pulled out Seele Schneider to teach the Shinigami a lesson. Ichigo glared and immediately kicked into Bankai upon seeing the "large arrow that looks like a sword" coming at him.

"What was the slap for!" Uryuu glared through his glasses, "Do you want me to tear a _hole_ through you!"  
"You were being so _stupid_!" Ichigo shot back as he pushed his large weapon against Uryuu's.  
"_You're_ being unreasonable!"

Ichigo grunted and leaped away from Uryuu who merely looked at him.

"Look, I want to find Ken'ichi as much as you do because I _need_ to talk to him about this and…"  
"You raised a pervert!" Ishida pointed with Seele Schneider.  
"I did _not_!"

"Oh, ara, what do we have here?"

Both Shinigami and Quincy looked to one side and saw none other than Mr. Sandal-Hat himself, Urahara Kisuke sitting on a tree branch.

"I was wondering about the reiatsu burst and here I find two bickering fathers." Urahara fixed the hat on his head, "What seems to be the matter?"  
"You really had to ask?" Uryuu asked rather seriously.  
"May I interest you in tranquilizers?" Urahara replied with a smile and the Quincy's eyebrow twitched.

"Actually, you can start by explaining…" Ichigo sighed heavily, paused and glared with reiatsu burst, "WHY THE HELL DID YOU SELL STUPID CONTRACEPTIVES TO MY ASS-HAT OF A FATHER!"

Urahara's robe flapped as he held onto his hat to prevent it from being blown off. My, the Shinigami Daikou was angry and so was the Quincy… judging by that cold, sharp glare. Isshin had probably done something so stupid again and Urahara had to get himself out of this mess.

Like he could.

"Oh, but you don't question the customer. It's a human rights violation."  
"My father is not human!" Ichigo pointed angrily, "You just played a crucial role in devirginizing my son!"  
"And deflowering my daughter." Uryuu added.

Urahara's eyes grew wide. Why was it being blamed on him? Not like he gave them_the_ Kama Sutra! Besides, it was not his fault that Kurosaki Isshin gave the rubber to his grandson who was bothered by his hormones enough to make the Quincy girl's erotic meter go up. The way Ichigo and Uryuu spoke made it seem that Urahara just jumped into a threesome with Ken'ichi and Yui… which he didn't. Even if someone paid him to, he wouldn't.

"I am neither a pedophile nor a homosexual if that is what you mean." Urahara said quietly and rather disturbed as he cleared his throat, "I do not intend to get into sexual relationships with people who are _way_ younger than I am."

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. Uryuu adjusted his glasses.

"And have you even heard of the song about this?" Urahara asked jovially.  
"What song?"

Uryuu slapped his forehead. Ichigo just _had_ to ask something that only had a stupid answer. Urahara's smile made that so clear.

"I'm too sexy for your kids… Too sexy for your kids… Too sexy for…"

"OH HOLY SHIT, SHUT UP!" Ichigo was seriously considering on sending an angry and annoyed as well as freaked out Getsuga Tenshou at the self-proclaimed shop keeper who was actually slightly swaying to his own tune. Ichigo had no intention of keeping nightmares. Uryuu merely looked away as he shivered visibly.

Yes, nightmares. Creepy dreams, if you would.

"So Ken'ichi used the rubber, didn't he?" Urahara was still sitting as he leaned on his cane.  
"You bet he did and on my daughter no less." Uryuu was angry again.  
"Well, isn't that wonderful?" Urahara clapped, "Congratu—"  
"That's_not_ wonderful!" Uryuu was close to losing it as he glared, "This is a_problem_!"  
"But you see, it only becomes a problem if you look at it as a problem." Urahara replied without losing a bit of his uncalled enthusiasm, "See this as an opportunity."

Ichigo kept his furrowed eyebrows as he continued to give a heavy stare towards Urahara. The shop keeper was either _not_ getting it or getting it _and_ ignoring it. Whichever it was, Urahara Kisuke still did not drop that buoyant aura of his.

Spreading the love, wasn't he?

"Oppor… tunity…?" Ishida Uryuu was shaking, "You call my no longer innocent daughter… an opportunity?"  
"Come on, we all have to grow up." Urahara shrugged, "I mean, how old were _you_ when you were stripped of innocence?"

Neither of the two men answered.

"Let me see…" Urahara tapped his chin as if thinking and then paused before looking at Ishida, "Ninety-five?"  
"I WAS SIXTEEN!" Ishida glared, "But that—"  
"Yes and I assume you did not use the rubber, hm?" Urahara smiled, "Otherwise, no twins. And no white butterfly! Am I correct,_Kurosaki-kun_?"

Still no answer.

"And how are your wives taking this?"

Ichigo and Uryuu looked at each other. Their wives were taking everything so lightly, weren't they?

Actually, no. Considering that they were now rummaging the whole of the Kurosaki's house, they were actually overreacting. As soon as Ryu and Yui had finished doing damage repair on Ken'ichi's room, the two mothers were determined to find those guys-only magazines that were hiding in the house. The twins knew better than to interrogate or to join them and so they quietly slipped away to be free from any more humiliation.

"Have you found one yet?" Rukia asked Orihime as she searched her son's clothes. She felt like a prowling burglar.  
"Are you sure this is okay?" Rukia asked again and Orihime straightened from reaching for something — anything — under the bed.

"Rukia, as a mother, you must know what your son is up to." Orihime said like a lecturing teacher as Rukia blinked like a rabbit, "This may not seem like its okay but trust me, from everything I've watched on TV, this is for his own good."

Rukia sighed heavily and looked at the drawers and the cabinet she had been looking into.

"Do you do this to Ryu, too?" she asked Orihime.  
"Well, not yet since I thought it was Uryuu's part to look after this side of his son." The Ishida wife replied thoughtfully and pouted, "But now that this happened, I don't think Uryuu has been doing his job at all."  
"Indeed…" Rukia said thoughtfully as well, "Women have to do everything, don't we?"  
"Yes, indeed."

The two mothers sighed in unison, feeling as if the weight of the world had been thwarted upon their shoulders. Who said motherhood was easy? Rukia glanced at her son's bookshelf and started towards it after closing the drawer. She hesitated at first and rethought before telling herself that she _was_ going to do this… If she ever found any of Ichigo's hentai collection actually existed then she did not know what she would do. It was when a brown box caught her attention. Rukia reached for it and pulled it out. The rectangular box was plainly brown as if not wanting to attract attention.

"What is that?" Orihime crawled towards Rukia who quietly sat down and lifted the lid. She was just hoping to find the magazines in there to just get it over with but didn't. Instead, inside were envelopes — lots of it.

"They look like letters." Orihime commented and Rukia nodded. She knew that Ken'ichi's trash can used to be full of discarded love letters. Were these the ones he kept? Rukia blinked at the weirdly scented paper. She remembered when Ichigo got one when she was pregnant and how she threw an only partly reasonable fit about it. She dismissed asking him properly and immediately hit him (out of love, she told herself) and sped out to tell her Niisama. The ones in this box were also scented but strange in a way. Rukia took one and lifted it. Orihime sneezed at the whiff in the air and Rukia felt like doing the same as she waved a hand in front of her nose.

_To The Goddess of Beauty, Ishida Yui._

What?

Orihime and Rukia gasped. Ken'ichi had been writing love letters for Yui?

"But this is not Ken'ichi's handwriting." Rukia said, thinking loudly as she flipped the envelope. It was already open. Had Yui read this? Did he keep her love letters for her?

"What does it say?" Orihime inched closer as Rukia unfolded the paper of the same scent as the envelope. It was surprisingly girly… with a bad taste at that. Pink, yellow and purple just didn't look like especially when there were weird animals like pigs (at least that's what they thought those were) under umbrellas with hearts drawn on it.

"Dear Ishida-san…" Orihime began.

"Please call me Mr. Wallflower." Rukia continued and both mothers stopped before looking at each other, shrugging and looking at the paper again. Rukia resumed reading, "I do not know if I would be able to ever disclose to you my identity for fear of rejection but I know as well that I will forever regret it if I do not tell you how I feel."

"Why does Ken'ichi call himself Mr. Wallflower and talk like an uncircumcised stranger?" Orihime blinked.  
"This is not Ken'ichi's handwriting." Rukia said again as she shook her head, dismissing the idea of reading through the end of the letter as she put it back in the envelope. Orihime took another of the scented paper packets and looked at it.  
"This is also addressed to Yui." The Rikka-wielding lady spoke and took another, "And this one, too… And this one… And this one…"  
"They're all addressed to your daughter." Rukia was randomly taking envelopes, checking them and returning them, "What could Ken'ichi want with these?"

"Yui is not the type to have someone keep her letters for her." Orihime commented as they put the envelopes back in the box. Rukia shrugged and took the lid to close the box but then noticed something dangling from under the cover. She turned it over and was surprised to see a white post-it note on it.

_Kurosaki, please give the chocolates to Ishida-san. I'm counting on you!_

Rukia and Orihime gasped. Under that was something in Ken'ichi's handwriting.

_You wish, you bastard._

Rukia's mouth flung open and Orihime covered hers.

"Ken'ichi…" Rukia began.  
"Ken'ichi had been eating Yui's chocolates!" Orihime exclaimed and Rukia paused before unstoppably sending Orihime a weird, "are-you-nuts" look. Orihime got the message and asked, "Ara? What is it then?"

"I wouldn't know." Rukia closed the box and stood up, "But I bet your son would."  
"Ryu?" Orihime asked, "Well, what about the porn magazines?"  
"Oh, that's easy." Rukia smiled, "Otousan would very much know where those are."

**-**End of Part 5** -**

* * *

Author: SORRY I AM LATE! I'll be going a bit slower now. I have a job so I'm going to be updating once a week. Yeah, kinda like manga now. Sorry. But I will try to update some more if the company's free computers allow me to. Gawd, I need a laptop quite badly. Anyway, I hope you haven't lost interest. I still want to write but I come home nearly dead from weariness. I hope you understand. Thank you for all the mail, the PM's and the IM's. I'm very flattered! Sorry if I can't reply so much. I love you, guys!

Cheerios, cookies and Bankai to us all!


	6. The G Word

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 6 : The G Word**

* * *

Rukia knew she was going to regret this but she had to try nonetheless. If her husband had been keeping any porn, she would have to know so that she could get her hands on it… To get rid of it, of course and most definitely not to read it and study it then get rid of it. Well, perhaps for the purpose of knowledge but not of perversion since she, along with oh high and noble Byakuya-nisama, was Kuchiki. Noble blood. Not a pervert. She knew their room very well and she was sure there was nothing pornographic in it… at least that's what she knew. The Kurosaki wife breathed in as she looked at the bearded man in front of her.

"What is it, my precious daughter-in-law?" Isshin was grinning all too eagerly for comfort but Rukia dismissed it for the sake of what could be the truth.

And porn mags.

Paraphernalia.

What?

"Otousan…" Rukia began after a deep breath. Actually, she did not know how to start it but her mouth was already open. Isshin's eyebrows shot up along with the tilting of his head towards her to encourage her to continue. Orihime was not saying anything and kept her hands behind her back as she looked randomly at anything to distract her from butting in. It was not her nature to interrupt conversations but for some reason, ever since she got married, anything sexual made her feel so weird. Perhaps copulating with a Quincy activated a perversion gland?

"Otousan…" Rukia said again.  
"Yes?"

It was rather stupid asking her father-in-law for her husband's porn materials. Was this even proper? Here she was standing in the kitchen with Ishida Orihime and Kurosaki Isshin in their kitchen as she tried telling her self to ask a simple perverted question. Well, come to think of it, there's such a thing as "joint property" and what was Ichigo's was Rukia's and that meant everything was supposed to be _split_ equally between them.

Even porn mags.

Rukia wanted to slap her forehead.

Damn it with porn!

"I… uhm…" Rukia took another deep breath. For some reason, it all felt quite wrong.  
"What is it, Rukia?" Isshin asked her, "You know, it is part of this family's sacred rule to keep the immortal road of communication open to all those who wish to pass."

Isshin turned to Orihime, "That includes the Ishida's."  
"Why thank you!"

It was surprising how Orihime thought of that as a wonderful opportunity than a dreaded threat. It is part of this family's sacred rule to keep the immortal road of communication open to all those who wish to pass? That's nirvana _right there_.

"Well, I…" Rukia opened her mouth again but Mai's shrill voice reached her ears, "DAAAAAAADDYYYYYYY!"

"Otousan is not here!" Hideki's voice trailed after his sister's and Rukia looked around and saw Mai running towards her. The little girl's eyes swiftly scanned the area and stopped at her tracks. Hideki came to sight soon after and looked at his mother.

"What happened?" Rukia asked. Hideki's eyes flashed and in an instant, he turned pink before running towards his mother and wailing, "OKASAAAAAN!"

He threw his arms around her waist and began sobbing as he shook his head like an innocent kid whose cookie was stolen by the bully next door. Mai blinked and gasped and followed suit and in no time, Rukia had two children hugging her waist.

"Oh, what is it!?" Isshin grabbed his cheeks and trotted towards Rukia, "What are my little angel darling sweet-ums shedding tears for?"

Rukia wanted to raise an eyebrow. There was indeed no question where Ichigo got his sweet-talk-my-daughter attitude. This was enough proof that Kurosaki Isshin was _indeed_ Ichigo's father. Whether or not that was good, she did not really care for now. Rukia looked down at the two crying children. Hideki was saying something she could not understand while Mai was parroting whatever it was that Hideki was saying… Or whatever it is she thought he was saying.

"What is it?"

"Is it true, Okasan?" Hideki looked up to Rukia.  
"Is it true, Okasan?" That was Mai.

"What is?"

"That Kiichii-nii…" Mai began and she swallowed.  
"… And Yui-oneechan…" Hideki continued, swallowed and finished, "… Are getting married?"

"WHAT!" Rukia blasted in surprise in contrary to Orihime and Isshin's smiling faces in the background. Orihime had clasped her hands together and Isshin was now moving in a wavy way that Rukia thought was a cross between a seizure and dancing. Whatever it was supposed to be, it was highly disturbing.

Ken'ichi and Yui? Getting married? Little Kii-chan leaving the house? Oh, what ever would she do? Where would they live? Where would they get married? Would Ichigo be able to handle the expenses? Well, perhaps the Ishidas could help out with the bills. Oh, she would have to look up a proper suit for her little Kii… And… And…

Hold it.

What on earth were these children talking about?

Hideki and Mai did not have imaginations running _that_ wild. Someone must have told them that.

"Who told you that?"

"RYU-ONIISAN!" the two children chorused.

**---**

"You freaked them out." Yui grumbled as she looked out the window. Her arms were crossed and her eyes fixed themselves on the running cat on the wall a good distance from the window. Ryu chuckled from the couch of the Kurosaki living room from where he watched television. Yui sent her brother a light gaze, annoyed to some point that he was treating the matter with such frivolity and she pouted.

"How could you tell the kids I was getting married to Ken'ichi?"  
"Well, aren't you?" Ryu replied as he leaned back with his hand extending and his fingers busying themselves with the remote, "I mean, Otousan did run off to get your groom if not kill him."  
"RYU!" Yui blasted and her arms dropped vigorously.

"What!" Ryu's eyes peeled off from the TV screen after changing the channel. Three girls in short pleated skirts were singing something now and the lively high-pitched tune was in great contrast with the image of a red Yui stomping closer towards him. She was glaring at him as she tried figuring out what to say or how to say whatever it is she wanted to say. But she stood practically motionless except for the slight shaking of her arms. She was biting her lip whether or not she knew it and Ryu shook his head before sighing.

"Come on, Yui-chan." Ryu said softly, "If Otousan really wanted to kill Ken'ichi, he would've been back with a carcass by now. That or your Kurosaki Ichigo-_otousama_'s reiatsu would've burst like a geyser to warn us of something."

"That's still not nice."  
"Oh, and since when did you want me to be nice to Ken'ichi?" Ryu grinned.

"Since I realized that I didn't want to be like you." Yui snickered back and Ryu's eyes moved to probe an answer off his sister's face but found none. Perplexed, he tilted his head but she did not respond. He lifted an eyebrow and wore a quizzical look on his face.

"Loveless."

That was it. The Quincy dragon's eyes widened along with the scarlet hue that worked across his face. This was no threat. This was a victory and Yui wore her triumphant grin.

"Ryu, are you gay?"

Ryu dropped the remote. The channel changed.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Ryu blasted and Yui's head slightly backed as Ryu leaned aggravatingly forward from his sitting position, "Why is everyone questioning my gender just because I don't have a girlfriend?!"

Yui blinked.

That's thunder and lighting right there.

"Tell me, is it a Quincy requirement for a teenager to have a lover at a certain age!" Ryu was now messing up his own hair as if he were talking alone, "Like, _seriously_, I have no intention of racking it all up in a _storage room_ and tell my kids about it in the future! I know what a freaking hymen is and I know how to break it and I know what sex is and I know what contraceptives are! Do they even realize that I was the one who told Ken'ichi how to use the—"

Yui gasped. Ryu gasped. That was a very, very good discovery via a slip up back there… And a disturbing one at that.

"You what?" Yui asked, still unsure of how the "discovery" part hit her. She didn't know what was more shocking — that her brother taught Ken'ichi about contraceptives, that Ken'ichi had to be taught about contraceptives or that Ken'ichi and Ryu shared a few moments together learning about contraceptives.

Somebody tell her those were _pills_!

"Well, I…" Ryu scratched his head, partly reverting to his usual self as he realized what he had just said, "What I meant was…"  
"You… taught… Ken'ichi…"  
"Urm…" Ryu started fixing his hair, "So yeah, practically, it's thanks to me that you're not…"  
"You…_taught_… Ken'ichi…"

Ryu raised an eyebrow. She was sounding like a broken record in her disbelief. Something was wrong. She probably did not get something right. Ryu immediately returned to probing her face so that he could figure it out. Her mouth was open. Her eyes were staring at him then past him then at him then past him as her fingers twitched unstably with her shoulders. Okay, it seemed as though her soul was trying to phase out of her body and scream like a mad little girl.

"Okay, listen." Ryu began, "It's like…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Yui broke in a shriek. Ryu grabbed his hair again.

Oh, dear.

---

"What was that?" Rukia asked no one in particular as her head lifted from looking down on her kids who were hugging her waist. She was trying to explain to her son, her daughter, her father-in-law and herself that the marriage was not final yet or somewhere along those lines… Well, at least not now. Her skirt was wet from the children's tears. Orihime had broken into tears upon realizing that her daughter was grown up plus the fact that she could not figure out Yui's gown as of the moment. But even while in her "state of emotional shock" (which was according to her), Orihime immediately recognized her daughter's voice shooting from the living room.

"That was Yui."

The girl sounded provoked and scared and the two mothers immediately shot out of the room, leaving the two children with their grandfather. Hideki, recognizing the voice of his ultimate crush, immediately forgot that he was crying and wanted to run out with his mother if Mai had not grabbed onto him. And as their grandfather started rubbing his whisker-y beard on their faces, Hideki wondered what kind of hideous thing his Kiichii-nii had done to delicate Yui-oneechan to make her scream like that… again.

---

"Yui!" Ryu complained.

"RYU!" Yui gasped and immediately plopped on the couch before grabbing her twin brother by the shoulders. She seriously stabled her eyes in front of him. She was so serious that it seemed scary. She was holding back from biting her lip and she was probing his orbs probably to read his mind. Good luck, Yui, you're no clairvoyant.

Ryu gulped.

He felt like a convicted murderer that Yui was trying to save.

"Would you lie to me if I asked you if you're gay…?"

Ryu's shoulders dropped and he looked annoyingly at his sister. He had never wanted to slap her back to her senses as much as he wanted to now. His next answer was as predictable as it was true.

"I'm not gay."  
"Would you lie?"

_Screw liars._

"No,_dear sister_." Ryu said flatly, "Why would I lie?"  
"B-b-b-b-because…" Yui muttered, "Y-y-you'd lie b-b-b-b…"

Great, she was saying incantations now? Ryu looked at his sister's fingers on his shoulders. Her grip was definitely tightening amidst the trembling. She gulped and Ryu wanted to release an annoyed sigh. Nothing good would come out of this.

"What is it?" Ryu said, eyes still on her fingers, "Why would I lie?"  
"Well, because…" Yui murmured. Ryu looked at her with only his eyes moving, "Yes?"  
"Because…"  
"Yes…?"

Yui paused. She could get maimed for what she was going to say. After all, how was she going to ask if her only and twin brother was in love with the same guy she was in love with? Aside from it was a tad bit insulting; it was also rather… disturbing. What on earth would she do if he said yes? Would she lock him forever away from Ken'ichi? Was she allowed to reject this part of her brother? Was there a Quincy ritual for this?

"Ryu… Promise you won't get angry."

Well the only proper answer for it was "I won't get angry" since if he said anything else, she would probably not tell him and he wouldn't get to the bottom of anything. This madness had to end now before he started doubting his own sexuality — which was insane. He was sure he was a man.

"Ryu, are you in love with Ken'ichi?"

Oh for the love of—

The young male Quincy rolled his eyes away. It was an act of annoyance but Yui, the oh-so-(supposedly)-smart Yui, mistook it for something else. But that's not the problem. The problem was someone else screamed the question again.

"OH, RYU, ARE YOU GAY!?"

Ishida Orihime.

It was not a very nice question especially if it was his mother who was asking it… again. Ryu was unable to hold back from slapping his forehead. He could feel his mother starting at him. Heavy eyes, indeed, amidst that watery image on those sparkling orbs of hers. Yes, Rukia-san was there, too. How highly embarrassing…! If anyone should be crying now, it should be him.

_He_ was the victim here!

'Ryu, are you in love with Ken'ichi?' What kind of question was that?

Ryu's eyes moved towards Yui. He expected her to have her eyes wide, hands on her mouth and blinking as a silent gesture to say, "Sorry! They heard! I shouldn't have said that!" But, no. Yui did have her hands on her mouth but it was out of something else. She was waiting for him to answer. _Still_ waiting for him to answer. It was as if she did not realize that their mother and her soon-to-be mother-in-law were in the same room already…

It was as if 'Are you in love with Ken'ichi' was on the same level as 'What's your name'!

"I… AM… NOT… GAY…!"

"Who's gay?"

Great, that was Kurosaki Isshin's voice!

"NOT ME!"

Ryu was close to losing it totally. He wanted to tear his hair off his head in frustration. Ryu groaned loudly and buried his face on the living room pillows to drown more groans and complains and curses and whatever else that was going to come out of his mouth. His traitorous sister was not saying anything. If she had realized her grave mistake, he did not now because he was busy telling himself not to sulk in fetal position.

Isshin waved at Orihime and Rukia to get their attention and gestured for them to quietly follow. Whatever it was, it looked serious. However, knowing her father-in-law, Rukia was quite sure it was something, well, out-of-the-ordinary.

Life was never boring with the Kurosaki's.

"This could be bad." Isshin said lowly, looking around as if to check if anyone was listening.  
"What is?" Rukia blinked, looking around her self.  
"Ryu is in denial phase."

Orihime gasped as if hearing the killer background music from Jaws.

"D-d-d-denial phase?" Orihime stuttered.  
"Yes…"  
"You mean my son is…"

"No." Isshin replied, "He could actually be a man but if ever he were gay… Well, he could be confused right now… But then he could be telling the truth… Such frustration breaks the heart of…"

Whatever it was that Isshin said next, Rukia was _not_ able to hear it probably because it barely made sense. Besides, she was busy comforting Orihime and telling her that her son was not gay. Seriously now, what was wrong if someone was gay? It wasn't wrong at all. Come on, if it's love, it's love. If Ryu loved… her… Kii-chan… then…

Rukia gulped.

Well, whatever. Nothing's wrong in being gay. Of course, she could not say that now that Isshin was babbling more things.

Huh? What was he saying again?

"… And so, Orihime, you need not worry! I, Kurosaki Isshin, have taken it upon myself to make sure your son grows up into a fine man!"

Oh, that's just… _golden_!

Orihime lifted her face from her hands and looked at Isshin as if he were a giant spark of hope for her. Her lips trembled and she spoke, "R-Really?"

"What makes you think you can do that?" Ruki was too flabbergasted at Isshin's announcement to even think that she could be rude.  
"Well, Ichigo is my son. I raised my son and you married him."

Rukia gulped and wanted to smack her face with her fist.

God damn it, the old man was right.

**-**End of Part 6** -**

* * *

Author: Sorry if it took so long! I was sick, distracted, working and busy! A lot of my files have been deleted and I had to redo this chapter for like seven times from different computers. I am so sorry if I put you guys down or something. I still hope you like it though. I was really close to tearing down WNL10 because I was afraid I disappointed you all from the lack of updates. But, hey, even so-called Flash Goddess of Updates need to rest… desshou? –faint smile-

I hope you check out my friendster page since there's a random "Oh My…!" Trilogy quiz for the hell. The link is in my profile. To all those I haven't replied to, I am sincerely sorry. Please pardon me. I wasn't ignoring you or anything. I have been very busy and very, very distracted and I don't write happy stories when I feel so down and… you get the picture.

Anyway, hope you liked this one… The shortest of the WNL10 chapters!

Cheerios, cookies and bankai to us all.


	7. So Happy Together

Author: Yo, minna-san! Before anything, I'm sorry for the delay! Now that I've said what I can't be said later and before you tear me to bits, I hail…

**We're No Longer Ten  
**_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 07: So Happy Together**

* * *

Ken'ichi was telling himself to keep breathing even as he told Ryuken the whole story of the dilemma he was in. It felt really weird and awkward telling it to an older man who never talked and the grandfather of his girlfriend, no less. Who knew if the man was trying to make him talk so that he could record it and use it as evidence against him? But then again, Ken'ichi was in no position to be making demands or asking questions. His only option was to oblige, follow and obey lest he risk being punctured, tortured or worse, killed.

"So Urahara was the one who designed that little thing." Ryuken sighed and rubbed his forehead using his two fingers, "Why am I not surprised?" The white-haired Quincy shook his head and dumped a cigarette butt on the floor. He thoughtfully stepped on it with the tip of his shoe and Ken'ichi watched the dying smoke try to escape from under the leather shoe.

Then there was banging on the door. Ryuken looked at the rather small door to their far right. Ken'ichi fidgeted and got up, looking around for sanctuary.

"GOD DAMN YOU, URYUU!"

"GOD DAMN YOU, TOO, ICHIGO!"

"Now calm down, the both—"

"GOD DAMN YOU, TOO, URAHARA!"

Ken'ichi felt like he gasped and swallowed at the same time. There was a bit of a reassurance that he'd be safe since his father was there but that was only if his orange-haired Shinigami dad was not interested in twisting his limbs for this screw up. There were no windows. There was only one door. Perhaps he should try hiding behind the blocks? Should he play dead now? Or should he ask Ryuken to kill him now? The older man seemed to have less of murderous intent than his son, after all.

"Relax." Ryuken tapped Ken'ichi on the shoulder and headed coolly towards the door.

Easy for him to say.

"You're not getting in that waaaay…" Urahara said in a sing-song voice.

"WHO ASKED YOU!" The two fathers chorused and from behind the door, Ken'ichi could hear noises that seemed to be violent movements from two people pushing each other. Ichigo was complaining that Uryuu had stepped on his foot when Ryuken opened the door in one swing. Both the Shinigami and the Quincy fell inside chest first and landed with an "oof!". Urahara immediately stepped in before Ryuken had any ideas of slamming the door with Mr. Sandal Hat's neck in between. As Urahara smiled at Ryuken, the former Captain could not help but feel that the Quincy was blaming him for something.

"You are so loud." Ryuken said as he closed the door.

"You are so dead!" Uryuu announced at Ken'ichi and motioned to push himself up but Ryuken immediately stepped on his son's cloak. Uryuu fell again and Ichigo snickered as he scampered away before Uryuu's old man thought of stepping on his hakama.

"And this is why I don't wear those flamboyant and frivolous clothing." Ryuken said as he shook his head.

"This is art, you!" Uryuu snatched the end of his clothing and frowned at the mark that the shoe left on its surface. He glared at his father and started dusting the cloth while mumbling, "Well, what the hell do you know about art and fashion anyway?"

"Oh, is this the groom to-be?" Urahara chuckled and trotted towards Ken'ichi who now looked like he had trauma from everyone he knew. He inched away from Urahara who jovially patted him on the back.

Ken'ichi looked at Uryuu who was glaring like thirty thousand icicles piercing through his body. The Quincy father looked at the Shinigami father and opened his mouth to say something.

Ken'ichi groaned.

_Me. Die. Now._

--

"Your son is a pervert!"

Ken'ichi felt like Ishida Uryuu had said it for how many times twice his life time.

"Uryuu, your son might be gay!"

Ryu felt like his mother, Ishida Orihime had said the same statement for how many stabs it took to kill Shinigami using an ordinary kitchen knife's handle! And although she said "might", it actually felt like it was more of an "is".

Ken'ichi and Ryu glanced at each other as they sat on the couch of Kurosaki Ichigo's living room as their parents in the middle prattled about things that involved perversion, virginity, gender and that nasty shoe print on the bunny rug. Ichigo and Uryuu were standing in front of each other with their wives behind them. Rukia was sporting her "Ichigo-this-nonsense-is-getting-us-nowhere" look while Orihime was wearing an exact opposite — "URYUU-THIS-IS-AN-EMERGENCY!" Between the two sons on the couch was Yui who sighed heavily in her usual irritated tone. A male version of that sigh was then released followed by a heavy question that was more like a threat.

"What the hell am _I_ doing here?" Ryuken complained as he put his head on his hand while sitting annoyingly on one of the living room chairs.

"You _dare_ hide the perpetrator and ask me not to persecute you!?" Uryuu pointed at his father who now thought his son was overreacting like Isshin, "How dare you even try to help the one who is responsible for deflowering your only granddaughter!"

"And how _dare_ you even ignore your little boy's gender crisis!" Orihime was practically wailing for attention from her husband who had her back to her because he was busy grabbing Ichigo by the front of his Shinigami haori. Ichigo, in turn, was grabbing Uryuu's Quincy garb ("You better not tear any part of this outfit or so help me, I'm going to shred your Bankai garb to drive Senbonzakura to retirement!").

"My son is not a pervert!" Ichigo insisted.  
"For all you know, Ichigo, he is!"  
"For all you know, Uryuu, Ryu might be gay!"

"We're going to make sure he ain't gay!" Isshin's voice came in like horror BGM to Ryu's ears and the Ishida boy groaned as the eldest Kurosaki came in with what else but magazines in his arms. One didn't have to be a genius to figure out what those were.

If anyone needed a clue: "It starts with a 'p'!"

Ryu had been so fed up with being called gay that he felt like he twitched whenever he heard anything that rhymed with it. Day, may, way, say, lay, hay, pray, clay… MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Call it paranoia but he felt like everyone was hell-bent on making him prove he was not gay either by stripping him of his innocence or turning him into a pervert. That or he had missed out on something. The Ishida boy looked up at the older man who was supposedly the grand father of his best friend, who, after a whirlwind turn, was no longer a virgin and suddenly a man. Seriously, now, how could one's virginity judge one's gender?

Ryu glanced towards the window where nearby was a smiling fanning "sexy shop keeper" also known as perpetrator of all that is dangerous and not virgin. It was thanks to his witty little comment that Uryuu realized where Ken'ichi was. "You normally feel people who are far away like there's a wall between you" was very, very helpful in _concealing_ the soul synthesized room. Ishida Uryuu sped off towards the direction of said synthesized room. Kurosaki Ichigo was at his heels as well as Urahara Kisuke (who would've armed himself with a reiatsu-proof video camera if possible). Shifting from the "You'll kill my paying patients" to the "You'll kill my innocent paying patients" note several times, Ishida Ryuken was successfully able to convince his son to wage war in the Kurosaki household instead… where god damn Isshin was. Along with teenage hormones, Isshin and Urahara were partly to blame for this mess. And Ryuken… Ryuken was just dragged along, seen as one of the "evil" people trying to side with the Shinigami pervert that was Kurosaki Ken'ichi.

And they say Hollows made the world go nuts.

"I'm _not_ gay." Ryu said flatly in an annoying tone as he looked at the pink yet perverted magazines and whatnot being brought by Kurosaki Isshin in front of him. Isshin did not seem to mind though as he started to rattle off things Ryu chose to ignore.

He needed help.

"Maybe 1964 Playboy issues would help?" Isshin was now muttering to himself.

Big help.

"You see, Ury—Hey, you, old man, what the hell do you think you're doing!" Ichigo immediately shove Uryuu away and made a grab for all the magazines Isshin was laying out. Amidst the strangling, it was unsure whether it was freaky or amazing that Kurosaki Isshin was able to explain that 1964 Playboy issues sported women with _real_ breasts, figures and faces due to the absence of related surgical procedures. Rukia had slapped her forehead for how many times today.

"Can't you see I'm helping the Ishida kid!" Isshin reasoned out and started grabbing the entire magazine stack towards his side for sanctuary, "His grandfather's gay so he can't do anything!"

There were two gasps from the two mothers in the room.

"Oh, so it's hereditary!" Rukia and Orihime more of exclaimed than asked but the glare from Ryuken made them gulp.  
"Look, pops, if you think Ryu is gay, then…" Ichigo started.  
"But I'm _not_ gay!" Ryu complained, half-rid of the thought that he was complaining to a man who was decades older than he was.  
"… Whatever, whatever." Ichigo waved the younger, cringing boy off, "… Like, pops, if he is or not, just let his parents—"  
"But I asked your father to help!" Orihime cut in, "Ichigo, my son needs help!"  
"I'm perfectly normal!" Ryu cut in again almost to the brink of horrendous tears, "What is wrong with you people!"  
"Say…" Rukia began.  
"I'm not gay!" Ryu practically yelled and Rukia gasped. Yui gasped. Ryu gasped. Ken'ichi tapped Ryu's forehead with his palm and said, "Yo, my mom said 'say', not 'gay'. Settle down."  
"Sorry."  
"You should stop calling him…" Yui glanced at Ryu and then at the adults, "… _that_ word. Ryu's gaining in on mental damage to ground zero."

There was a small sniff from Ryu as if to say, "Thanks, sis"

"But, Yui, wasn't it _your_ theory?" Rukia blinked.

"Ah, yes, well…" Yui looked away from her absolutely glaring twin who was demanding her support, her back-up and her slavery under him, "… I… I could be wrong, you know. I mean, what do _I_ know about those things, right? So…"

"What do _you_ know?" Uryuu was still overreacting, "Would you like me to enumerate about what _you_ know?"

"Otousan, it's not like Yui had been doing it for how many times now…" Ryu sighed in frustration, feeling sorry for his sister who was the only female among the three of them.

There was a short pause. For whatever reason, the three adolescents did not care. It was very, very relieving that there wasn't anyone who was yelling nonsense, shoving magazines in front of anyone, discussing virginity, questioning gender and demanding who the hell left that mud print on the bunny rug.

"Look …" Ryuken finally spoke, "Instead of accusing anyone of perversion or homosexuality…"

Ryu wanted to wail because one, he was not gay; two, he was sick of everything and; three, he was glad that his grandfather did not resort to tying his ankles together and hanging him upside down with Hollow bait from a tree on Mount Everest.

"… Why won't the parents take their respective children and _talk_ it over?"

That was also equal to, "I have nothing to do with this! I need and want my cigarette break and I didn't leave that mud print on the accursed rabbit rug!"

"That is…" Rukia began.  
"… Totally _out of the question_!"

Ryuken did not even bother to raise an eyebrow at Isshin. Whether or not Ryuken asked "why" was unnecessary. Kurosaki Isshin was more likely to explain himself even without being prompted to.

"Your daughter-in-law has asked for my aid in securing the manliness of her son who happens to be your grandson, the youngest Quincy heir…"

"I don't care."

"… And as an honorable Shinigami, father, grandfather and man, I, Kurosaki Isshin, have taken on this task on behalf on all grandparents who are all for the greater good…"

"I don't care."

"… And so, Ishida Ryuken, my dear friend… You should be able to comprehend that this involves your participation. Failure to do so will only mean that you, without doubt, are a horrible grandfather, an idiot of a father and an abomination to the rest of the world. And so…"

Ryuken still wasn't budging and Ichigo's right eyebrow was twitching horribly. Whatever his father was trying to say, no matter how he said it always meant one thing.

"… I propose an all-out adult offense on this mission!"

Doom. Catastrophe. Disaster.

"Let me say it again, Kurosaki…" Ryuken sighed, stopping himself from rubbing his forehead, "… I… don't…"  
"_I_ don't care what _you_ think." Isshin stormed towards Ryuken and lifted one of his porn mags against the eldest Quincy's face, "_You_ will help _me_ fix this or _else_…"  
"I never do the part where I'm supposed to say 'I am so scared'…"

Dying from Hollow fangs was more suitable for the Quincy than to partake in any nonsense Isshin was planning.

"As I was saying…" Uryuu began.  
"Uryuu, I want you to stop insisting that Kurosaki's grandson is a pervert." Ryuken said, pushing away the porn mag with one hand.  
"WHAT!"

Wind blew… At least for the normal eye. Rukia was getting sick of the reiatsu bursts in her house. The Kurosaki wife was still mad about the nasty print on her Chappy rug and it was more of a priority than distinguishing who was the pervert and who was gay. She now mentally noted that she was going to _make_ Ichigo reconstruct the house made of Sekiseki and she would still have to consider if putting a trapdoor under the rug to catch the culprit would be a good idea. But now that Ishida Uryuu was as mad as a honey-deprived bee, perhaps it would be good if she just attended to the matter at hand.

"Look at it this way, Uryuu…" Ishida Ryuken said casually as he crossed his legs and dusted his pants for some reason, "… No one accused you of being a pervert when _you_ did something to Inoue Orihime."

Ichigo muffled a chuckle. Yui closed her eyes tightly. Ken'ichi looked away. Ryu was trying not to faint. Orihime gasped. Uryuu's mouth remained open. Isshin was saying something no one cared about.

Rukia opened her mouth and said, "We never thought of that, have we?"

Uryuu gasped again.

"Thought of what?" Ichigo asked.  
"About Uryuu…" Rukia innocently pointed at said person while looking at Ichigo, "No one ever thought of Uryuu as a pervert."

There were gasps across the room and Kurosaki Isshin's obvious blur sped across the room and towards Rukia. Two large hands grabbed her by the shoulders before Rukia realized that her whole world was shaking.

"WHAT! What happened, my precious daughter-in-law!? Did this abominable Quincy family friend lay his hands on you?"  
"O-Otousan, that's not…" Rukia began.

"OOOOOOOOOOH, MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW!! DO NOT FEAR AND DO NOT BE WARY OF YOUR DADDY!!" Isshin's eyes were streaming with tears, "I SHALL PROTECT YOU WITH EVERY OUNCE OF LOVING, VIOLENT VENOM THAT FLOWS IN MY VEINS!"

"Actually, I…" Rukia was starting to back. Whenever Ichigo's dad started crying like _that_, it meant only one thing.

Hugs.

"COME CRY IN MY BOSOM!"

Glomps, actually.

Kurosaki Isshin flung his arms in the air and Rukia released a small shriek that spelled as "ZOMFGWTF! HELP ME BECAUSE I CAN'T KICK MY FATHER-IN-LAW!"

Doom. Doom. Doom.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia shrieked.

"OLD MAN!" Ichigo's elbow aimed for his father's cheek. The older Kurosaki's eye glinted and blocked before, in turn, grabbing Ichigo's arm and slamming him on their living room floor. There was a large thud and the three teenagers had considered inching together before any of the adults proceed to do anything stupid or stupider.

Isshin landed with another thud and Ichigo immediately sprang to his feet in fighting stance.

"Your wife is _right_, Ichigo!" Isshin pointed at his son, "Back then, no one accused any of you of being perv—"  
"Hold it _right there_, beardy!" Ichigo pointed back, "Do you realize how her bratty, high and mighty Byakuya-_oniisama_ called me everything along the lines of pervert _and_ disrespectful?"

"And was I ever wrong?"

The voice was gentle and monotonous but somehow, it made a weird tinge that impended pressure for several people and exasperation and insult for Ichigo.

Can anyone say kenseikan?

"Byakuya-ojisama!"

Ken'ichi nearly squealed upon seeing his uncle who favored him among all. Although he had done something that could trigger "torture by thousand pink petals", at least his ojisama was someone who spoke in a first-rate, sophisticated manner worthy to be listened to… Totally unlike this Quincy who kept saying "pervert" like a howitzer mouth in shunpo. Byakuya spared Ken'ichi a glance as the open fusuma was now starting to close and diminish. Rukia immediately shifted to a certain posture as if to silently, nobly and formally welcome and acknowledge the arrival of her brother. Byakuya entered the area and graced the floor with his light footsteps. Ichigo's eye was twitching as if feeling that Byakuya was trying to say, "Behold my presence!"

"Don't you know how to knock?" Ichigo glared perhaps dissed that there were a lot of people in his house, "Get out and knock at the front door, you walking piece of kenseikan shi—"

"What happened to my nephew?" Byakuya was ignoring Ichigo and was looking at Rukia.

"Moreover, what the crap are you doing here?" Ichigo was sounding even more irritated and provocative, "Shouldn't you have tons of paperwork stacked up to the ceiling?"

"What is my Lieutenant for if he's useless?"

Wow, so Renji the fashion fiesta was the one to do the paperwork, eh? How come "Shinigami daikou" didn't have any Lieutenants? He was supposed to have a whole squad or something since he had living world stuff to take care of! Mental note: _Demand_ an assistant from old man Yamamoto — an assistant _other_ than Rukia lest he suffer rabbit stamps on his paperwork and bunny designs on his folders.

"Again, Rukia, what happened to my nephew?" Byakuya asked. Rukia bit her lip and looked at her husband. Ichigo was still cocking an eyebrow as he walked towards Byakuya.  
"Hey…!" Ichigo landed a firm hand on Byakuya's shoulder. The Kuchiki clan leader's already rigid back seemed to stiffen a bit more as he looked at the hand on his shoulder and then at Ichigo who was not budging.  
"'Hey' yourself." Byakuya said flatly and forced Ichigo's fingers off his scarf as he walked towards a chair across Ishida Ryuken's.

"With all due respect, _Byakuya-sama_." Uryuu said mockingly as he crossed his arms. Byakuya raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he waited for the Quincy to continue.

"It would be more appropriate to ask what your nephew _did_ to _my_ innocent daughter."

Byakuya sat on the soft chair and crossed his legs. If he were contemplating, no one knew since he was normally silent. His cold eyes shifted and it was surprising that even Isshin was not saying anything.

"Ken'ichi." Byakuya's eyes landed on his nephew who gasped as his uncle continued, "Did you do anything?"  
"I told you…" Uryuu began.  
"I'm asking Ken'ichi." Byakuya shut him up without even sparing a glance.  
"And I'm talking to you."  
"If it helps, _I'm_ not talking to you, Quincy."

Translating that from Byakuya language to Ichigo language, it meant, "Shut your trap, four-eyed bow-wielding monster." There was a sharp gasp across the room except for Ichigo who was snickering.

"Ken'ichi, I don't like having to repeat myself."

Pink!

Ken'ichi gulped. Byakuya's patience regarding such matters was shorter than usual.

Pink!

"Answer him, grandson!" Isshin was now twirling around the room rather disturbingly and Rukia had chosen to inch towards Ichigo in case her loving father-in-law felt like giving out free glomps again.

"Tell him!" Isshin said again and stopped behind Ken'ichi and Yui before pulling their heads together and squeezing his face in between.

"Tell him of your wonderful adventure on knowledge and insight and life!"

It was too late before Yui could suppress that depressed groan that had been dying to come out since the whole catastrophe started. Byakuya looked at Yui and then at Ken'ichi. Both of them were strangely pink and could not look at anyone properly while being rather uneasy. Byakuya sighed inwardly, and upon assuming that no one would give him an answer worthy of a noble's presence, he immediately started to stitch up the little clues in front of him.

The Quincy was mad… Probably as mad as when the time Ichigo saw Ikkaku yell at his daughter as if she were his Vice-Captain. Nearly everyone was there; even Urahara; even Issh— no, wait, Ishhin was everywhere — even Ryuken was there. Isshin was squeezing the Quincy girl and his grandson.

Wonderful adventure on knowledge and insight…

And life.

For some reason, Byakuya was feeling rather uneasy. When had he felt this again?

It was not hard to recall.

Byakuya's eyes shifted to Ichigo who was still raising an eyebrow. He then shifted to Rukia who immediately gulped as if she were at fault.

"Ken'ichi." Byakuya said again but still looking at Rukia and her husband. Isshin was still holding Ken'ichi's head so only the boy's eyes moved to see his ojisama. Yui gulped as softly as she could when Byakuya continued, "What did you do with or to the Quincy girl?"

"My daughter has a name and it's Ishida Yui."

"I see you like to talk a lot these days, Quincy." Byakuya said coolly with his eyes closed, "But if you keep on talking about _irrelevant_ things, that could pose as a problem for you, though."

"Okay, then, would you like to know a _relevant_ secret?" Uryuu raised his head mockingly at Byakuya who wasn't responding, "For your high and noble information, Kuchiki Byakuya-_sama_, your eldest and favorite _nephew_ just managed to deflower my innocent daughter Yui."

Yui immediately grabbed Ken'ichi's hand as Isshin straightened to twirl beside Byakuya whose woodblock face had not changed.

"Joy, isn't it, Kuchiki Byakuya!" Isshin was doing weird wavy gestures beside the sixth squad captain who still had his arms crossed, "You're gonna be a grandfather! The giant flame that welcomes new grandfathers will be opened for you, Ichigo and Uryuu so that—"

"I'm not lighting up anything, you—!" Uryuu was gritting his teeth.  
"Not until you solve your son's gender issues!" Orihime was desperately trying to get her husband's attention.  
"I'm _not gay_!" Ryu's voice was shaking in annoyance, "How many times do I have to tell you people!"

"When did this happen?" Byakuya's tone had not changed but somehow Ken'ichi shivered and the captain added, "If anyone other than Ken'ichi or Yui answers me, I will not be very happy."

Oh, and it was not nice to make Byakuya _unhappy_.

"T-T-This morning." Ken'ichi managed to say.  
"Where?" Byakuya again.  
"A-a-a… In my room."  
"God damn it." Ichigo and Uryuu said in unison as their shoulders both fell.

Byakuya glanced at Ichigo as if to demand an explanation.

"WHAT!" Ichigo complained, "I was with Rukia in Sereitei when that happened!"

Byakuya then glanced at the Ishida couple.

"I had a hospital to attend to!" Uryuu reasoned.  
"I'm just a plain housewife worried about my son's gender crisis!"

Everyone ignored the sob of "I'm not gay, you bunch of insensitive freaks" in the background as Byakuya released a heavy sigh.

"So when are you planning to wed them?" Byakuya asked.  
"I've wanted to ask that." Ryuken said lowly.  
"Wed…" Rukia said as if in a deep trance, "Wedding?"  
"Yes, wedding. It's important, of course!" Isshin was speaking in a sing-song voice as he pretended to walk like a bride, "Young hearts bound as one…!"

"Are you _insane_?" Uryuu bellowed as his hands moved violently in front of him seeming as though he was the only one making sense among a whole group of stupid cows hanging from the bumper of a truck that ran over them, "I can't let my daughter marry a _Shinigami_!"

"And why _not_?" Orihime was not talking of Ryu's assumed non-existent homosexuality for the first time since her little theory-formulation.  
"Because!" Uryuu replied insistently, "I mean, come on…!"  
"URYUU!" Orihime glared with her tensing shoulders, clenched fists, furrowed eyebrows and puffed cheeks, "Would you not have married me if I had been Shinigami!"  
"I-It's not that…"  
"Would you just have had sex with me for the hell then leave me crying, alone, heart-broken and torn if in a whirlwind of a turn I had been Shinigami…!"

Ryu forgot that he was being accused of being gay for a moment and cringed both that his mother could've been a poor little damsel and that she actually said the "s" word in front of them minors — though the two beside him right now would actually pass as classified.

"O-O-Orihime…" Uryuu was scratching his head.

"HOW COULD YOU!" Orihime immediately plopped on the floor and started to wail like a little girl who lost her balloon. Rukia gasped and went to her to comfort her since Uryuu was too panicky to do anything.

"I didn't mean—"

"YES, YOU ARE MEAN!" Orihime continued to wail as she clung to Rukia who was murmuring sensible words to calm her down. Rukia barely knew anything about calming down women but in her decades of exposure to Ishida Orihime, she had learned a thing or two in dealing with women like _her_ at least.

"Orihime, please stop crying." Uryuu said again and looked at Ichigo as if to say, "Give me a hand at least."

The girl continued to cry in the middle of the Kurosaki living room where nearly everyone had gathered. Uryuu looked at his sobbing wife and scratched his head.

"B-b-b-but Rukia…!" Orihime continued talking to the other wife in the room, "Please help me, Rukia!"

Rukia just wanted to hear the end of it already. With a serious look, she glanced at Uryuu and said flatly, "Uryuu, I do believe that a wedding between our children would be easier."

"What do you mean?" Uryuu raised an eyebrow.  
"Or do you think a divorce is cheaper?" Rukia was slightly raising her head at Uryuu who gasped. Orihime raised her head and looked at her husband then immediately spoke, "That's right, Uryuu. Do you think a divorce is cheaper than a wedding?"

Uryuu's face was trying not to frown and cry at the same time. He had never felt so wordlessly helpless in his entire life. His daughter was no longer innocent. His son was too innocent that he could be gay. And his wife was now threatening to leave him if he did not give blessing to the nuptial.

Shinigami witch.

The husband released a disappointed yet defeated sigh. Orihime's face lit up and looked at Uryuu. He nodded. She smiled.

"OH, YUI-CHAN!" Orihime flung her arms around her daughter, "Otousan's going to have so much _fun_ stitching your wedding dress for you! And okasan will be more than delighted to come up with a design!"

Yui blinked. At least her mother wasn't volunteering to do the menu and it's a good thing wedding dresses weren't _cooked_. She looked at Ken'ichi whom she expected to have a mouth open like a cave, which he did.

"So…" Ryuken was talking to Uryuu, "Are you going to move in here?"

Uryuu sighed as he rubbed his chin and said, "Well, if I'm not sure whether I'll like it here but if it can not be helped."

"Hooooold it!" Ichigo was frowning "Moving? Moving _where_?"

"It's a Quincy custom." Ryuken explained as straightened his clothes, "Whenever the girl gets married, the father lives with his future son-in-law to see if he indeed is a proper husband for his daughter and so that he may shape him to being one."

"What the crap are you _saying_!?" Ichigo complained, "Uryuu will be staying here!?"  
"Unfortunately, that might be the case." Uryuu replied.  
"My house is not an inn, you fools! And why do you look like you're the one who's going to be so burdened, four eyes!?"

"Whatever the case may be, Rukia…" Byakuya was speaking with his eyes closed as he straightened his scarf, "I am in no way sharing my room."  
"Hai, oniisama…" Rukia replied with a bow.

"What the hell, _you're_ staying here, too!?" Ichigo stormed towards Byakuya, "This has nothing to do with you!"  
"As a matter of fact, this has everything to do with me." Byakuya said and got up, "Ken'ichi just might be my heir to lead the Kuchiki clan and it is my duty as the current leader to make sure this does not interfere with it."  
"Since when did my son have anything to do with leading your clan to begin with!" Ichigo grabbed Byakuya by the scarf and the noble looked at the low-life hand that was desecrating his worth-ten-mansions of a heirloom.  
"Ichigo, that was ever since you _married_ me." Rukia said seriously.

"But, Rukia, you're _adopted_!" Ichigo frustratingly replied as he released Byakuya rather violently. There were gasps across the room and Rukia's already wide eyes widened some more. It was only then that Ichigo realized that she was biting her lip and that were eyebrows were furrowing and her eyes were watering and…

BA-BAM!

His face met the floor.

That's it. He was just playing _dead_.

- End of Part 7 -

* * *

Author: I knew it took me two months. I've been doing a lot and I've been through a lot and I still am in a big mess of various proportions but, hey, I managed to upload this now so I would like to plead for you to let me live… -innocent smile- I don't have a computer at hand right now… I'm hoping to get it back and the soon, though so help me pray for it. Incense, anyone?

I am flattered, happy and grateful for all the mail and PM's I've received. Thank you very, very much for all your support. I will try my hardest not to disappoint you. Thank you so much! I'm sorry if I have barely replied to your PM's since I could barely check the email address I use for this account but if you do want to send me some mail, try using the address in my profile!

Cheerios, cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love! I LOVE YOU, GUYS!

And if in case you don't hate me… REVIEW PLEASE!


	8. Oh My G!

**We're No Longer Ten  
**_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 08: Oh My G!**

* * *

Yui quietly sat alone in the kitchen of the Kurosaki house as she contemplated on the tumble turn of things that day. She was resting her chin on her hands as she leaned forward on the table. Her legs were crossed and she looked out the window to her right. She was still there because she had to finish the Physics project with Ken'ichi. Her father and Ken'ichi's father had something to discuss and she resorted to running to the kitchen for comfort. What a day. She was going to be married. She was no longer a virgin. Her brother was in trauma. Ken'ichi was her fiancé. Her father was going nuts. Her grandfather was disappointed. Kuchiki-taichou was in deep contemplation. Kurosaki-daikou was going bonkers. Her mother was excited. It seemed as though Kurosaki Rukia-san was the only one sporting sanity until anything regarding rabbits were concerned.

"Why are you sad?" Said a rather small voice. Yui looked down and a very small boy with light wings was sitting with legs spread in front of her and almost between her elbows. His hair was bluish white and sported a small mole on the left part of his nose. He flashed his bright blue eyes at her as he tilted his head, which was almost being eaten by a floppy collar that looked like it was five sizes too big for him.

"Yui-chaaan!" It insisted at her and kicked one of his legs. The large boot on his leg made a thudding sound against the table.  
"What?" Yui replied.  
"I said… Why are you sad?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you out?" she replied with a question. The small person got annoyed and puffed its cheeks but did not bother to get up as it pointed, "Answer my question with an answer! I asked first!"  
"Oh?" Yui kept her eyebrow raised.  
'What do you mean 'oh'?" The little boy was still sitting but had his hands on his waist, "I asked you why you're sad and you reply with "oh"? Is that even _legal_? With all due respect, I— MMP!"

Yui silenced the little person by clamping his head between her thumb and her index finger.

"You talk too much." She said lazily as she watched the little hands remove her fingers.  
"How dare you! Do you know who I am!"  
"Of course, Tai." She smiled rather sweetly at him, "I know who you are."

There was silence. The little boy was looking at her flatly as if asking her annoyingly if she had been mocking him. She continued to smile and Tai grunted, leaving the short argument hanging… for now. He would make her suffer for this ridicule later if it indeed was.

"And so why are you out?" she asked him, "Are you worried about me?"

"Ohohoho!" Tai looked away with a pout, "Tai worried about _Yui-chan_? Sorry but it's not that. I just feel so irritated when Yui-chan's looking like that. I'm a gentleman, you know. And it's up to the men to make sure girls like you don't cry."

"Oh?" Yui's index finger landed on his hair.  
"AGH!" Tai pushed her finger off before desperately fixing his ruined hair into place, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I came out here to ask you about Yui-chan's sadness and _this_ is what I get!?"  
"Gomen, ne…" Yui said, "It's just that a lot has happened and I've been busy thinking."

Tai opened his small mouth say something when someone entered from the kitchen door. Yui straightened and looked as Tai peeked from behind Yui's arms. Kurosaki Ken'ichi was standing in his white shirt and gray Karakura uniform slacks. Ken'ichi was blinking at her but she didn't budge before he regained composure, scratched his head and stepped in.

"Hey there." Ken'ichi said as he walked past her and towards the refrigerator.  
"Hey." Yui replied, following him with her eyes.

The exchange was plain but Tai started to frown and muttered, "Is he annoying you again?"  
"No."

At least not now or not yet.

Tai gasped.

"What?" He was now flying on level with her head, "Is this true that you're saying he's _not_ annoying for once? What has gotten into you? What is wrong? What did he do to you? Oh, I know! He did something to you, didn't he!? He drugged you or something! Ah! No! He used a certain technique on you. That Shinigami scum… I should've known that stupid technique of his when he started kis—"

"Woah, there!"

A light from Yui's flower-shaped ring darted out and hovered beside Tai. There was a red-haired girl in very long pigtails and a pink robe tied with belts and leather gloves and leather boots with wings at the heels.

"Tai, you better come in with me." The girl grabbed the boy's wrist.  
"What are you saying, Fuyu!? I'm in the middle of contemplation here, mind you!"

"TAI!" the girl hollered and in one pull, the both of them disappeared as light flashing back to form two petals of Yui's Shun Shun Rikka.

Yui smiled and looked at the refrigerator door covering part of Ken'ichi's body as he bent to raid the refrigerator. He was muttering something when an apple fell out and started to roll away. Ken'ichi cursed, dropping a few small chocolate bars on the floor before straightening.

"Klutz." Yui sighed as she got up and walked towards the apple.  
"Sor-ry." Ken'ichi started picking up the chocolates, "Never knew it was a crime to be human."

"Hnh." Yui said and looked at the apple before rubbing it against her white blouse. She had removed her gray coat earlier for comfort. Ken'ichi walked towards her and extended his hand as if to ask for the apple back. She looked at the open palm, looked at the apple and then at him. Ken'ichi grunted again and offered her one of the chocolate bars before she smiled and handed the apple in exchange.

"How're the adults handling it out there?" Yui asked as she opened the wrapper.  
"So-so." He said as he walked towards the counter and took out a knife from the drawer.  
"Liar." Yui pushed the chocolate bar out.

"Tsch. Then why are you asking?" Ken'ichi snickered. The sound of the apple being sliced in two, the knife hitting the board and the chocolate bar being bitten danced in the previously quiet atmosphere. Yui chewed as she looked at Ken'ichi who was now preparing to cut the apple in four. For some reason, he did not peel the apple and did not even bother washing it. What was with this man? It fell on the floor, for crying out loud! Yui swallowed and continued to watch when Ken'ichi looked at her. She was unable to stifle a gasp and started to choke on a small part she was chewing. Ken'ichi gasped as well, running to the refrigerator to get her bottled water. After immediately unscrewing the cover, he handed it to her and she drank it to relieve herself.

"When did you turn into an idiot?" Ken'ichi asked her as she breathed a bit heavily. She frowned at him but did not say anything. Ken'ichi shrugged and walked away to take out a bowl and put the apple chunks in it before washing it under running water.

"What are you doing?" Yui asked and walked beside him, "Shouldn't you have done that _before_ you sliced the apple?"  
"In which part of the Japanese Constitution does it say that?" Ken'ichi laughed as he took one apple slice and bit off it.  
"Well…" Yui watched and Ken'ichi took another slice and handed it to Yui who shook her head.

Ken'ichi frowned.

"Take one." He said and ate the rest of the chunk he had bitten of earlier.  
"No. You washed it after you sliced it." Yui moved her head away.  
"Doesn't mean it's not edible." He walked towards her. She sensed he was up to something no good again.  
"Ken'ichi, don't you _dare_ do anything stupid…!" Yui was starting to back, "I'm warning you!"

Ken'ichi stopped at his tracks.

"You're not going to eat this?" he raised the threatening apple chunk and Yui gulped before shaking her head slowly.  
"Are you _sure_?" Ken'ichi asked again. She nodded even slower.

"Fine." He said, "Be that way."

He slightly turned to go and just when Yui relaxed, he whipped towards her, grabbed her and clamped her head with one arm as he tried forcing the apple into her mouth. The girl lost balance for a while and Ken'ichi's legs seemed to have severed her lower body movement by tangling against hers.

"AH! Ken'ichi!" Yui complained, veering her head away from the abominable apple Ken'ichi was forcing into her digestive system, "What are you doing!"  
"I went through the trouble to slice this up for us to share and you tell me you don't want it!" he replied as her hands pushed against his hand.  
"You could've just _washed_ it first! It fell on the floor!"

"I _did_ wash it!" Ken'ichi insisted with wide eyes and gripping her tighter against him so that she had little space to move. Yui cringed and shook her head. Last time she remembered, it was _Eve_ who was trying to tell Adam to eat the delicious, sinful, unwashed apple from the Forbidden Tree. Adam took it. God got angry and banished them from Paradise. Moral lesson? _Never_ take an apple that's being forced into your mouth especially if it wasn't washed properly.

"I'm not eating that!"  
"Yes, you are!"  
"If you want it eaten so badly, why don't _you_ put it in your mouth!"  
"FINE!"

Ken'ichi put the whole chunk of apple in his mouth and started chewing heavily while frowning at her. Yui gulped. In an instant, his gripped tightened and he stopped chewing.

Had she won? Did he give up? Why wasn't he releasing her?

Was it over?

Holy hell. No. He hadn't swallowed.

Yui resorted to clamping her lips together to prevent him from doing anything concerning that apple being in her mouth. And then Ken'ichi did what Yui only saw in survival movies. Ken'ichi pressed his mouth against hers and attempted to force her it open. She squirmed and writhed against him but he held on. That apple seemed to be nothing else but his torn pride — the fruit of his love she dared to reject. How utterly corny! She should really smack him for it.

But Ken'ichi was stronger than her in this round and she had no choice but to take in that abominable pride of his into her mouth. She felt his tongue flicker against hers as if trying to coax her into something but she was too occupied with the apple to care. How could he possibly think of anything erotic when she had apple somethings being forced into her mouth after being chewed on by someone else!

"Shew." He said without releasing her or her mouth for that matter. Yui frowned.  
"Hau hen hai? Houwr hongue hish hinhide!" Yui responded.

For some people, it sounded like two aliens telling each other about taking over the Earth but it was actually Ken'ichi telling Yui to chew and Yui asking him how since his tongue was inside. After that seemingly logical and short conversation, Ken'ichi frowned and—

"YOU GOD DAMN PERVERTED KUROSAKI SHINIGAMI!"

To Ishida Uryuu, the words "damn" and "perverted" were now associated with "Shinigami" and "Kurosaki". The arrangement of the words and the stress on them was so intense it could drive Ichigo to Bankai and Isshin to pull out a dictionary and break down the etymology of their names to prove something totally unrelated. Ken'ichi's arms immediately released the female Quincy body and realized it soon enough so as not to send her unbalanced on the floor. He caught her again and Yui clutched onto him for balance in vain.

"UNHAND MY DAUGHTER, YOU!"

Too late. Yui's foot slipped. Ken'ichi's feet got tangled. They hit the floor. There was a thud. Yui was saying something but Ken'ichi was too busy trying to tell his mind to prepare for the wrath of the Quincy father if he failed the out of body experience he was trying to pull off.

Ishida Uryuu was _so_ going to kill him.

"KUROSAKI KEN'ICHI!"

--

"Lighten up." A small female voice came to Ryu's ears as he sat in front of Ken'ichi's computer while desperately trying to win a game of chess against AI.  
"I'm fine." Ryu replied against the sound of the clicking mouse.

"No, you're not." A brown-haired girl in free long tresses and a long sleeveless pink floral kimono with a white obi and a big white ribbon said as she sat on top of the monitor. The long end of her kimono was covering part of the screen but Ryu did not seem to mind. He was too tired from all the insisting and complaining he had been doing the whole day to argue with his little Shun Shun Rikka fairy any further.

"Ryu…" she said with a small sad face. She moved her feet slightly and her wooden sandals clacked against the monitor's surface and she gasped and looked down if she had done any damage. She bent further and further until she fell forward, Ryu catching her in his hand.

"Gomen, ne…" she scratched her head. Ryu smiled quietly and put her on the table. The girl jumped off his hand and looked at him. Ryu sighed. Sakura was his slicing fairy much like how Tai was Yui's. And while it was Shun'o who would speak in behalf of the flowers to Orihime, Tai and Sakura were the ones who seemed to speak for the next generation of the Rikka.

Ryu leaned back on the chair and put his hands behind his head as he sighed. His father told him to go to Ken'ichi's room to wait for Ken'ichi and Yui and stay with them as they did their project. Just to make sure they actually do the project and not something else, he says. He was about to make his digital chess move when all of a sudden, he felt something familiarly strange and threatening.

Ryu got up and looked around, trying to recognize the feeling and where it was coming from. Sakura had stood up as well and immediately returned into the Rikka in case Ryu had to summon any of them.

Left? Up? From the window? The door?

Where the hell was…?

"Onegai…" said a sleepy female voice that came… from…

Ryu's eyes widened like saucers. A girl with wavy black hair and deep black eyes was _phasing out_ of the wall! Half of her body seemed to be coming out of the solid wall of Ken'ichi's room! If Ryu had not known better, he would've shrieked like a little girl and accused this female of being a ghost!

Especially with those deep, black apathetic eyes of hers.

Now where had he seen those?

"Y-you…!" Ryu looked at the girl as he took one step back, "Who are you!"  
"You..." she began, "Who are you?"

Ryu gulped. She didn't seem to be in the right mind, did she? If she did, she wouldn't be phasing through other people's walls and be the one to demand for the identity of anyone else. Seriously now, if Ryu belonged to a _normal_ family, he would have blacked out on the spot or ran for his sanity. And now she was tilting her head rather disturbingly but what she said after was just _beyond_ alarming.

"Would you like to be the father of my child?"

WHAT!

But even before he could say what went across his mind (excluding all the curses), she phased through. She was barefoot and was wearing a flowing plain white dress. Ryu gulped as he seemingly floated towards him. She extended her arms towards him and in an instant, she was gone. Ryu opened his mouth but even before he could gasp, she was immediately in front of him. Holy sheep! Shunpo! Her face was so close and all of a sudden, she lunged at him from mid-air. It almost seemed like a tackle and Ryu yelped in surprise as the weight fell on him and they fell on the floor.

There was a loud thud and Ryu worried that someone downstairs might have heard. That could be both good and bad. However, he didn't really have the time to be bothered by that now that he had this girl clinging to him all of a sudden.

"HEY!" Ryu complained but stopped as soon as he felt her arms encircling him. Delicate fingers. He could feel something from her touch. He was a man so it was natural that he felt some sensation upon this but the whole circumstance was _insane_! She looked up at him and he swallowed upon looking at her eyes...

Familiar, indeed.

"I said…" she spoke rather calmly as if it were nothing, "Would you like to be the father of my child?"

"What are you _saying_!?" Ryu blasted and pushed himself up but it only took one strong palm of hers to push him back on the floor again. Ryu winced and in one swift movement, she kissed him. Ryu felt numb, so numb that he had no strength to open his tightly squeezed eyes. He had not been kissed by any girl before and he had not been in this kind of position before. Her lips were against his and her arms were around him. She was on top of him and half of her body was between his legs with his knees raised. Her skirt was revealing a good deal of her thighs but she did not seem to mind even as Ryu's hand had accidentally landed on it. Ryu knew he had to remove his hand but for some reason, he could not move. He felt like he was burning. Great, was he sick?

How did it escalate to this? First, he was playing chess. Then, she came through the _wall_. And now she wants him to be the father of her child!? If next he was going to be molested, it wouldn't be shocking at all.

She was in the middle of pushing her tongue into his partly open mouth when he released a moan, relaxing his shut eyes. He didn't know why, though. Hormones, perhaps. The girl tilted her head for a bit of comfort and it was then that Ryu realized that she was reaching for the end of his shirt.

Oh, shit.

Ryu moaned again as he felt her palms against his body.

Oh, shit, his father was going to kill him but he could not move. He knew he had to. In fact, he wanted to. But it seemed as though will power was not enough. It was as though the mere presence of this female stranger was enough to bring him weird sensations. Her touch was insane and his skin against hers seemed to bring forth a strange kind of heat. This was not normal. He had held a lot of girls before. He had been glomped and smooched on the cheek but nothing like this happened. For a Quincy like him who was trained to be in control of everything from hormones to emotions, this right here was _not_ normal at all.

_Please, Kami-sama, don't let this girl be an alien!_

The burning sensation was almost maddening and yet he did not know this woman. She seemed to be of his own age. She seemed to be familiar but she was not. If they had met, Ryu was sure he would remember. How often did he come across women who could phase through walls and look for copulation mate anyway?

Well, his mother would be glad that… he wasn't gay.

The "G" word did it and he tore off from the sudden bliss that swept through him just when the girl was reaching for his pants. She gasped only slightly but still barely showed emotion even though both of them were breathing heavily.

"Look, tell me who you are." Ryu said between huffs as he looked at her and tried to recall who she was if he indeed meet her before.  
"Why?" She tilted her head again. It was rather disturbing. She seemed to be too innocent.  
"You don't come into people's rooms and phase through their walls and ask them to… be the father of your child… and get into their pants without telling them your name, you know…!"

The girl did not reply. Great, it seemed as though she did not understand. Perhaps if they got into a more _comfortable_ position then maybe they could both think straight. Ryu then proceeded to get her off him but she held on fast even as he sat up.

"Are you leaving?" She asked him. There was a tinge of pleading in her voice.  
"Let go of me." He replied plainly as he gripped her arms.  
"Where are you going?" She asked again, holding fast.  
"I said let go of me!" Ryu glared.

"AND I ASKED WHERE YOU ARE GOING!" she almost shrieked and sent a reiatsu wave purely at him. Ryu gasped at the excellent way she had performed the angry shoot of energy. There was no excess reiatsu flowing out of the room. It seemed to feel just like a strong long shot through him to shake his senses. And he gasped, leaving his mouth open as he felt sweat trickle on his back.

He was right. None of this was normal.

Who was this girl?

"I wish to bear your child."

She drew nearer.

"H-h-h-hey, wait… MISS!"

Too late. She had placed her lips on his again and started kissing him. For the second time, Ryu's knees gave out along with all of his senses and he moaned. Her delicate hands explored his body and he moaned some more. It was like she was eating up his strength and converting it to desire with sheer touch. If this were a fighting move, it could instantly kill him. This was a bit embarrassing but it felt too good for Ryu to care.

Wait. What was he _saying_!?

Resist, god damn it. On the Quincy pride, resist. RESIST! MUST RESIST!

Her hands traced on his chest. Her fingers tapped slightly here and there. Whatever patterns she was making, he wasn't in the right mind to observe.

God damn it. What pride? Quincy? Who was Quincy again?

"Damn…" he said breathlessly, "Who the hell _are_ you?"

The girl was saying something but he could not hear her properly. He could see stray wisps of hair on her face as she started kissing his neck and he never knew that the sight would turn him on so much… Enough for his arms to move and trace random circles on her exposed leg. She moaned against him and he shivered.

Such a strange tinge to her voice!

Whoever this girl was, she was giving him a hard time trying to control his hormones and all the commands he was getting from his manhood. And on the Quincy pride... There seemed to be no Quincy pride.

And there had not been any girl who could do that to Ishida Ryu. Oh, how his fan girls would be mad. They would yell at her and make a scandal out of it… But that could come later. Her fingers seemed to be everywhere and Ryu groaned for some reason. Half of his mind was trying to recover the other half that was lost in bliss and pleasure.

"Do you like this…?" she muttered from the side of her lip as she licked his ear. Ryu moaned in response. In his mind, he said "yes" but in reality, he only made weird sounds.

Oh, good grief, her fingers were entangling with his hair. So good. So good. So good. If his father came in, he was going to be so dead.

But how come it didn't seem to matter now?

Now…

Now that she was raising his shirt to remove it off his head. His heart was rapping madly across his chest. Love? Hell, no. How was he going to be in love with a woman from the wall? Lust? Desire? Excitement?

All of the above.

She took his hand and in Ryu's greatest surprise, she latched his fingers on her left breast. She moaned. He moaned.

Whatever the hell was going on, Ryu was sure of one thing.

He was loving it.

"Woah."

Ryu gasped and immediately removed his hand from where it shouldn't be. Ryu's vision darted towards the window from where the voice was coming from. He had been expecting to see either Mai or Hideki but instead saw someone else in Shinigami robes.

A teenage girl in Shinigami haori and hakama and a Lieutenant's insignia.

Pink hair.

"Y-Yachiru-chan!?"

Ryu sat up and looked at the girl squatting on the window as she mused on watching them.

"Oh, did I disturb you?" the Vice-Captain asked and waved at him, "Go on. Don't mind me."

It was not that Ryu minded but… Well, yeah, he minded.

"What are you doing here?" Ryu asked with a raised eyebrow. The other girl who was still on top of him continued to sniff his neck. She did not seem to mind that Kusajishi Yachiru, Vice-Captain of the Eleventh Division was watching her at all.

"I said don't mind me, Horny Boy-kun." She said with a smile.  
"My name is Ryu!"  
"Oh, Horny Boy Ryu-kun, is it?" Yachiru jumped off the window and into the room.  
"NO!" Ryu complained.

At least she didn't accuse him of being gay.

"Tsk!" Ryu scratched his head and waved at her, "Help me get her off me."

Yachiru started towards them and squatted beside them and said, "Why? You seem to be enjoying yourself. Continue."

"You want us to continue with you staring at us closely like _that_?" Ryu raised an eyebrow as if looking at Yachiru like an idiot, "Have you no sense of decency?"  
"I just want to learn something from the front row!" Yachiru said happily, "I want a baby brother but I don't know how to get it so I have to watch you to get a child!"

Ryu's right eye was twitching. Was she being an idiot on purpose or was she mocking him? Didn't the Shinigami Academy have anything like reproductive system discussion or sex education?

"Are you serious?" Ryu said.  
"Yes, I've learned a bit…!" Yachiru said excitingly, "I learned this!"

Before Ryu could ask what it was, Yachiru neared him and rested his lips on his. His eyes widened. The girl on top of Ryu shrieked.

The door opened.

"RYU!"

Ryu pulled off.

Oh, dear.

"R-R-R-R-R…" Orihime's wavering voice spoke as her fingers reached for her mouth. Ryu was on the floor. A girl in white was on top of him and Kusajishi Yachiru was kissing him.

"O-Okasan, it's not what you…"

"MY SON IS A GIGOLOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Tsch.

Well, at least he wasn't gay.

- End of Part 8 -

* * *

UPDATED!

Author: Well, this is a quick one. If there's anything wrong with it, feel free to tell me… And if there's anything you want to suggest, do tell me…! Right now, I'm so tired, my head is throbbing like hell but I had to finish this. Hope you like it. Bankai to us all! Please review!


	9. Déjà Vu

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 09 : Déjà Vu**

* * *

Ryu had never been in a more awkward situation in his entire life. When his mother entered the room, he was propping himself up on his elbows as he lay on the floor while an anonymous girl in a plain white dress hitched up to her thigh was clinging to him. A teenage Yachiru had just landed him a kiss as soon as his mother entered, which worsened the situation to level five hundred on a scale of one to ten. Orihime gasped and her hand flew to her mouth before running away screaming, "URYUU! URYUU! URYUU!"

"Now look what the both of you did!" Ryu glared both at Yachiru and the newly-arrived girl who was looking at him like she was the most innocent thing on earth. Yachiru did not seem to be listening as she sat formally on the floor and attended to the ends of her hair.

"You have not answered my question…" the anonymous girl said, totally ignoring what Ryu had just said. Ryu's right eye twitched and he breathed in before he tried wringing the life out of her. He was about to yell when he heard thumping footsteps coming towards his room.

Oh holy sheep, that better not be his father!

Ryu immediately poised to get up when he immediately caught sight of Ken'ichi and Yui jumping into the room and slamming the door closed before locking it frantically. After a few seconds, they sighed and turned around, leaning on the door before sliding down into a sitting position saying, "Close call."

"What the hell happened?" Ryu raised an eyebrow at his best friend and his twin sister who only then realized that he was also in the room.

"You see, it's like thi—Huh?" Ken'ichi paused upon seeing two young ladies in the same room with Ryu in a rather suggestive position, "Ryu, what are you doing with them?"

But even before anyone could say anything, the still unnamed girl immediately detached herself from Ryu to give Ken'ichi an inspecting, surprised look. She was crawling towards him, studying his features until she was so close that Ken'ichi felt like he was going to sink into the door. Yui was raising an eyebrow at him. He knew though he didn't look.

"You…" She muttered at Ken'ichi who was tilting his head away from the girl, "You seem highly familiar."  
"Ah, sou ne?" Ken'ichi was laughing wanly, "But I don't think I know you."  
"But I think I do." She whispered some more.  
"R-R-Really?" Ken'ichi gulped.

Was she one of his fan girls? It didn't seem to be that way, though. What the hell was with this woman? Should he immediately shut her up by saying he had a girlfriend slash fiancé right beside him?

"Ryu." Yui said flatly as she looked with aggravated eyes at her "boyfriend's pursuer" and Ryu snapped to attention at his obviously annoyed sister, "Where the hell did you get this girl?"

Right after hearing Yui's voice, the new girl's eyes flashed in scorn towards the female Quincy before making a grab for Yui's neck. Ken'ichi and Ryu gasped in unison and opted to make a grab for her when she suddenly disappeared. They fumbled forward and looked around, realizing that the two girls had sped across the room in what seemed to be shunpo. They were here and then there. They could hear Yui's faint voice and some cackling sounds until they came to a pause by the window. Ken'ichi swallowed hard, surprise hitting him as he and Ryu got up.

"I… I think I have some unfinished business with you!" she was speaking almost menacingly as she tilted her head while both her hands gripped Yui's neck. Yui opened her mouth to say something as she clawed against the fingers that bound her. This hand, this grip, this feeling, this pain, this fright… It was as if it had happened before and it was no déjà vu.

Either way, someone must do something about this girl!

"Santen Kesshun!" Ryu announced and three beams of light shot out from his ring but all it took was a grunt from the new girl and the three fairies that compose his Sacred Links Shield flew off helplessly like swatted flies.

"No way!" Ryu gasped in disbelief. How the hell was she able to do that without even lifting a finger?

"Let me handle this!" Ken'ichi offered and lifted his Shinigami Representative badge when all of a sudden, behind the new girl was pink and black, the sound of a short chop to the back of the head and a low, female whisper.

"That would be enough."

Indeed, Kusajishi Yachiru.

The girl's fingers loosened around Yui's neck and the Ishida girl fell coughing on the ground simultaneous to the other girl's unconscious body in front of her. Yachiru quietly looked at the girl in white as Ken'ichi and Ryu rushed to Yui's side. She was choking reasonably on her knees as she tried stabilizing her mind.

"Are you okay?" Ken'ichi asked as Yui continued to cough and he rubbed her back, "Does it hurt anywhere?"

"I'm okay." Yui smiled faintly, rubbing her neck with her fingers as if reminiscing. The grip was so familiar. It was so familiar that Yui found it skeptical why she couldn't remember strength and reiatsu like _that_. She had been trained as a Quincy for as long as she could remember and dealing with reiatsu and spiritual particles was one of her forte. How then could she not remember?

"Do you know her, Ken'ichi?" Yui managed to say.  
"I don't." he replied.  
"Ryu?" Yui looked at her twin who only shook his head saying, "I don't know her either. She just came through the wall."  
"The… The wall?"

A grip like that, reiatsu so strange and the ability to phase through the wall…

It's not everyday that they encounter such people. Why couldn't she recall who this girl was? She seemed to know Ken'ichi but she did not seem to be Shinigami. It was not making sense.

"Let me look at that."

Ken'ichi removed her fingers around her neck and was surprised to see marks of red on her skin. He traced at it and she winced a bit. These were not traces of pure brute strength. There were remnants of reiatsu on Yui's skin and the Kurosaki boy was sure his girlfriend knew it. Ken'ichi glanced at the unconscious girl that Yachiru was picking up.

Even though she phased through the wall, this girl was no ghost.

Maybe Urahara-san would know?

"YUI-CHAN!" A small voice spoke and the white-haired Solitary Sacred Cutting Shield fairy flew around before seemingly crashing at and hugging Yui's cheek, "Yui-chan! Yui-chan! Are you okay! Why didn't you call us!"

"Did I worry you again?"  
"Yui-chan has no right to do this!" Tai complained and flew off her face.

Ken'ichi blinked. It talked like _it_ owned Yui.

Four other small flashes appeared from Yui's ring. Tai was standing in mid-air with legs apart and arms crossed in his chest. Fuyu was behind him, inspecting Yui as she blinked while three other fairies looked on in worry.

"Sorry to have you worried." Yui smiled faintly.

"You _better_ be sorry!" Tai hollered in his little boy's voice, "Next time Yui-chan is in trouble, just yell… "KOTEN ZANSHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN, I REJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!" and Tai will be there faster than shunpo and hirenkyaku combined!"

"Hai, I'm sure you will." Yui nodded.

"You don't sound like you believe Tai." Tai was now pulling on one side of Yui's cheek, "Say you believe me! Tell me you believe me! Believe meeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"TAI!" Fuyu landed a fist on his head and the younger fairy winced. He glared at her and she glared back and Tai looked away, muttering something about vengeance and someone's head dipped in peanut butter.

"We're just glad you're fine." A sophisticated-looking male fairy said lowly as he looked at his injured mistress. He was dressed in a long black suit and had a tall black hat and white gloves.

"Arigatou, Kohryu."

"And _you_!" Tai looked up at Ryu and swiftly flew in front of the twin brother's face.

"Me?" Ryu blinked at the small being threatening him with the slender finger pointed at him. He looked angry though he was just worried. He had this weird way of expressing his thoughts and only Yui could figure out what he really wanted to say.

"Yes, _you_! Do I look like I'm talking to anyone else!" Tai yelled and immediately kicked Ryu's nose, "What are you standing there for! Look at Yui-chan's neck! It's not like she can heal herself!"

"Tai, I want you to shut up this instant!" said a hollering female voice and out of Ryu's ring came a girl with golden eyes and long, straight black hair wearing a patterned red and black dress with white laces. Tai pouted and inched a bit back.

"Don't talk to _my_ Ryu like that!" she shrieked, "Or else I will see to it that I kill you by my own hands."  
"Oh _yeah_!?" Tai posed in mid-air, "Want me to let you try it!?"

Ryu sighed. This was his "maiden fairy to the rescue".

"Shiniele." Ryu called.  
"Yessssss, my dear?" She hummed as she flew towards him and fluttered her eyelids.  
"Do me a favor."  
"Anything, darling." She said and sat on his shoulder.

Ryu pouted at Yui's little fairy that was ordering him around. Seriously, he could grab this little imp and demand for an apology. Yui would kill him though. The last time he tried hitting Tai with a notebook resulted to Yui nearly throwing him out the window after ramming him with a hardbound almanac.

"Ryu-kun…" one of Yui's female fairies muttered. She had long, curly violet hair and was wearing a ruffled dress and a white rose on her left ear, "Would you mind calling out Iana and Ryana for Yui-chan?"

What was her name again?

Right. Tomoyo.

"Do me a favor, Shiniele. I'm going to call out the healing shield. Please return to the Rikka." Ryu smiled his cute smile and Shiniele swooned for a while before obliging without question. Ryu looked at Tomoyo who was quietly looking at him. Her skin was fair. Her cheeks were pink. She had these white little gloves with ruffles and little ribbons.

Wasn't she so adorable? If only all of Yui's flower fairies were like that.

"Come on! Call out Iana-chan and Ryana-chan!" Tai seconded.

Not _that_.

Ryu dismissed all thoughts of homicide and instead called up his Twin Sacred Return Shield to reject all injuries on his sister. Yui smiled and mouthed a "Sorry" at Ryu who shrugged and nodded.

"And _you_!" Tai flew towards Ken'ichi and landed on his head, pulling on his hair, "What kind of man are you letting the lady get hurt like that!"  
"OW!" Ken'ichi complained, trying to swat away the little person that was trying to injure his scalp, "For a little guy, I'm surprised you do a lot of talking!"  
"For a larger guy, I'm surprised you did _nothing_!"

"Okay, okaaaaaaay, rest time, everyone!" Fuyu clapped her hands and three flashes returned to form the ring petals while Tai insisted on waging war on Kurosaki Ken'ichi's scalp. Seriously now, Ken'ichi thought, now here was something shampoo couldn't rinse off his hair. Fuyu sighed and grabbed Tai by the arm before dragging him back into the ring, the boy's voice trailing off in complaint.

Ken'ichi rubbed his head. If that little boy left a scratch on his scalp, he was going to get it big time.

"Yachiru-chan…" Yui began as yellow light surrounded her neck where the red marks slowly diminished. Yachiru looked at Yui who continued, "Who is she?"

Yachiru wet her lips and looked at the unconscious body sprawled on the floor. The pink-haired fukutaichou sighed and, with one hand, picked her up with much ease before asking Ken'ichi, "May I put her on your bed?"

"S-sure." Ken'ichi shrugged, "Go ahead. Just make sure she doesn't wreck it or something."

Ryu shivered at the sight of Yachiru carrying another body like it was a box. The Vice-Captain lifted her as if it was the most normal thing in the world and put her on the bed. The two fairies finished their rejection process and promptly returned to Ryu's Rikka. Yui felt around her neck as if the fingers were still there. Yachiru looked at the Quincy girl, smiled and said, "You do not recognize."

Yui did not answer.

So they _were_ supposed to know this girl. Question was…

"Recognize what?" Ryu blinked.  
"Ara, Quincies are slow, aren't they?" Yachiru scratched her head.  
"I HEARD THAT!" A holler was across the door and Ryu fidgeted in surprise. That was _obviously_ his suddenly-over reactive father.

And what followed was a rather disturbing conversation beyond the door.

"Uryuu, something's wrong with our son!" That was Orihime.  
"Everyone, I want you to calm down." Rukia was speaking in a serious tone.  
"I saw Ryu kissing Yachiru-chan…"  
"How can I calm down when my daughter is in there with your son… _again_!" Uryuu's hell breaking loose.  
"… And another girl caressing him…"  
"I just said…" Rukia again.  
"…And he seemed to like it…"  
"What the hell is going on _this_ time!" Ichigo's approaching voice.  
"…And he was so surprised when he saw me…"  
"You stepped on my _foot_, kozo."  
"You're in _my_ _mansion_, _NIISAMA._"  
"…And the girls did not seem to care…"  
"Everyone, just _please_…"  
"RUKIA, GET MY DAUGHTER OUT OF YOUR SON'S ROOM!"  
"DON'T YELL AT MY WIFE, YOU FOUR-EYED MONSTER!"  
"MY SON IS A MAN NOW!"  
"STOP CAUSING A RUCKUS IN MY HOUSE, YOU SHIT-ASS BASTARDS!"

There were several crashes beyond the door.

The adolescents did _not_ want to know why.

Great, Ryu's mother probably told theadults _everything _she saw, which was wrong by all means. Now that she thinks he's turned into a man, she's probably going to tell it to Kurosaki Isshin, who will make a big deal out of it again… Like he always did. He was sincerely not doing a threesome with Yachiru and who-the-hell girl. And it was not like he was making out with his own will. He tried to resist. The intention was there… It's just that… it kind of… felt good.

And… well…

"Ne, Horny Boy-kun, is that a Quincy outside, too?" Yachiru was pointing at the door as she looked at Ryu whose eyebrow began twitching. This girl did _not_ know when to stop, did she? If this person had been a pink-haired high school student then Ryu would've thrown caution to the wind and clobbered him with every ounce of anger he had to release while screaming, "FOR SPARTAAAAAAAANS!"

"That's my _father_ out there and my _name_ is RYU!"  
"Oh, right. Horny Boy Ryu-kun."

Ryu grunted and turned around to count to ten before he picked a fight with this girl. Ken'ichi was signaling for Yachiru to stop commenting. The Lieutenant blinked, totally missing the message and opened her mouth to say something when a voice from beyond the door spoke again.

"Ken'ichi."

Serious. That was his mother's _serious_ tone — his mother's serious, Kuchiki bankai tone, actually.

"H-Hai, Okasan…?" Ken'ichi immediately stood up.  
"Open up."

Oh, that was Byakuya-ojisama. Better not keep him waiting before pink shreds his door into smithereens! Ken'ichi got up rather clumsily as he approached the door, twisted its knob and sprung it open. Beyond that was the image of his mother with her arms crossed and his ojisama standing with his emotionless face. Ken'ichi blinked.

What happened to the other voices earlier?

Ken'ichi's eyes moved to the left of the small hallway where Ichigo, Uryuu and Orihime had backed as if jumping out of the danger zone with Rukia as the center.

"O-okasa—"  
"Move." Rukia's eyes narrowed.

It sounded like "Bankai".

DANGER ZONE!

Ken'ichi stepped — no, _leaped_ aside, revealing the room having Ryu who had his back on the door; Yui who was sitting on the floor; Yachiru who was standing by the bed; and an unconscious anonymous girl on Ken'ichi's bed.

"Konnichiwa!" Yachiru waved at Byakuya who was already in a gigai wearing his black button-up polo shirt and white pants, which, to him, were classified under "house clothes" whereas Ichigo classified it as "shit-ass excuse to wear too formal clothing at home".

"Konnichiwa." Byakuya replied flatly and looked at the person on the bed.  
"Kusajishi-fukutaichou?" Rukia's expression softened, "K-Konnichiwa…"  
"Hello, Rukia-saaaaaaan!" Yachiru smiled.

"What are you…" Rukia said as she and her brother entered the room. The Kurosaki wife approached her son's bed and looked at the unconscious girl before finishing her sentence, "… doing here?"

Rukia blinked as she sat on the bed and that was all it took for the seemingly sleeping girl's eyes to snap open. Rukia gasped in surprise as the girl sat up and her arm shot out like a bullet from a gun. Fingers immediately grabbed for Rukia's hair.

Those fingers seemed to be burning.

"YOOOOOUUUU!" the girl cackled menacingly.

Rukia would recognize this _anywhere_ and _anytime_! This girl… She was…

"Okasan!" Ken'ichi used his Shinigami Representative badge but Byakuya and Yachiru were quicker. The older Kuchiki made a grab for Rukia by the shoulders while Yachiru hit the back of the attacker's head using her Zanpakutou's sheath. For the second time in a few moments, the girl fell unconscious and Rukia gaped in shock as she shivered. Byakuya tightened his hands on her shoulders to stabilize her.

"Rukia!" Ichigo made a grab for his wife from her brother and turned her towards him so that he could study her, "What happened to you!? Are you hurt anywhere!?"

"I'm…" Rukia was fixing her hair as she looked at her husband, "I'm okay."  
"Sheesh, you stupid midget!" Ichigo sighed in relief as his fingers loosened on her shoulders but did not release her, "Don't _scare_ us like that!"

Rukia looked at her husband who immediately understood the silent acknowledgement.

"Kusajishi-fukutaichou…" Rukia muttered at Yachiru as Ichigo straightened and the Ishida couple entered, "What is she doing here?"

Yachiru looked at Byakuya. Rukia noticed and looked at her brother.

"Niisama." Rukia turned to the Kuchiki clan leader, "Do you know why she is here?"

Kuchiki Byakuya was not answering. If it was he did not want to or if he was thinking, no one was sure. But he was looking at Rukia with only his eyes moving. Ichigo frowned with a tinge of confusion and looked at Rukia and then at the sleeping girl that was causing all this.

His eyes widened.

"THAT GIRL!"

"Niisama, why is she here?" Rukia immediately repeated before Ichigo could burst some more. Her hand searched for Ichigo's and she found it and locked fingers with it as if to earn some push to say her next line that would wrap up so much and open a lot more.

"What is Aizen Andjaliria doing here?"

- End of Part 9 -

* * *

Author: I have been sick. I have no PC. I have returned to school. I have little time. I know it took long but please bear with me. Thank you for all the kind notes I have been receiving from you guys. I love you all. Thank you. I hope you continue reading and reviewing. If you still love me, please review.

Cheerios, cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love.


	10. Conversations

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 10 : Conversations**

* * *

Renji wanted to sigh but it just wouldn't come out as he stared at the bald, bearded man sat behind the large desk where several stacks of paper were resting. The old man was busily doing brush strokes as his Lieutenant stood behind him with a few folders in hand. Behind Renji was the large office door where the insignia for the First Squad was proudly printed. Renji looked at the papers he was holding. Ever since Byakuya left for the living world, he had to take care of all the signing, stamping and thinking in the office. Sure it was a little more comfortable moving around the office without someone looking at the details such as the small pieces of discarded paper on the floor, the ink blot on the corner of the page, the uncovered ink bottle, the disarrayed brushes on the side of the table, the partly open drawers and the little things that are out of order. Even though _Kuchiki-taichou_ does not often speak, Renji felt like his Captain was thinking it.

"Abarai, how long do you plan on standing there like a stiff rod?" Yamamoto-sotaichou's thick voice snapped Renji from the image of the Sixth Squad Captain's office.  
"Ah… S-sir, yes, sir." The Lieutenant fidgeted with the seemingly inappropriate answer but just as Renji was about to take one step towards the table, the large door behind him opened.

"YAMA-JII!"

From the vigorously opened door emerged another Shinigami who mercilessly and unceremoniously proceeded to shove Renji who fumbled forward, trying desperately to keep the stacks of paper in place but failing. The Lieutenant groaned in complaint as he watched the pieces of paper making their landing. With his intricate eyebrows making a frown, Renji turned towards the perpetrator to yell at him and perhaps make him eat his sandals when his sight came across the shade of orange.

"Ichigo!" Renji rushed towards Ichigo.  
"Not talking to you." Ichigo was looking at Yamamoto who was still attending to the papers on his desk.  
"Then I'm talking to you!" Renji growled as he blocked Ichigo, "What makes you think you can push me around!?"

"_This_!" Ichigo lifted his Shinigami Representative badge to emphasize the "rank-equal-to-captain" position he held. And as things stand, Renji was holding the "rank-below-a-captain" position and therefore had no audacity to even block Ichigo or question whatever business it was that he had with General Yamamoto. Renji grunted and shoved Ichigo's hand.

"I can rattle off a lot more but I'm really not a noisy person." Ichigo raised his head at Renji, "But I can be demonstrative. Now out of my way, red riding head."  
"Why you—!"  
"What me?"

"Are you seeing what I see, Choujiro?" Yamamoto was speaking to his Lieutenant as if they were alone and without lifting his attention from paperwork.

"You see the Fourth Squad being needed, sir?" Choujiro-fukutaichou replied as Yamamoto handed one paper to him.

"Yes. And two heads rolling." Yamamoto said as if it were the most normal thing in the world. There were moments of silence wherein Renji fidgeted randomly. Ichigo's eye was twitching and for the second time that day, Ichigo shoved Renji away from him.

"Yo, old man!" Ichigo stormed towards the First Squad Captain, "What's she doing at my place!"

The old captain did not answer.

"I'm talking to you." Ichigo was almost sounding threatening.

There was nothing from the old man.

"ANSWER ME!" Ichigo slammed his palms on the desk and the papers slightly wavered making Yamamoto pause but not remove his eyes from the paper he was attending to. He quietly lifted his brush and paused as if to think before resuming the swishing sound of the fibers against paper.

"Do not test my patience, Kurosaki. There is nothing for you to test."  
"Then try explaining why the hell Aizen's daughter slash clone is _alive_ and in my _house_!"

There was a surprised gasp from Renji and Yamamoto stopped writing. Choujiro Sasakibe-fukutaichou nodded at Renji and then at the door. The red-haired Shinigami nodded abruptly before rushing to the door and making sure it was closed. Yamamoto's eyes landed at Ichigo who was still frowning with palms flat on the desk. The old captain put his brush aside and lifted his head to finally acknowledge a conversation with Ichigo.

"Aizen Andjaliria."

It was no question. Ichigo had not moved from his pose as if a silent demand for the Commander-General to continue.

"So you've seen her."

"Yes, ossan. Seen her. _Again_." Ichigo leaned forward to stress his every intention and emotion. Yamamoto nodded at Choujiro and the Lieutenant nodded before going into a door somewhere to the left of the office table. Ichigo ignored the exchange.

"What is she doing in the living world? Why is she even _alive_?"

Yamamoto paused for moments of thinking but Ichigo was no waiting person.

"I want _answers_, Yama-jii!" Ichigo insisted, "That girl _attacked_ my wife!"  
"Rukia was attacked?" Renji cut in and slowly started towards Ichigo.  
"Yes, as well as Uryuu's daughter and who knows what _else_ she might do!" Ichigo replied while still looking at Yamamoto, "Someone better give me a _very_ good explanation for this!"

"That someone is on the way."

No sooner than Yamamoto had spoken when the wooden door opened. Ichigo and Renji veered their heads to see a captain with dark make-up and a weird hat. His teeth were showing rather disturbingly as his slender, bony fingers scratched the side of his head.

"K-Kurotsuchi-taichou…!" Renji exclaimed and bowed in acknowledgement.  
"Oho?" was Mayuri's only response.

Ichigo straightened, looked at the Eleventh Squad Captain for a while before looking at Yamamoto and said, "So he's the someone, eh?"

"A lot of nerve for a maggot to address me as 'he'." Mayuri said as he stepped towards the large, wooden table, "For all you know, I just happen to be the genius who managed to recompose Aizen's cl—"

"YOU BASTARD!"

That was all it took to tick Ichigo off.

Ichigo glowered as he grabbed Mayuri by the Captain's cape and hurriedly rammed him to the nearest wall. Renji gasped at the sudden violent movement from the Shinigami representative and looked at Yamamoto for any reaction but found the old man simply looking at the exchange. Mayuri's eyes widened only for a while as Ichigo glared at him.

"I suggest you remove your hands, Kurosaki-daikou." Mayuri spoke in a rather neutral threatening voice.  
"I suggest you start explaining, _Kurotsuchi-taichou_." Ichigo pressed on him harder without breaking any eye contact, "I'm not happy."

"Ichigo, calm down for a moment, man…" Renji started towards the Shinigami Captain being assaulted by the Shinigami Representative when Ichigo glared at him to stop him right at his tracks.  
"Calm down?" Ichigo growled almost menacingly at Renji, "The girl who caused big trouble for my family is _alive._ And she is in my _house._"

"Along with her father, I nearly lost my son, my wife… Heck, even my own _life_. All this time, we thought she was dead and now all of a sudden, she comes back! And to top that off, it seems to be _all thanks_ to some people in Sereitei. Now tell me, Renji… How can you expect me to calm down!"

"True enough…" Mayuri said without moving from the position he was in, "It was a bit tricky but I was eventually able to revive Aizen's clone-daughter from her mere reiatsu with the technology and knowledge I used to create Nemu."

"And since when did you have the right to resurrect whoever you wish!?" Ichigo gripped the material harder.  
"Perhaps I should be asking you that, Kurosaki." Mayuri was sneering, "After all, what is Kuchiki Rukia doing alive? Hm?"

Insult.

"WHY YOU FILTHY—!"

"Enough." Yamamoto cut off everything that Ichigo was supposed to say or do. Ichigo grunted and looked at the old man. Mayuri, getting tired of being harassed by the half-wit, orange-haired maggot in front of him, grabbed Ichigo's wrist and pried his hands off the Captain's cape.

"We need Andjaliria to track Aizen." The Commander-General told Ichigo, "The former captain is too dangerous to be left alone — dangerous enough that we resorted to take drastic measures to intercept whatever it is he plans on doing."

"Aizen Andjaliria will lead us to Aizen Sousuke."

Ichigo retained his affixed glare on the First Squad Captain as he suppressed a yell while mumbling out of the side of his lip, "How the hell do you plan on doing that?"

"It will be hard for me to explain but make sure you make your brain work hard to understand." Mayuri replied, earning an angry gaze from the Shinigami Representative, "Andjaliria, who was created from the exact reiatsu of Aizen Sousuke, did not _die_. She _disintegrated_, leaving remnants. Using that, my technology and the same concept as the King and his Key, we plan on constructing a key to lead us to Aizen's whereabouts no matter where that is."

"However, reiatsu in its raw form will become spirit particles and, in time, will be lost. Therefore, the reiatsu must be housed in a body or a soul. Thus, the resurrection of Andjaliria."

"Isn't funny, Kurosaki? Did you not use the same method in bringing your wife back to life? Seriously we must thank you."

The human-Shinigami grunted.

"I will let that unwanted comment of yours slide for now." Ichigo spoke in a threatening tinge, "Right now, I want that girl _out of my house._"

"That is not possible." Mayuri replied, "The specimen can not be in a place surrounded by spirit particles because of her innate ability of absorption, which might be randomly uncontrolled at this stage. If she remains in Sereitei, she might absorb too much and that may result to either her annihilation or ours."

"So it's all right for the humans down there to be in danger, isn't it?" Ichigo glared.  
"Wouldn't humanity be in more danger if Sereitei would be the one to disappear?" Mayruri shot back, "Besides, are five Shinigami not enough?"

The aggravated look on Ichigo's face did not disappear as it mixed with the questioning expression that came across his visage.

"Kuchiki Byakuya and Kusajishi Yachiru had been sent with her." Yamamoto answered Ichigo's silent question, "And you are there, your wife and your son. The three of you, among all people, know best how to deal with her."

Indeed. In fact, they knew so much — too much that they did not want to have anything more to do with her. Ichigo had undergone every kind of trauma for every aspect to even begin to understand that saving the world was of greater priority than saving his family. That girl could _tear_ his mask off as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Do these bastards realize how _painful_ it is to have your mask forcibly pulled out of your body? That was enough reason for him to decline to let the girl stay in his house.

"Send her to Urahara's then!"  
"Not possible."  
"You _resurrected_ her and your telling me _this_ is not possible!?" Ichigo shouted, "_Make_ it possible, then!"

"Kurosaki Ichigo, Aizen Andjaliria is a secret among the top ranks of the Gotei 13 and the higher ups." Yamamoto said a little louder than he had been speaking earlier, "And as such, if we send her to Urahara Kisuke's, it will only earn unwanted suspicion."

"Oh, so you can decide about who stays in my house without telling me, then! Is that it!?" Ichigo's hands were on his waist.  
"Kurosaki-daikou, perhaps you should hurry back." Yamamoto said, returning to the piles of sheets of papers on his desk.  
"Look h—"  
"I have arranged a special gigai from Urahara Kisuke."  
"But Y—"  
"Do _not_ test my patience. There is _nothing_ to test…!"

Ichigo opened his mouth to say something again if Mayuri had not made a comment of his own.

"The specimen might attract Hollows… Would you like me to watch your children for you…?"

The scientist grinned and the representative glared.

It seemed that the latter was not going to win this argument... At least not now.

"Lecherous." Was the only thing Ichigo said before going out. Renji followed with his eyes, bowed in front of Yamamoto before following suit. Mayuri sighed, wanting to do the same as he watched the doors closed.

"Ichigo…!" Renji caught up with Ichigo who did not even look or stop to acknowledge him but Renji did not mind and continued anyway, "Ichigo, what do you plan to do now?"  
"What's there that's left to do? Keep an eye on the girl, of course!" Ichigo grunted, "That while thinking of a way to send her back…!"  
"Is Rukia okay with this?"

"Rukia? Rukia is worried as _hell_." Ichigo replied with brisk, heavy steps towards his very own portal to the human world, "After all that we've been through with that little girl, I have no idea how they think we could take this sitting down!"

"And what ticks me is that Byakuya _knew_ the girl was coming!" the orange-haired Shinigami was almost gritted his teeth, "And he didn't _tell_ me! It's my house, god damn it, and no one _told_ _me_! And they say _I'm_ rude!"

"It's not like the Captain was behind all this." Renji spoke a little lower, feeling a bit strange that he was orally defending his Captain.  
"I don't care. He knew. He didn't tell me. That's it." Ichigo continued, turning left sharply when he came to a corner, "I'm going to have to make sure I give him a piece of my thoughts."  
"How's your son, by the way?" Renji asked, changing the topic so as not to aggravate Ichigo any further.  
"My son's fine. He's just in a bit of a mess, if you… Hold it." Ichigo stopped and looked with a raised eyebrow at Renji who blinked, "My son? Byakuya told you about my son?"

Renji blinked again before answering.

"He did mention something about his nephew being the reason for him to volunteer as escort for Andjaliria but no details." Renji shrugged. Ichigo looked at Renji skeptically and sighed before resuming his heavy steps. So Byaku-brat _volunteered_, didn't he?

"And Yachiru?" Ichigo asked, looking with only his eyes moving.

"Well…" Renji began as he thought while walking briskly like Ichigo, "Someone from the assault squad had to go and Zaraki Kenpachi wasn't quite… qualified… to come down. You know what I mean."

Ichigo only made a low sound of approval as he thought of the horrors trying to feed Zaraki and telling him "We can't fight here, you walking piece of murders!" Besides, Kenpachi was more likely to get lost than be of any help to any of them. He was incompetent and uninterested when it came to anything that had nothing to do with fighting, killing and swearing.

"How's the Lieutenant, by the way?" Renji asked, "It's her first time in the living world on her own, I think."  
"She kissed Uryuu's son."

Renji gave off a low whistle as if to say, "Really now?"

"It was wrong for the Captain to go ahead of her, then." Renji said as if talking to himself as Ichigo felt like the strands of the Lieutenant's hair had become more vibrant than usual and that the tattoos on his forehead seemed to have changed.

"Oi, Ichigo. Here's my stop." Renji tapped Ichigo on the shoulder and pointed to his left as Ichigo started for the open door. Ichigo gave a curt nod before turning to go. Renji did the same, coming across Hisagi Shuuhei who had a pile of papers in his hands and Isane Kotetsu who was holding several folders.

"Yo, Abarai." Shuuhei nodded at Renji who greeted and nodded back. He acknowledged Isane who bowed in turn.  
"Is that Kurosaki-daikou?" Isane asked, looking at Ichigo's back as he continued to walk away.  
"Yeah, he's pretty worked up. Wouldn't want to be him." Renji put his hands on his waist, "What's up?"  
"The usual." Shuuhei shrugged and pointed with his pouted lips towards the papers.

"As for me, I still have to make a report on things. Came here to get some official stamps." Isane sighed as if speaking alone, "Seriously, I wish I had an assistant when the Taichou is busy working on something strange."

"Strange?" the two men chorused.

"Yeah… A strange butterfly came out of nowhere." Isane said absently and she gasped, realizing she shouldn't have said that. Renji and Shuuhei had weird looks on their faces. And as Isane started to beg them not to tell it to anyone, Shuuhei muttered to Renji, "Those chaps in the living world come up with new butterfly species on their own, don't they?"

--

"Shit-ass." Ichigo grumbled as he walked out of the building, leaving Renji. He'd better get home quick in case some bad-ass Menos Grande start falling from the sky.

He just hoped things were okay back home.

And in a jiffy, Ichigo opened his phone for some comfort.

RING! RING!

This would cheer him up a bit.

RING! RI— CLICK!

"Haaaai! Moshi-moshi?" a little girl's voice came from the earpiece of Ichigo's phone.

"Hello, how is daddy's little munchkin doing?" Ichigo was sporting a weird, happy face as he strode, earning strange and random glances from the other Shinigami he came across.

Seriously, Happy-Daddy Kurosaki was a rather disturbing sight.

"DADDY!" the girl squealed and Ichigo sighed his "Aww-my-daughter-is-so-adorable" sigh, "Mai-chan is fine! Are you coming home, Daddy?"

"Yes, Daddy is on his way home… Is there anything my princess would like?"

"ARAAAAAAAAAA!" Mai-chan did her happy squeal and Ichigo could hear Hideki and Rukia talking in the background. Ichigo could also hear other voices but he could not distinguish them properly.

"Mai-chan wants stationary seeeeeeeeet!"  
"Stationary set? My little baby wants to write?"  
"Yes! Sensei told us to write letters to important people to us! Mai-chan will write to Daddy!"

If Ichigo had an inner self, it would've jumped out of his head, squealed, hugged itself and rolled around out in the open.

Until his little girl dropped an atomic bomb.

"And my boyfriend!"

It echoed in his head.

"YOUR WHAT!?"

It was more horrific than Hollow sounds, Yamamoto's Bankai, Aizen's intentions and Armageddon combined! Did he just hear his daughter say she had a boyfriend!

"Boyfriend!"

Positive!

Ichigo felt all his veins popping like hell. His daughter had a _boyfriend_!? Why didn't _he_ know of this! Was he bound to be the last to know about everything!? That's it! He was speeding home for _his_ sake!

"OkayDimpleBunsDaddyHasToGoLoveYou!"

If Mai was able to understand it or not, Ichigo did not know or care since he immediately dropped the call and shifted to Rukia on speed dial.

RING! RING!

Rukia looked at her pink flip top phone and saw Ichigo's name on it. She smiled inwardly, reminiscing how Ichigo had been rather sweet to her when they were alone these past few days. He had been teasing her as well as, calling her to say "I love you" and whisper little naughty things as if to hint for something. She had been waiting for him to make a move these past few nights. She was getting excited and a bit turned on especially after he had whispered to her that he was going to make her happy tonight. And with that thought, she giggled as she answered the phone.

What would he tell her this time?

"He—"  
"RUKIA! WHAT IS THIS I HEARD THAT MAI HAS A BOYFRIEND!" Ichigo was hollering in the middle of huffing between flash steps.

So much for sweet!

"What?!" Rukia's voice was appalled and seemed to imply that she did not know whatever it is Ichigo was talking about. She had just finished bathing the children and powdering them before tucking them to bed. She was looking forward to some peace and quiet of her own… Or perhaps some private time with her husband when he got back.

"I SPOKE TO HER ON THE PHONE! SHE SAID SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!"  
"I don't know!"  
"THAT'S SHIT! TELL ME THE TRUTH!"  
"I said I don't know!"  
"RUKIA! STOP LYING TO ME!"  
"I'm not lying!"  
"RUKIA!"  
"ICHIGO, IF YOU CAN NOT TALK TO ME PROPERLY, TALK TO THE DIAL TONE FOR ALL I CARE!"

CLICK!

Beeeeeeeeeeep…

Rukia grumbled and threw the phone on the bed.

_No love for you tonight, Ichigo!_

- End of Part 10 -

* * *

Author: OKAY! Am I late!? Sorry it took so long! I had school to attend to. My school is fun as it is right now and I like it! Mingling with younger people is fun! As for the story, hope you haven't lost interest in it and I hope I still have your minds thinking. I know I'm not as fast as before but I have my reasons. Hope you guys understand…

Hope you guys still love me and the story.

Hugs and reviews, please?

-grin-

Uh… Someone's been noting me that I stole someone's story. Sorry, but for those who know, my OC Shun Shun Rikka fairies prove that I did not.

Cheerios, Cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!


	11. Dismount And Development

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 11 : Dismount And Development**

* * *

Ken'ichi stretched and looked at the clock but either because it was dark or because he was tired, he was unable to determine the time but he was guessing it was somewhere around twelve midnight. Outside was quiet. Even the crickets seemed to be curled in their beds and tucked away into dreamland. Ken'ichi would love to do the same had it not been for the intense schoolwork they had to finish. The night sky was in a wonderful midnight blue color painted with random drops of sparkling light. The lamp posts outside were lit and Ken'ichi could even imagine one of them flickering randomly. Wetting his lips, he leaned against the back of his computer chair as his looked at the monitor, which looked bright against the darkness that enveloped his room. Above it was his printer doing lots of work and the low, rumbling sounds it created was the only sound in the room until Ken'ichi yawned a big yawn and stretched again.

Good grief, he was so _tired_.

He looked at his desk.

So was Yui.

Yui was sitting on the edge of the chair as she rested her head on the table where the desk lamp was still on. Her right hand was loosely holding the pen against the notebook and her left hand was still lightly on the page of the book as if to turn it. Ken'ichi smiled lightly and pushed himself off the chair before starting towards her. She was breathing softly with her hair slowly draping over her face. She probably did not realize how she had fallen asleep. Perhaps she was still writing and solving Physics problems in her dreams. Such mental torture. What a nightmare!

"Yui." Ken'ichi spoke lowly but it seemed as though his voice was louder than he intended it to be probably because of the quietness of the night. That or he had gotten so freaked out from all the noise from the whole day that this sort of silence was already so much for him.

"Yui…" he said again, touching her shoulder and slowly shaking her. She responded with a low sound, probably still in her dreams and only partly stepping into the real world. He continued shaking her carefully until her eyelids fluttered in wake, her eyes moving as if to reorient her senses and recalling what she had done last. And suddenly, her eyes widened and she pushed her self up, nearly falling off the chair she had been sitting on as her knee hit the table. Ken'ichi's eyebrows shot up with a stifled chuckle at the klutzy way she woke up but chose not to comment about it.

"Physics… The things… The… Paper… Sensei… Thirteen divided by…" Yui said, probably saying the words that came into mind without even bothering to turn them to sentences.

"Almost done." Ken'ichi muttered, "You should rest."  
"N-no, I…" Yui was looking disoriented at the papers in front of her.

"The printer's doing its job. We can compile it later." Ken'ichi started piling the books and papers on his desk to clear it and perhaps relieve Yui of an eyesore, "Right now, you should get some shuteye."

Yui nodded absently before weakly getting up from the chair and heading to the bed. Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow as she threw herself messily with her face against the bed. She was wearing a white shirt and shorts that dropped below her thigh while a topless Ken'ichi wearing cargo shorts shook his head.

"Hey, baka." Ken'ichi mumbled as he walked towards her, "Who gave you permission to sleep on my bed?"  
"I have no strength to argue with you." She replied without budging, "Let me be."  
"You can't sleep here. Your dad will kill me." Ken'ichi sat on the bed.

The Kurosaki house had five rooms — one for the Kurosaki couple, one for Ken'ichi, one for Hideki (but Mai bunked in with him since she was too young), one for Byakuya (because he insisted on it) and Mai's future room, which acted as a guestroom. Currently, Ishida Uryuu and his wife were sleeping in the guest room while Ryu and the two other girls were forced to stay in Mai and Hideki's room until they were finished with their Physics project, which required peace and quiet and not a close girl forcing a Quincy guy to be the father of her son and an amused Shinigami girl for audience. But as things stand, the trio would have to stay in the kids' room until _morning_.

Wonder how they were doing?

--

"Y-gaugh…!" Ryu's eyes snapped open for how many times tonight that he had no more intention of counting or looking at what time is it _again_ or if it is already morning. Something was _horribly_ wrong with him — so wrong that he should probably see a doctor. He had been dreaming of things he never even _thought_ he'd dream of, dreams that made him sweaty without even doing any physical work. For the love of him! He did not want random erotic dreams about two nearly topless women with him plaguing his sleep.

The young male Quincy was lying on his side on the mattress on the floor and behind him was Andjaliria in a gigai who was quietly snuggled and sniffing his back. It obviously did not bother her that he was full of sweat even with the alluring coldness of the night. Beside her was Yachiru, also in a gigai, who had her back to him. Whether or not she was asleep, he did not care. He had his sanity to be worried of. He shifted his arm so that his head could rest on it and he sighed as softly as he could.

"You're up _again_?" said a female voice. Ryu did not budge and only his eyes moved towards Yachiru's direction and replied with a question of his own.

"You're _still_ up?"  
"Go to sleep Horny Boy Ryu-kun. Your random wake-up's are disturbing me." She said without moving.  
"Don't mind me." Ryu said and paused before turning his head towards her and saying, "And that's just _Ryu_ to you."

The girl did not answer. For moments more, Ryu found his self looking at the back of her pink head as if waiting for an answer but was awarded with none. He dismissed the thought of shrugging and went back to his previous position, praying that he be blessed with sleep by the Sandman as he forced a yawn to perhaps induce some slumber thoughts.

But all was lost when he felt slender fingers crawling towards his belly.

Not _again_.

Ryu rolled his eyes away, gripped Andjaliria's wrist and lifted it off him. He looked at her and found her obviously asleep. He should do something about this girl at least even for just this night.

"Yachiru-chan." Ryu muttered and looked at Mai and Hideki to make sure they were still asleep. The Lieutenant was not moving. Was she asleep or pretending to be asleep?

"Yachiru-chan…!" Ryu called again, leaning forward towards her and still holding Andjaliria's hand to keep it from going anywhere _on_ him. But the Vice-Captain was not showing any sign of response. Anybody would've taken it as "asleep" but something in Ryu's deep guts was telling him she just wanted to shut up for the heck.

"Yachiru-chan!"

He was getting sick saying the same name without getting any response. Really, now? Well, he could do this his way.

He _was_, after all, Ishida Ryu.

"Fine, I'll look at this myself. Don't ask me to share."

Yachiru's ears seemed to have moved and she looked behind her to see Ryu.

"See what?" she blinked with star-glazed eyes, "What? What?"

Ishida Ryu. God of all that is cunning.

"It's over h—Ah, it got away!" Ryu was faking an excited gasp and Yachiru leaned closer, looking left and right to find the invisible thing that Ryu was chasing after with his eyes.

"You can't see at it while _she's_ like this." Ryu pointed at Andjaliria and Yachiru blinked at the sleeping body that was between them, "Switch places with her and I'll show you what I mean."

Yachiru blinked. Skeptical or just plain stupid? Ryu had no care. He just wanted space away from this woman trying to copulate with him by hook or by crook or by all the intentions of evil Aizen going Loco Mundo. She did not even bother to change off her white clothing and that made it all the more… complicated, at least for Ryu's hormones. The pink-haired Shinigami looked at him as if in silent, dumb contemplation. Her pink flipping tresses fell in a bit of disarray below her shoulders. She looked at Ryu and then at Andjaliria and then at him again.

Ryu opened his mouth to say something but the daughter-clone started to wake up. The Ishida boy gasped and immediately played _dead_ as he lay on his side. Yachiru blinked at Andjaliria who yawned as she rubbed her eyes. A few more moments later, she looked at the Shinigami girl and said, "Ara?"

"Ara?" replied Yachiru.  
"Araaaa…" Andjalira muttered.  
"Ara, ne?" Yachiru said again.

Ryu wanted to roll his eyes away again but kept them shut. The two bimbos were communicating with "ara" and who knows if they even understood each other. Not that Ryu cared if they started talking like aliens. He just wanted to get some peace of his own.

"Ara, ara…" Andjaliria's voice was coming closer. Ryu was still sweating and wanted to gulp. He did not speak "ara" language but somehow, to him, it sounded like, "I'm comin' to getcha!" He could not feel Yachiru moving or doing anything. Stupid Shinigami girl not lending him a hand.

"Anata!" Andjaliria squealed louder than she was allowed.

Anata? Darling? Since when was she allowed to call him something along those lines?

Did it matter now? Ryu was determined to make it look like he was asleep. Hideki groaned and scratched his head before resuming his previous position, breathing softly with the blanket pushed down to his waist.

"Anata!" she squealed again and in one move, she pulled his shoulder and laid him flat on his back, making him open his eyes in surprise. She was already on all fours and on top of him! Ryu gritted his teeth and his eyebrows furrowed but before he could say anything more, she rested above him, limbs locked around him.

_Why_ was this girl so _engrossed_ about him!

"Y-Yachiru-chan!" Ryu appealed to the Shinigami nearby. Really, he was getting tired saying her name for how many times tonight.  
"Hai?" she replied jovially with that childish grin across her face.  
"A little help here?" Ryu pointed with his head at Andjaliria who was mumbling something they could not understand, "It wouldn't help if you at least came between us, you know."

"Oh. Sorry." Yachiru smiled with a shrug and crawled towards the Quincy and the daughter-clone. Finally, some cooperation from the pink-haired Vice-Captain! Ryu wanted to sigh in relief when he saw Yachiru lift Andjaliria's arm but his eyes widened in baffled alarm when the Lieutenant started _inserting_ herself between him and Andjaliria.

Ryu gritted his teeth again to prevent him from shouting.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Ryu was speaking between his teeth as he looked at Yachiru whose face was only a few inches above his.

"I thought you wanted her between us?" Andjaliria commented from behind Yachiru's shoulder.  
"Yeah, I thought that's what he wanted to." Yachiru nodded at Andjaliria who nodded back.

Oh, so he was the one who _misunderstood_ everything? Sor-ry. Right now he had two women on top of him. If anyone came in right now, _he_ would look like the pervert but in reality, the whole thing was caused by the lack of working _brain cells_ of the two women who were unconsciously _harassing_ him both mentally and physically.

Ryu wanted to scratch his head but the position he was in did not allow him to.

"Okay, _sorry_ for being such an _idiot_.." Ryu sighed heavily.  
"I love you, anata!" Andjaliria squealed and reached for his cheek and started pulling, "Daisukiiiiii!"  
"Get off me, please." Ryu was trying to sound calm, "Now."  
"Who? Me or her?" Yachiru blinked.

Where were these two when god gave away common sense?

"Both of you." Ryu muttered.  
"But I love you!" Andjaliria said in a rather "hurting" tone, which Ryu did not know the origin of.

_Kami. why me?_

"I would _love_ it if you got off me."

Andjaliria was close to tears. Yachiru was still blinking.

"Just _please_ get off me." His voice was rising while mentally noting to keep everything he said to be _literal_, "Both of you, _get off me_."  
"Sheesh, you are so _hard_ to understand." Yachiru slowly pushed her self away from Ryu as she sat up and Andjaliria followed suit.

"You want me between you. You want me off you." Yachiru continued, "Make up your mind!"

Ryu continued to stare at Yachiru who had not cleared off. Wonderful. Now he had to girls sitting on top of him.

"I've made up my mind now _GET OFF_."

Yachiru shrugged and crawled back to her spot while Andjaliria remained staring at the window as if in a daze.

"Andjaliria." Ryu called.

No response.

"Andjaliria."

Still nothing.

"Andja—"  
"It's here." The girl gasped and got up immediately, her weight leaving Ryu in a bad way that it made him cough and wince a bit.

"It's here!" she repeated.  
"What is?" Yachiru asked, motioning to get up.

"It's here! My baby is here!" Andjaliria excitedly told Yachiru who blinked and gasped as her wrist was grabbed along with the rest of her being dragged by Andjaliria out the room. Ryu pushed himself up by his elbows and raised an eyebrow. Normally he would have followed them out but right now, he had no interest to do so and he threw his self back to bed.

Wonder how Ken'ichi and Yui were doing…?

--

Yui was lying on her stomach, her head veered towards the left. Ken'ichi was still sitting on the bed and scratched his head.

"Budge, girl." He said and pushed her slightly.  
"I don't want to move…" she replied wearily, "No strength."  
"You can't sleep here. Your father will kill me."  
"Sleep on the floor."

_That's some suggestion, you have there!_

"Oh, and may I remind you whose room this is…?" Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.  
"Ever heard of joint property?" she was speaking with an eyebrow unconsciously raised as well.  
"That happens when we're already _married_." Ken'ichi replied and started tugging her hair, "At least give me some space to bunk in, baka."  
"Baka." Yui shot back for the hell.

"Baka!" Ken'ichi retorted smugly. She did not respond. With a grunt he shifted his position and crawled on top of her so that he was lying on her back. She groaned and cursed at him but he pinned her down with his weight.

"KEN'ICHI, GET OFF ME!" she was nearly screaming.

"Oho… I thought you were tired, you bossy Quincy-baka?" Ken'ichi replied casually as he crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling.

"GET OFF ME!" her voice was getting louder as she pushed against him and the bed. Indeed, she was tired because it would've been somehow easier if she hadn't been so stressed out.

"Not so loud, you twit!" Ken'ichi veered his head slightly towards her, "Do you want to wake up the whole _house_!"  
"Then _get off me_, you ass!" Yui complained; her voice in modulation as she grunted and struggled, "Or else my dad will think you're harassing me!"

Good point.

Ken'ichi rolled to one side and landed on the bed. He pushed at Yui slightly to make space for him. She groaned in complaint as several strands of her hair got caught in his fingers as he moved. There were a few grumbles as Yui inched a bit further, mumbling at the effort and making a sarcastic big deal about it just for the purpose of annoying Ken'ichi, which amused her quite so. It took a moment before they could find a position comfortable for the both of them and then there was silence except for the rumbling sound of the printer on the table.

Ken'ichi yawned and he lay quietly on his back while Yui had shifted to lying on her side. The young Shinigami moved his head to look at his right where his future wife was. She had her back to him as she breathed softly, barely moving while he continued to stare. He wanted to stroke her hair but was somehow too tired to do anything. He continued staring at the back of her head, reminiscing and thinking about random things both trivial and critical as he blinked.

Girlfriend.

Fiancée.

Future wife.

Wife.

Ken'ichi smiled inwardly. Everything happened so fast but somehow, he felt he had been waiting for it to come to this. It's just that he had not realized how complicated things would be.

Girlfriend.

Fiancée.

Future wife.

Wife.

Before he knew it, he'd be dealing with words like daughter, son, mom and dad.

Otousan.

It would indeed sound so strange and new if he had a kid calling him "otousan" and he wondered if this was the same thing his father felt when he married his mother. What could have been his ojisama and ojiisan's reactions? He heard their wedding was incredible. Judging by how their family was, Ken'ichi summed it to be "out-of-this world".

Again, he smiled at his seemingly witty little comment. If he had a son, would he be Shinigami? Or Quincy? Was there ever a Shinigami Quincy? Yes, his dad was both Quincy and Shinigami in his own right but if in some strange twist of fate his son became Quincy and Shinigami in an entirely different way, then he would be the first Shinigami with a bow Zanpakutou.

He wouldn't know if his father-in-law would be proud or mortified.

And if he had a daughter…

Good god, he might spoil his daughter.

PLEET!

Ken'ichi opened his half-lidded eyes and sat up. His eyes immediately darted for the computer and realized that the printing had been finished. Yui got out of bed a few moments before he did as he yawned, stretching lazily. She was immediately in front of the computer and Ken'ichi was surprised at how she was able to leap out of bed while being tired and saying, "It's done, Ken'ichi…!"

"Is it done?" he asked mindlessly as he slugged towards his computer. Yui nodded, eyes still on the monitor and hand on the mouse as she clicked away. Ken'ichi looked at the paper on the tray and noticed its thickness. He then mentally noted that he would have to remind himself to buy some ink in a few days as he scratched the back of his neck.

Yui reached out for the thick sheet and looked at it. She carefully halved the stack and handed one to Ken'ichi as she said, "We have to arrange it since the pages are in reverse."

Ken'ichi nodded absently while scratching the back of his neck as Yui handed him his share of the work. He sighed. Why don't papers just arrange themselves? And why the hell was the printer designed to print with the first page at the bottom of the stack? Why hadn't anyone realized that?

And why the hell was the back of his neck so itchy? Bug bites from his pillow?

Damn it.

And Ken'ichi slapped the back of his head with his hand. Yui gasped at the sound. Ken'ichi looked at his hand to see what he had hit and his eyes widened in alarm.

Ken'ichi opened his mouth and released a loud, aggravated panicking scream that drowned the sound of his bedroom door being kicked open and Andjaliria's blurting of "My baby! My baby!" as he looked at his hand.

There was a large, bluish white swallow tail butterfly with crumpled wings…

This day would never be over.

- End of Part 11 -

* * *

Author: Yes…! I managed to do this during my free time! Yay! I had quite a good time writing this chapter. It was fun writing mental stuff regarding Ken'ichi and Ryu. I don't know why. Perhaps they speak in such a "creative manner". Nyehehe.

Dismount is a synonym for "get off", a phrase which had been used several times in this chapter.

On a different note… "Oh My Gigai!" … -breathes in- … has been stolen, plagiarized and/or copied. Details in my profile. I feel mortified.

On a lighter note, I'm accepting votes and suggestions for Ryu! Yachiru or Andjaliria? The Shinigami or the Arrancar? I didn't think I'd come up with a partner for Ryu but I felt sorry for him just being on the sidelines. He has fangirls of his own and I'm pretty sure they'd like him in the spotlight from time-to-time.

So there we have it. The eleventh installment! Read and Review!

Cheerios, Cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!

Anata – darling

Daisuki – I love/like you.


	12. Oh My White Butterfly!

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 12 : Oh My White Butterfly!**

* * *

Ken'ichi's uproar was so loud that the whole house along with the lurking spirits around it — a school girl who committed suicide, an old woman who died of sickness, a little boy who never woke up and sorts — awoke and rushed to his bedroom.

"Ikilledthelittlebutterflykilledohgodikilleditohgodohgodohgod!" Ken'ichi was running around stupidly with the butterfly in his hand and Yui had gotten up, confused with what the fuss was all about. Andjaliria had lost color while Yachiru started giggling at Ken'ichi.

"Ken'ichi! What is going on!" Yui grabbed Ken'ichi by the shoulder and he immediately showed her the butterfly that was struggling to stretch its wings. Yui raised an eyebrow, not getting the idea and looked at Ken'ichi.

"Yuiitwasonmeanditwasn'tno—"  
"Ken'ichi!"  
"ButreallyIseriouslydidnotme—"  
"KEN'ICHI! SLOWLY!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF ME, HEAL THE BUTTERFLY!!" he hollered again and Yui gasped, taken aback. Since when did Ken'ichi become a nature lover? She blinked, wanting to ask why but judging by the state Ken'ichi was in now, she was in no position to argue with him. Otherwise, she would have to decode his speaking before it made any sense. With much perplexity, Yui began healing the butterfly when the rest of the house came in with the fathers first.

"WHAT HAPPENED!?" Ichigo and Uryuu said in unison somehow entering the small door at the same time. Rukia followed and then Orihime. Byakuya entered quietly as Ryu entered with Mai and Hideki in either hand.

"Ken'ichi what ha— OH MY GIGAI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Rukia's eyes grew wide, unceremoniously shoving whoever it was in front of her as she grabbed Ken'ichi's wrist and stared at the white insect.

"It's a…!"  
"Awhitebutterflyitsmineitsoursihititohmygodgomennasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiii!!"

Everyone except Rukia raised an eyebrow.

"What on _earth_ were you thinking hitting the poor thing!" Rukia scolded, reaping weird stares from the rest for surprisingly understanding Ken'ichi's talking. Ken'ichi shook his head vigorously. Uryuu and Ichigo had apparently changed color and Orihime's hands were on her mouth in shock.

"Yui, I want you to stop doing that _right now._" Rukia said firmly.  
"B-but…"  
"Only _pure reiatsu_ can heal your baby." She said.

"M-my baby?!" Yui's head threw back and shot a glance towards her mother who was clasping her hands together as she nodded and said, "Yui, please do as what she says." Ichigo was muttering something to Uryuu who did not seem to even hear since he looked like he was too busy thinking. Ryu was blinking, surprised at the "your baby" comment as Hideki's eyes remained wide. There was a sob of "My baby…" from Andjaliria and Yui's gaze moved towards Ken'ichi who was nodding vigorously.

"Yui, _stop the Rikka._" Rukia told her firmly — so firmly that she swallowed and nodded. The small yellow dome diminished and the butterfly's wings opened and closed.

"Ken'ichi, give the butterfly to Yui." Rukia told him but the boy merely blinked. Rukia gave him one of the sternest of her looks and Ken'ichi muttered a small, "Why?"

"Because you have _my_ reiatsu." Ichigo explained, "Don't do anything to it… Not until we have consulted Urahara-san about it. Give it to Yui. _Please_."

He was a little hesitant since he did not understand but the eldest Kurosaki son nodded and obliged. Ken'ichi offered the white butterfly and Yui made a cup with her hands to catch it, feeling somewhat awkward about the situation but tensed nonetheless.

"NO! Basta ya!" Andjaliria screamed and got up, storming towards Yui who covered the white butterfly with her hand and turned away from Andjaliria. The female Arrancar disappeared in shunpo, leaving falling objects in her trace.

Flash step while in a gigai!?

Uryuu grunted and disappeared in one hirenkyaku and then reappeared, holding Andjaliria by her wrist but the young Arrancar was not going to be stopped that easily.

"BALA!" she assaulted.

"Santen Kesshun!" Yui summoned up her tri-link shield just in time as she squeezed her eyes, clutching the butterfly to her self, feeling so helpless that she felt dumb. The Hollow energy ball reacted with a ricochet. Ryu gasped, realizing that it threatened to hit something or someone randomly… which was not good.

"Soten Kisshun!" Ryu announced and two light beams shot out, enveloping the offensive energy ball and suppressing it to "reject" its existence in mid-air. Andjaliria looked on with wide eyes in surprise and disappointment. She gritted her teeth and glowered at Yui who glared back.

"That's _my_ baby…!" Andjaliria growled.  
"No, it is _not_!" Yui shot back, "Don't you _dare_ come near _my_ child."

Yui had not completely understood everything but she had now recalled that Shinigami conceived using butterflies. Judging how frantic Ken'ichi was, it just might be true that she was pregnant. Although she was not Shinigami, Yui figured there might have been a complication and until things have been sorted out, she was not taking any chances of this butterfly being harmed.

"You…" Andjaliria again but even before Yui could respond, fifty arrows surrounded the girl and she looked at Ryu who was casually standing with a hand in his pocket.

"Por… qué…?" Andjalira muttered, her body relaxing. Ryu responded with a mere serious blink and the girl looked away as a silent accept of defeat. She snatched her hand away from Uryuu and disappeared before reappearing behind Yachiru who was looking rather seriously at Ryu.

"Yare, yare…" Ryu sighed, "Unsightly. What would you people do without me?"

"Thank you." Ken'ichi said lowly but was looking at Yui who was looking at her glowing hand. She sat on the bed and a pillow on her lap where she laid her hand. The butterfly's wings opened and closed as if to say, "Arigatou".

"Ohdearohdearohdearohdearohdear…"

Ken'ichi was curled on the floor and beside the bed and his nose was resting on the edge of the pillow as he looked at the white butterfly on Yui's shaking hand. Yachiru, totally missing the point of "the white butterfly", was busily thinking up of a name for it while her new-found best buddy was gripping her arm as she angrily sobbed, "Akachan… Akachan… Akachan…"

"Ohdearohdearohdearohdearohdear…"

All thoughts of sleep had fled from Ken'ichi.

"I thought you used protection?" Ichigo asked as he stood beside Rukia who had her arms crossed.  
"I did…" Ken'ichi replied absently, "The one that was from ojiisan… The one made by Urahara-san…"  
"Urahara?" Byakuya finally spoke, "Urahara Kisuke's contraceptive in the Shinigami starter kits?"  
"Hai, ojisama." Ken'ichi said again in a voice so monotone.

"Yachiru-fukutaichou." Byakuya said apathetically and the Lieutenant responded with an exact opposite — an enthusiastic "HAAAAAAAAAI?!" The Sixth Squad Captain dismissed the over eagerness in her tone and continued, "Call Urahara."

"HAAAAAAAI!" Yachiru said again and took out her spirit phone from her sleeve. With a cute pink tongue sticking out and Andjaliria peeking from behind her shoulders, Yachiru dialed and put the phone on her ear. Andjalira pressed her ear on the phone as well as she muttered something in Spanish to Yachiru who did not respond because she did not understand and had no intention of doing so.

--

RING! RING! RING! RING!

"Eh?"

Urahara cracked one eye open. He was lying on his stomach, a pillow on his head and the blanket pulled up to his waist as he lay on the futon.

RING! RING! RING! RING!

Who on earth could be calling him at _this_ time of night?

"Who on earth is calling you at _this_ time of night?" A male-voiced cat commented annoyingly with a purr at the end as it opened its eyes without bothering to move from its curled position on the floor. Urahara answered with an unnoticeable shrug. One of his arms extended, searching blindly for the ringing mobile device without bothering to pull his head from under the pillow. After a few moments, he found it and grabbed it, pulled it under the pillow and looked at it.

An unidentified number.

"Who is this?" Urahara's voice came from under the pillow.  
"The phone will not answer you but the caller will." Yoruichi yawned.  
"But I don't know who this is." The shop-keeper was skeptical.  
"Answer the phone, Kisuke." The cat was not patient.  
"What if it's a stalker?" The shop-keeper was threatened.  
"What if it's an emergency?" The cat was _not_ happy.  
"What if it's not?"

"JUST ANSWER THE GOD DAMN PHONE ALREADY!" Yoruichi got up on her four legs with the hairs and her tail standing up as she screeched in a cat-like pitch. The black cat was glowering at Urahara and those _teeth_ clearly were not there to _smile_ at this time and were only a bonus to a set of _claws_ ready for use.

"Don't blame me if this is Soi Fon." Urahara mumbled.

CLICK!

"He… Hello?"

"HAAAAAAAI! MOSHI MOSHI!" came a booming, cheerful voice from the phone that Urahara pulled the phone off his ear, "IS THIS STRIPEY HAT -SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!?"  
"Ara? Who is this?" Urahara sat up on the futon, trying to recognize the happy girly voice that bothered him. Last time he checked, he didn't have young school girl fan girls…

Or _did he_?

Oh, dear, he might have struck the wrong tone. Must… not… turn… her… off… Urahara Kisuke for the comeback!

"Araaaaaa… Who is this?"

Yoruichi stared flatly at Urahara who was sticking out a pinky as he tried to sound accommodating and cute. Seriously, it would've been better if he had his hat on then at least she couldn't see his face… instead of his disheveled just-out-of-bed hair sticking out from all the wrong places.

"Is this stripey hat-san?"

Urahara blinked. Now what kind of fan girl in the right mind would call him "stripey hat-san"? Wasn't he "young innocent sexy shop keeper-san" or somewhere along those lines?

Okay, this was _not_ a fan girl. His cute, turn-on wanna-be comeback was _wasted_.

"Who is this?" Urahara was now blinking dumbly. Yoruichi snorted. No one would think that this dumbly gawking man with droopy shoulders was the former Twelfth Division Captain and Head of the Research Facility and whatnot. She was getting the urge to claw at his eyeballs.

Puuurrrrr…

"I said, is this stripey hat-san?"  
"Who is this?"  
"I _SAID_…" the girl's voice gave him the impression that she was pouting… and impatient. And having an impatient woman aiming for you for whatever reason really wasn't appealing.

Urahara looked at Yoruichi.

"Get _on_ with it, Kisuke."

She showed him her claws to stress her point.

An impatient sleep-deprived flash-stepping shunko-able cat wasn't cute.

"Yes, yes, this is Urahara Kisuke. Who is this?" Urahara raised an eyebrow and shrugged when Yoruichi tilted her head at him and he added, "Yachiru-chan…?"

"Hai! It is me! Stripey hat-san's a good guesser, ne?"  
"Ara… Hai-hai… Why did you call?"

"Well, I…! I… Um… Anooooou…" she was cheerful and then she stopped and then the sounds got softer probably because she pulled her phone away from her ear. Urahara yawned, hearing voices from the background.

"Anou sa, Kuchiki-taichou… Why did I call?"  
"Tell him to come over here."  
"Okaaaaaay!"  
"Hala! Interesante!"

Urahara's ears somewhat flapped. Spanish? Spanish reminded him of Arrancar. Ah, yes, Aizen Andjaliria was there. It sounded as though exposure to Yachiru had rubbed off on her. Was she why he was being called? Perhaps something was wrong with the gigai.

"Hello?" Yachiru's clear voice came back.  
"Tell Kuchiki-taichou I'll be there." Urahara was preparing to get up.  
"He said you should bring candy! Okay, bye!"

CLICK!

--

"Why did you tell him that?" Byakuya asked Yachiru who merely smiled. The Captain did not press any further. No sense arguing.

"Something wrong with the contraceptive, fancy clips?" Ichigo nodded at Byakuya.

Fancy clips?

"I see you like giving nicknames, _kozo_. What do you call yourself?"  
"Fancy clip destroyer." Ichigo replied casually.

"You know, _kozo_, by any chance, a kenseikan just might be made for you." Byakuya replied, motioning to adjust his scarf but realized it was not there.

"I suggest you grow your hair longer." Byakuya eyed him, "Though I doubt it would help any."

"He would look like corn if that happened." Rukia commented and Ichigo glared at her. Orihime put a finger on her chin as she imagined, breaking out in giggles while Uryuu kept clearing his throat in small smiles. He would let this pass or perhaps he _would have_ had his wife not added something.

"Corn-osaki Ichigo."

Orihime burst out in laughter. Ryu and Uryuu turned around and Byakuya sighed as if to mock him some more.

"Haha, so then you're going to be Corn-osaki Rukia?"

Rukia's eyes snapped at him.

_Got you, midget_.

Not.

"Kurosaki Ichi-corn, then."

Orihime was doubling over in laughter where she inserted her breathless "G-g-g-gomen na-na-nasai" in between. Uryuu cleared his throat again and Ryu covered his mouth.

His wife _abhorred_ him probably because of the last phone call they had. He explained his side but she refused to let him touch her until she heard a _very_ sincere apology, which, to him, was very broad and, to her, probably involved Chappy the Bunny. She was looking at him using her "Bring it on!" face and he was in the middle of deciding on a comeback when there were three knocks on the window.

All eyes turned to it.

"Konbanwa!" Urahara was waving with a black cat on his head.

"Stripey hat-san!" Yachiru said as Ryu walked towards the window and opened it, nearly hitting Urahara's chin with it. Yoruichi entered first and was immediately glomped by Yachiru as Urahara came in.

"What seems to be the problem that I had to come to you and not you to me for a change?" Urahara stepped in, holding onto his green and white hat.

"Yui is pregnant." Uryuu said frankly.  
"I'm sorry but I'm neither a priest nor a caterer."

"Urahara-san, they said they used your…" Orihime looked at Mai and Hideki in the room before continuing, "… Your _noodle flavoring._"

"I _know_ what a contraceptive is." Hideki sighed loudly and disappointedly about how childish he was being treated and Mai blinked at her brother and then at Ryu and then at her father before asking, "Daddy, what is contraceptive?"

Ichigo fidgeted.

"Listen carefully, Mai-chan…" Hideki began proudly, waving a finger at his sister as he spoke, "Oniichan will tell you when you are older."  
"But Mai-chan is a big girl!" Mai was flailing her arms, "Am I not, Daddy?"  
"No, you're daddy's little girl." Hideki shot back with hands on his waist.  
"And _you're_ mommy's little boy!" the little girl pointed. Normally, it would've been a catfight but Hideki merely shrugged and said, "Yeah, well, I am. _That's_ why I know what a contraceptive is."

Ichigo glared at Rukia while muttering out of the side of his lip, "You _taught_ him what a contraceptive is?"  
"No!" Rukia mumbled back, "I'm still sane enough to do that, thank you!"

"Studies show that children who spend more time with moms are smarter than daddy's kids since fathers tend to spoil their children more than mothers." Hideki added. Ken'ichi looked at his brother and Yui raised an eyebrow. Ryu contemplated that he shouldn't be mad since he was raised by his mother than his father and he really did not grow up to be a blockhead. Ichigo looked at a smiling Rukia who then realized and kept her straight face.

"ARA! THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Mai shook her head.  
"Yes, it is!"  
"Exactly where did you get that "studies show" statement of yours?" Ken'ichi asked.  
"My observation."  
"Brilliant." Ichigo and Ken'ichi chorused.

"But Okasan looks more sophisticated than Otousan, desshou?" Hideki commented absently, probably thinking loudly without knowing it, "Okasan has a white sword. Otousan has a cleaver."

Ichigo popped an angry vein and saw that his wife was smiling again.

Cleaver, eh? Did his son _hate_ anyone his mother hated as of the moment?

"Though Otousan's Bankai _is_ pretty cool." Hideki nodded to himself and looked up to Rukia, "I love you, Okasan!"

Rukia squealed, taking her little boy in her arms and smothering him with kisses. An ordinary little boy would have screamed in embarrassment but it was fine for little Deki-chan. Ken'ichi looked at Hideki flatly. Mommy's boy and _proud of it_, indeed.

"AND DADDY IS THE BEST DADDY IN THE WORLD!" Mai announced with her happy beaming face and Ichigo was unable to stop himself from hugging his little "little tangerine dimple-munchkin princess".

Ken'ichi made a mental note of "how _not_ to be a dad".

"Ahem." Uryuu cleared his throat, "The contraceptive?"

Rukia and Ichigo blinked. Hideki slipped out of his mother's arms and volunteered to take Mai back to their room. Though the boy had an attitude worth of Ichigo and Rukia, he had a good grasp of what was going on. So while promising his sister that he would tell her where babies come from (there was a small "eek!" from the parents), Hideki led her out as Orihime caught up with a comment, "BABIES COME FROM STORKS!"

"Where were we?" Ichigo regained his scowling, serious composure as opposed to "happy daddy" mode.  
"Urahara-san, I used your…" Ken'ichi felt awkward trying to say it.  
"Noodle flavoring." Orihime smiled and Ken'ichi smiled back wanly.

Perhaps that could do.

"Yeah, well, noodle flavoring…" Ken'ichi continued, "So why… did she…?"  
"Oho? It didn't have a hole in it?" Urahara asked and the young Kurosaki shook his head.  
"Strange." Urahara opened his fan, "I don't think it has anything to do with reiatsu."  
"I agree. I wasn't in Shinigami form."

Urahara paused. Byakuya sighed.

"You were… in human form?" Yoruichi asked between the arms of Yachiru as Andjaliria played with her kitty ears while squealing, "Gatito! Gatito!"

"Y-yes…" Ken'ichi was now hesitant to answer and exchanged glances with Yui who asked, "Why?"

"That's it. _That's_ the problem." Urahara chuckled and started fanninf his self, "That was a _Shinigami_ starter kit. It was not for human use. Remember, Shinigami conceive with white butterflies as opposed to humans who conceive in the womb. So using a Shinigami contraceptive as a human would cancel the effect."

Ken'ichi wanted to bang his head on all four walls. Then his grandfather giving him the _stupid noodle flavoring_ was nonsense to begin with!? _Why_ then was he strictly instructed to use it when "_that_" happens?

"Speaking of which..." Uryuu said with a slightly raised hand, "My daughter is no Shinigami and they did it in human form so why does she have a butterfly…?"

Thankfully, Ishida Uryuu was now over the fact that his daughter was no longer a virgin and that Kurosaki's son was a pervert. Perhaps fathers were meant to undergo nervous breakdowns when bombarded with such news and a Quincy father's version of "nervous breakdown" is synonymous to "freak out like hell and kill perpetrator".

"You are forgetting something." Urahara was smiling behind his fan, "Kurosaki Ken'ichi is _not_ Shinigami."

Ichigo swallowed.

"At least not entirely." Yoruichi said as Andjaliria scratched the back of her ear, "He is a combination of nearly everything conceivable that contributed to the creation of the key and conception of the Hougyoku… And the absorption of his father's reiatsu."

"That itself is a complication."  
"You mean Ken'ichi might have altered Yui…" Ichigo began seriously, "… Like how I altered Rukia? Is that it?"

There was a pause.

"Is that it?" It was Uryuu's turn to ask.  
"That could be." Urahara nodded.  
There were low curses from the fathers.

"So you're saying I may not be the same as before?" Yui asked as the butterfly in her hand started walking on her palm, "That I might not be Quincy anymore?"

No one was answering.

"That I might be Shinigami now?"

Ken'ichi bit his lip.

"That I might even be a Hollow?"

There were no answers. Only thin air. Yui took a very deep breath to stabilize her mid. Ken'ichi wasn't speaking and wasn't even looking at her. Rukia held her arm and looked away.

"If you do not want the baby, I can have it." Andjaliria said and Yui glared, "It's _not_ what I meant!"

"Then why did you ask the Shinigami to be the father of your child if you were not prepared for anything and everything!?" Andjaliria shot back as she got up, "You disgust me."

"What did you say?" Yui glared even sharply. She was not in a state of mind wherein she could extend the little patience she had. She might as well take out her stress on this Arrancar.

"I _said_, a mother who can not take care of her butterfly disgusts me!" Andjaliria replied in a high-pitched tone, "A Shiro Chou is very delicate! Any hesitation from you could very much _kill it_!"

The white butterfly immediately started to hover out of Yui's hand and fluttered around Andjaliria who was not budging.

"I'm telling you…" the Arrancar girl returned Yui's sharp glare, "If you do not take care of the child… If you hesitate at all…"

The white butterfly fluttered around for a moment more. Andjaliria motioned to grab it but it flickered away towards its mother and perched on her ear as if to seek sanctuary.

"It will be mine."

- End of Part 12 -

* * *

Author: Long one in ages. Haha. I hope I did not disappoint you. I'm trying to update as soon as possible since I'm beginning to like this part of the story. I'm also trying to make time for the fic in my busy schedule (seriously, it's part of my schedule now).

I like the title, by the way. It's probably because this omake fic will close my trilogy in a strange way. I do hope you can still recall the events from "Oh My Kichigai!" where Ichigo was revealed to be this and that. I reminisce on the nearly sleepless nights I worked on the timeline.

Ah, and if there's anything wrong with the "Spanish grammar" (I am an idiot!), please tell me (I am an idiot!) and I will be more than happy and thankful to change it with you in the credits (I am an— okay, we're done with that).

Thank you for your support. I hope you continue to read my fic. I am sorry if anyone of you has lost interest. I'm sorry if the sluggish updates I've been having was reason behind it but I am trying my best to give you a good story. I can't blame you if you feel tired of me and my story because of that, too…

I'm sorry if I have not replied to your reviews but I am _sincerely_ grateful. It's just that I'm managing my time since I'm very busy but it does not mean I'm ignoring you or anything. I am still _your_ Uchiha Xairylle. --glomps all my existing fans--

Ah, well, long author's note!

Please read and review.

Cheerios, Cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!

Akachan – baby

Basta ya – Will you stop that!

Shunko – flash cry… Is not to be confused with shunpo, which is flash step.

Gatito – kitten

--

Oh, and for the hell, I saw a black butterfly that looked like a swallow tail butterfly and started chasing it around the hospital while calling it "Rukia". Gawd, I am _so_ embarrassing. What do they call Bleach fans aside from just "Bleach fans" again? And does anyone have a name for my condition? Haha. Enough of my rambling. Please review!

Bankai to us all!


	13. Idioms

**We're No Longer Ten**  
_By Uchiha Xairylle_

**Part 13 : Idioms**

* * *

What time was it?

"Tell me." Ken'ichi spoke, breaking the tension and earning everyone's attention as he did not bother to peel his eyes of the white insect that was supposed to be his offspring, "Tell me everything. I want to understand everything. Yui is human. I am Shinigami. Why the butterfly?"

"I'll say it again." Urahara said casually, "_You_ are not Shinigami."

The shopkeeper hoped that it would be enough explanation but now that the boy was staring at him, it didn't seem to be the case. Ken'ichi drove his gaze towards Urahara as a silent query and an urge to continue. The shopkeeper was standing flaccidly, in dire contrast to the situation at hand.

"Sixteen years ago, you were conceived by your parents who were both in Shinigami form." Urahara said, "But six years ago, said Shinigami father realized that he was not Shinigami."

"I know that but…"

No explanation might suffice.

"Ken'ichi." Ichigo interrupted, "When I made love to your mother, I unconsciously _altered_ her. I _gave_ her Bankai — three levels of Bankai — something I created out of my subconscious. And for all we know, son, Bankai was _never_ meant to be given or created. Bankai… is earned."

True. To coax another's Zanpakutou to submission for Bankai was not normal.

No other explanation might suffice.

"Plus your father and I did it when we were in a common form." Rukia was trying to sound convincing and soothing at the same time and if she failed, she did not know but she continued anyway, "Ken'ichi, you were Shinigami in human form and Yui is Quincy."

Urahara fanned himself as a gesture of contradiction but chose to remain silent. Kurosaki Ichigo was _not_ Shinigami. He only appeared to be one simply because his Shinigami powers were a bit dominant and that he chose to favor it over his other forms. Had he chosen to be Quincy, it was equally as possible. That had been discussed six years ago and it was rather tiring that it had to be discussed again.

Perhaps it's not that they did not understand it. Maybe it's because they were not ready to face it… again.

"Otousan, Yui is _human_." Ken'ichi replied hardly with a pinch of grunting, "Tell me why she has to have a butterfly? Shouldn't she be pregnant like a normal human being? Human beings conceive in the womb."

"You answered your own question." Uryuu spoke rather calmly for a situation this complicated, "Humans don't conceive with butterflies. They conceive in the womb. Apply simple logic. If the girl does not conceive in the womb, she is not human."

There was a gasp from Yui.

Not human?

"So applying same logic…" Ryu muttered, "If the girl conceives with a white butterfly then the girl must be Shinigami?"

"You're on the right track." Yoruichi walked towards Ken'ichi and Yui. She sounded like they were discovering something entirely good. Life was complicated enough as it is and any more complications added to it couldn't exactly be termed as "good", can it?

"But if that's true, how come my mother remained to be Shinigami after being allegedly altered by my father?" Ken'ichi queried further as if his well of questions would never run dry, "How could you call that alteration?"

It was a question even the Kurosaki head could not answer since even _he_ did not know how he did it. How stupid was it to have other people know more about you than you do? Heck, it wasn't just stupid. It was downright insane.

"Because Ichigo… Ichigo did not turn her into one." Yoruichi replied as her left ear twitched, "Everything that happened was from your father's _subconscious_. It's not that he intentionally edited her to have a Bankai with three levels. It's not that he intentionally edited her to give her two elements of reiatsu. Heck, he could've even turned her into a Hollow if he had a different state of mind. But, no. It happened because _he_ did it. Not because he wanted it. Not because he wished for it. It's just because he _did_ it. It _happened_."

"And your situation with Yui…" Urahara continued, "…Is no different."

It _happened_?

Was that even to be classified as an explanation? How can alteration be something so random?

Alteration.

Alteration was never so deep until now. It almost seemed that his father was some sort of _god_ without knowing it. Could it be that Ken'ichi somehow wanted Yui to be Shinigami without knowing it?

What time was it? Ken'ichi did not want to look at the wall clock.

"So are you saying… that I am… no longer Quincy?" Yui was speaking in an appalled manner that made Ken'ichi's gust twist like mad, "I am no longer Quincy?"

It was something too strange to believe in. How could it be possible that someone could alter one's being by tampering with reiatsu? And how could it even be done without knowing it? And without permission?

How can it?

It wasn't fair.

Yui loved being Quincy.

It wasn't fair. It just _wasn't_ fair.

"You are still Quincy." Uryuu said quite surely as he adjusted his glasses, "The reiatsu of a Quincy still wells inside you. Except now…"

Uryuu paused a while, unsure if he was in any position to be saying such things. Funny. He used to feel he was _the_ person who should be saying things that meant to be explained and understood. He was the smart one, wasn't he? And his senses have barely failed him. He was sure about what he was going to say and yet he wanted to hesitate.

Why?

Perhaps it is the feeling of a father seeing your daughter struggling silently against pain. When your daughter is looking like you as if to ask you to erase all her fears, you would hesitate in saying something she probably wouldn't want to hear.

But he had to.

"… I feel you're part Shinigami."

On the Quincy pride, he had to.

"Shini… gami…" Yui murmured absently to herself as if trying to digest everything all at the same time.

It just wasn't fair.

Yui's vision was swaying but she was not threatening to faint. Perhaps her upbringing forbade her to do so. She wanted to hold onto something but her fingers wouldn't move. The girl caught a glimpse of her father and tears immediately wanted to well in her eyes. But, no. She would not cry.

She would not.

Her upbringing forbade her to do so.

Her upbringing.

On the Quincy pride, she would not cry.

"Otousan…" Yui spoke softly in a vulnerable voice threatening to crack as if to ask for her father's reassurance. Uryuu stood and nodded like the father he was, like the father he should be. He wanted to make some space for his own confusion, disarray and perhaps guilt but that could wait. No, it couldn't just wait but it _must_ wait. His mere gaze could make his daughter feel like there was an arm around her and such a situation was rare. Yui was never used to Uryuu's presence when she was ten and below so this action from her now was new to Uryuu.

_This_ is fatherhood.

_This_ is the time to make up for every minute he lost in the past.

He knew. Orihime knew.

And Orihime wanted to say something but decided to keep quiet. Her daughter needed her father more than her mother right now simply because it was her father who knew more of these things. Ishida Uryuu was the only one who could reassure his daughter.

As a mother, was Orihime a failure? She really did not know. She loved her children to death and treated them like she wanted to be treated but was that ever right? Was that the reason why all of this was happening now? Lots of questions. Orihime knew so well that there was no one who could be in position to dictate what right and wrong parenting is.

Why didn't this complication just happen to her and Uryuu instead of her daughter?

She wondered if this would've happened if she and her family just remained in Tokyo. She wouldn't be in Tokyo in the first place if she had married Kuro—

No.

That's not the answer. It will _never_ be.

Orihime looked at Uryuu.

_I'm sorry. It's you I love._

Orihime took a deep breath. She loved her husband. She loved her family. "Kurosaki-kun" was only a fragment of what _had been_. Him coming up to her mind right now was just an escape route for her.

And she looked at Rukia.

_I'm sorry._

And she looked at Ichigo.

_I'm sorry._

And she looked at her daughter.

_I'm sorry. I can't do anything._

"It does not make sense." Ryu shook his head as he broke the thoughts that were going on in his parents' heads, "How can one be Quincy and Shinigami at the same time? That's not fathomable. Not possible."

"Is it?" Byakuya spoke lowly and in the slow closing of his eyes, spirit threads materialized. It was not the first time Yui saw spirit threads but then to see hers was of crimson was more than enough to render her paralyzed even in thought. The girl was stunned, leaving her mouth open as she looked at the scarlet strip emanating from below her.

"A red spirit thread…" she said vaguely.

Hers.

Without wasting a second, Urahara lifted his cane and lightly tapped on Yui's forehead, forcibly pushing Yui's soul out of her body. There were blurts of her name from several people in the room and someone even cursed. Her body fell forward and her soul fell back. The startled Shiro Chou flew around in surprise before settling on the knee of its mother's soul. The whole thing would've contributed some answers if she came out in a black haori and hakama but no. Yui's soul fell with the spirit chain attached to its body. Alarm hit everyone.

She had a red spirit thread but she had a soul of a normal human.

Yui felt like she was looking at a delusional form of her self. It almost seemed like a dream.

Ken'ichi bit his lip.

This was all _his_ fault.

"What does…" Uryuu began but never finished as he watched Ken'ichi help Yui back into her body. She shook as she returned; the feeling new to her, as she had never experienced being a soul before. Her knees wobbled as she got up and Ken'ichi held her to stabilize her but he could not bring himself to look at her reaction. Her eyes were shiftily moving like her mind in disarray. It was only when her fingers gripped his arm for strength did he gasp and look at her.

Never had he seen her in this weak, confused state.

"Where is her Shinigami form?" Orihime said in a conscious tone, "Where? What happened to my daughter?"

Rukia wanted to wince. It almost sounded like Orihime said, "What had Ken'ichi done to my daughter?"

Ken'ichi forced himself to stay put. He was not going to cry in front of all these people just like how Yui was trying to hold out without breaking into tears.

"Does it make sense now?" Urahara spoke as if to give closure to everything, "It's not Yui's human side that's pregnant but her Shinigami side."

Yui fell, sitting on the bed.

Shinigami side.

_Shinigami_ side.

Shinigami _side_.

The white butterfly rested on Yui's shoulder.

"I have… A Shinigami side." She repeated to her self. Yachiru swallowed and tilted her head. Her eyebrows furrowed in a sad form and she sighed, holding her hands to her self as if thinking of something to contribute. She did not understand why she felt sad but seeing the Quincy girl like this was quite… moving.

"It's going to be okay." Yachiru said as if somehow feeling sorry for Yui who smiled in gratitude.

"No, it's not." Andjaliria said, pointing to the butterfly, "The butterfly doesn't have normal size to begin with."

"Andjaliria." Yachiru spoke in her "Shut up" tone.

"It's true. It's not that simple." Andjaliria was raising her head, "If the girl can not stabilize, the butterfly might die."

Yachiru was now slightly frowning. She hated having to repeat herself while she was in the middle of wanting to do something or thinking of something. She hated hearing what she already made silent.

"I don't think the girl can even take care of her self."

Yachiru grunted, and looked with only her eyes moving towards Andjaliria. And in silence, she reached to draw her sword, which she realized was not there. Perhaps it was better that she was unable to draw. After all, all that time with Ken-chan and you'd think she'd be disappointed to not have a sword beside her.

Yui was sending her half death glare at Andjaliria who was returning it with the same intensity. Ken'ichi had lost interest in partaking in the bickering and was more concerned about the child more than anything else. He was looking longingly at it while it crept on Yui's shoulder. The butterfly was bluish white and was obviously larger than the usual white butterflies he had seen like those of Mai and Hideki. His father was not allowed to touch those two back then and that time, Ken'ichi did not take time or effort to understand why. It was only now that Ken'ichi had come to understand the feeling of deprivation of something you know is yours. It was probably the same feeling that ensued in his father when Mai and Hideki were conceived… probably worse when _he_ was conceived. And the young Shinigami reminisced on the ten years of secrecy his parents underwent regarding his true persona. Now that he was debating within himself if he should do the same, it was hard and painful to realize that he had spat such painful words towards and about his father when he found out that he was Shinigami when he was ten.

The words he blurted out were seeping back forcefully into his head.

"_I've seen a lot of spirits with broken chains but none with swords!"_

Confusion used to be confined by the walls of right and wrong. And then it was caused by Math. And then it was caused by situations involving one's self.

"_What are you! What am I! … I don't even know if that body is me! Who is that!"_

And then it was caused by the existence of swords, souls, Shinigami, Zanpakutou, Hollows, Sereitei…

"_You're out of your body and yet you're not a spirit! You have a sword! What is this about!"_

Back then… Back then… Back then, his problems seemed to be at it's worst point.

"_That's my problem! I'm Shinigami!"_

Perhaps ten year-old Shinigami kids were supposed to handle problems with such magnitude.

"_I'm me and I don't know what I am."_

But right now, he was no longer ten.

He loved Yui. Yes, no question, indeed he did. Then why did he not consider that upon doing something on the urge of hormones and passion, he had jumped into a situation that called for much pleasure, much tension and much sacrifice? He should have considered his state. He was no ordinary Shinigami. Hell, he was not even Shinigami, was he? Shinigami was just something that seemed to be him in the exterior much like how his mother seemed to be human in a gigai.

He was dead. Ever since the time the chain broke when he was ten, he had been dead. And his still living body was a testimony to a myriad of complications. How can you be alive and yet dead at the same time? Idioms allow it. Reality didn't. Or reality was not _supposed_ to allow it. But it did. So perhaps life was an idiom?

This situation was a very, very good example of an idiom. Curse reality, then. He'd rather have a reality free of idioms.

He had two swords. He had a lot of entities, probably as much as the questions he had now. But what's here now is now. He dragged everyone into this mess.

There's no turning back.

His father. His mother. His friends. His beloved.

His child.

His child, most of all, who had _no_ say in the matter, had been dragged into a complicated situation that even Urahara Kisuke had a hard time explaining.

There's no turning back.

"So the child is Shinigami?" Byakuya asked.

"Right now, we could say that but judging by how it looks like, it seems there's more to it than just being Shinigami." Yoruichi said, jumping onto the bed and looking at the butterfly on Yui's shoulder.

"But we did it in human form." Yui spoke.

The pinch of regret in Yui's voice killed Ken'ichi thirty times over in an instant but he could not blame her. He deserved it. He deserved it for being the mess that he is.

Damn it. It's not like he wanted to be a mess. It's not like he was a mess because he caused it. He was like _this_ because he was like _this_. And that, to the world he belonged to, was called an _explanation_.

"Basic rule." Urahara said while he waved a finger at them, "You break the soul chain, you die. That is it. Ken'ichi doesn't have a soul chain, does he? In this situation, there _is_ no human form."

There _is_ no human form.

Ken'ichi grunted.

"Why couldn't I have been just human to begin with?" he said as lowly as possible and then he realized that he shouldn't have said that but no one was reacting. No one must have heard that careless comment of his.

No one heard.

No one except Rukia.

She held back from gasping and immediately, she locked fingers with Ichigo who, in turn, held back from any reaction. It was obvious that Ken'ichi despised the whole situation and his whole being. Who would have thought that falling in love was already so much of a tricky situation for her son?

It all tracked back. It all tracked back to her. If she hadn't given Ichigo any of her Shinigami powers, if she hadn't awakened any of Ichigo's powers, if she hadn't met him in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.

She'd rather not be happy if her child would suffer so much. Or was she overreacting? She was a mother. It was normal.

Rukia wanted to cry.

No. She was not going to cry.

Ichigo was not crying, wasn't he? So she would not cry, too. He was not crying. At least not visibly so then she would share his inner tears much like how she shared his every pain.

Ichigo.

Kurosaki Ichigo.

He was killing himself inwardly. He was blaming himself for _everything_. This was his responsibility and he was more than willing to take it. And yet, it's the same as his mother's death and Rukia's captivity. _No one_ was blaming him.

If only he held back. If only he had chosen to hold back his feelings for Ru— No. Heavens, no. God forbid that he ever think about it again. He can't. Even in his imagination, he couldn't. He wouldn't. Ichigo looked at his son.

On the verge of tears.

_How selfish of a father are you, Ichigo?_

And on the verge of insanity.

_Are you saying that even if you knew that it would amount to this, you would've still married Kuchiki Rukia?_

Ichigo refused to answer his own question. Damn it.

The powers of the Key, the Hougyoku, Shinigami, Quincy, Hollow, Vaizard... The ability to alter entities… It was an ability that was so enormous that Aizen would be so jealous that he'd die.

The ability of altering whatever you wish was the power that was _god-like_.

But who the hell said being god-like demanded no price?

A thousand curses ran through Ichigo's head. Even his very thoughts could not follow. His consciousness had left the room. Where it was, he wasn't sure.

"It… It's not making sense." Yui said again. Ryu looked at her and immediately understood that Yui was thinking the exact opposite of what she said.

_It makes perfect sense_.

"Gomen." Ken'ichi's voice cracked. Yui swallowed hard and gripped his hand. Ichigo bit his lip and Rukia took a deep breath as her fingers locked tighter with Ichigo's. Orihime's hands were touching her lips. Uryuu put an arm around her shoulders.

Byakuya looked out the window.

Andjaliria sighed quietly.

And then it began to rain.

- End of Part 13 -

* * *

Author: SPELL ANGST FOR ME! I don't have much to say for this chapter except that… I hope this clears up several things. I'm sorry if I am late… Again. I'm busy with school work. Math teachers were mostly meant to be mean, weird or combination of both. I applaud Math teachers who are able to pique the non-existing "Math interest" in most students. Seriously, I'm going to die if I get stuck in an elevator filled with signed numbers and stupid variables waiting to be solved… -is talking too much nonsense-

(I should blog, really… Find a permanent blog host or something… Any suggestions?)

Anyway, back to the story… SPELL ANGST! Everyone's blaming no one but their selves. Makes me wonder if even Isshin would blame his self. Okay, I wanna write the next chap now.

Cheerios, Cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!


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